Hi,Â
My name is Allison, and I am a recovering OVER ACHIEVER who has tied her worth in with her work.
I’ve been self employed for 8 of the last 10 years. The first year I worked for myself, I accomplished things that astonished and were accoladed by others. I survived and thrived after an unexpected divorce that left me feeling worthless and unchosen. During that time I experienced a drug like high – That I was worth something because I accomplished something (WARNING WARNING EGO taking HOLD here).
When you work for yourself, there is no one giving you hours or a list of things to do. Â There is also no one to remind you to schedule time off for yourself at the holidays. Â For years I didn’t take more than a day or two off. Â And this year, I planned to give myself 2 full weeks off during the holidays.
I admit it is a bit of a challenge for me to take some time off and do NOTHING. Because ego thoughts – separate from soul – try to tell me that I am nothing without the work that I do, or the performance I accomplish…that I AM my business…or that money will dry up if I take time off. Â This is where the stench of being a recovering overachiever show up and clashes with the aroma of my peppermint mocha.
It shows up in the form of anxiety about “business slowing down” if I stop working. Â I absorbed this toxic idea working in real estate. Â And so today, this recovering overachiever takes a few deep breaths and remembers that everything is taken care of, and that the Universe supports my journey and my seasons – both those of hard work, high visibility, and those of wintering, resting, and restoring energy in both my body and life, and in my coaching practice. Â And that I AM NOT my coaching practice.
It shows up in the form of SHOULDS – these are directly caused when I allow that little thief of JOY in…the one called Comparison…. Â My yucky voice shows up and berates me with these thoughts:
- I should be blogging
- I should be sending an email
- I should’ve made a holiday sale offeringÂ
- I shouldn’t hire coaches now
- I should have more people on my rosterÂ
- I should go back to the online marketing way of things instead of this deeply relational
- I should paint (yes even that)~
- I should have a better wardrobe (oops…. and yes…this slips in after watching 13 episodes of Scandal and seeing Olivia Popes obscenely expensive and gorgeous wardrobe. Â
- I should have gotten everyone presents so that I would be valuable (yes this bull shit creeps up).Â
- I should be responding to those important emails….
and blah blah blah.
And then I take a deep heart centered breath…I come back to my holy truths, spoken to me in love and peace by my Inner Whisper and Divine Business Manager:Â
- I write when I am inspiredÂ
- I email my tribe when I am inspired – I ditched the formulaic auto-drip emails in favor of authentic relating via natural energies.Â
- I didn’t make a holiday sale offering because I wasn’t inspired to do so. Â Money always comes, I have plenty, and there will be plenty in the future. Â Blessings and hooray for those colleagues who did.
- Of course your are hiring coaches now. Â You are completing a cycle and your Inner Wisdom has guided you well in the past and is now. Â Hiring Rich and Rafael was and is the perfect thing to do and now is the perfect time. Â PS…you thrive on these kinds of risks, Darling Allison. Â
- I have just the right number of people on my roster – exactly the number I chose to work with. Â Remember when you had 47, and 72 people…how exhausted your were and how you couldn’t really go deeply with any of them. Â YOU created this space because you desired the space, and depth and connection. Â BREATHE baby… it is perfect. Â And even now, Spirit is stirring a few new people… people who are looking for EXACTLY what you are offering. Â
- Regarding the online model and marketing thing, Allison. – There is no right and wrong. Â There is only what delights you. Â If it delights you…do it. If it repels you…then by all means, don’t. Â Stop taking things so seriously and have more fun. Â Follow your feel good. Â It is the BEST BUSINESS PLAN you have every worked. Â So keep working it…not only in business, but in life, my love.Â
- Paint when you are inspired. Â The guy who wrote WAR of ART – and anyone else that tells you to WRITE OR CREATE OR PAINT everyday because you should…is only telling you what works for them. Â So Allison, what works for you? Does it work for you to paint today? Then paint. Â If not then don’t.Â
- Enjoy the beauty of those clothes…and enjoy the comfort of your cotton and jeans and comfy shoes. Â When your spirit is in alignment –you LOOK GOOD and don’t have to wear high heels or swanky suits to support those you love and work with. Â If you want some sassy clothes… go get them….but you know you love your own unique version of style. Â Look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are NOW -today, even in your pjs and no make up. Â YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.Â
- Christmas – boy has it gotten messed up. Â Christmas isn’t about presents…it is about PRESENCE. Â The best gift you can give others is PRESENCE. Â BE PRESENT with your family and friends….but first and MOST importantly, be PRESENT with yourself. Â BE PRESENT with ME!Â
- Allison, my love, emails and anything else on your to do list….. they can wait. Â Remember…just be PRESENT. Â Follow Your FEEL GOOD. Â Trust your INSPIRATION. Â Go with your FLOW – even if it ebbs. Â Check in, CENTER…get in alignment. Â You know how to roll with this. Â And enjoy NOT being in email for a few more days love…. it will help with the PRESENCE. Â
AH yes….just a few moments to STOP the ego and inner critic thoughts. Â To hear what they have to say, and then gently listen to my Inner Wisdom and what she has to say. Â To allow myself that Divine Support. Â To know that I AM, simply because I exist. Â That, while yes, I contribute to the world and have created the gift of work that I love, and that I am not that work. Â I am not even the greatest of my contribution. Â I am simply spirit…that wants from time to time, to be PRESENT with ONENESS. Â Not so busy in the To DO’s of life and work.
Achievement — nothing wrong with it. Â Nothing wrong with hard work –and…remember who you were before you got lost. Â REMEMBER WHO YOU WERE BEFORE YOU GOT LOST. Â Get back in alignment with HER…and Just BE and watch life unfold perfectly.Â
Free Your Soul Babe…detach from all the thinking. Â Just because you think it…does not make it true. Â Tune in, center and just be— just be whatever your desire in each moment. Â