Follow & Feel Your Heart Archives - Allison Crow

Take Time to Look (& Listen)

allisoncrow — Wed, 21 May 2025 15:32:36 +0000

The last thing I want to do when life feels SLOW is slow down even more. Many months ago, I came across this painting by Sarah Bamford Seidelmann. It landed in my feed, and I instantly purchased a wood print from her. It has been over my left shoulder, helping me remember who I am, since I unpacked it.

“Take time to look,” said Georgia O’Keeffe. My own brain also added, “Take time to listen.”

The impossible standards conditioned into my brain expected insight and direction in a flash. My soul knows better, but that did not stop so many parts of me from being irritated, frustrated, self-blaming & shaming, and even afraid.

The vision, the next, the path… has been right here all along in dozens of tiny puzzle pieces. Thirty years ago, soul seeds were planted when I discovered the work of Thomas Moore in a Boulder, Colorado bookstore.

I KNEW.
I’ve always known, and of course, like many of us do, I’ve been distracted in the living of life, in the unbecoming of my training, and in the gaining of wisdom that only experience can bring. Of course, this had to wait until my 3rd Act.

It’s all here.
No big flash today, just stepping forward into the re-enchantment of everyday life from a grounded, weathered, and strangely confident place.

I’ve always known and now it’s time to harvest what has been reblooming all along.

“The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life” gave me permission to have a diverse portfolio of interests and expertise from my early 20s. A scholar, teacher, counselor, psychologist, spiritual student, poet, artist, writer, another kind of mother, and tender of souls in life and work.
“The Education of the Hear t” and “Elemental Self.” (All by Thomas More and all on my shelf for 25-30 years).

My own company, Soul-Full Living, LLC – although my business has evolved over the years, SOUL-FULL remains the guiding path. SELF connection and trust amidst an enticing and distracting world are still the fuel.

The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope, and my own book Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human.

I could list 132 more puzzle pieces that have come together to undoubtedly show me that my mission is in moments, not in moonshots or impact.

In a world of volatility, uncertainty, and complexity, being connected to self, source, and the present moment matters. Intentional living, community, and expression of creativity, poetry, nature, caring conversations, and everyday enchantment – this is the world I am committed to creating.

Take time to look. Take time to listen. Trust yourself. Let it take time.

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In a Romantic Relationship with My Desk Why Yes

allisoncrow — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:56:06 +0000

She’s lived in every home I’ve owned and briefly been loaned to each of my husbands as I experimented with other working spaces (does anyone remember my haunted antique lawyer d

esk?). She is back in my space, my studio, my office, and deeply in my heart at this moment.

Fall in love – like real love, be in a relationship with a block of wood and two clunky iron thingys that hold the wood for a desk?

Completely and utterly.

This morning she is strewn with remnants of my pencil case carried to the Elizabeth Gilbert Rob Bell thing in the woods of the Hudson Valley in NY. Three lip glosses claim their parallel space between the pens and paint brushes – all beloved and daily used tools of my creativity.

How do I know I’ve fallen in love with this inanimate – but is she really an inanimate object EVERY time I sit here, my whole body feels an openness and clear-like-fresh-spring-water LOVE. We’ve built this over time. My trust, once given freely from immaturity, now takes time to build, and this desk and I have some serious time on task BECOMING together. Tears well up and let me know I am alive and I feel. Maybe it’s the menopause, but I’m pretty sure it is the love and life and work and creation this desk, and I have shared.

Today she holds my book stacks and a freshly lit “Ancient Tome” candle made by my former client, Michelle.

Yesterday, she held me as I went super deep on 3 different coaching calls that I truly felt helped my clients. New rosemary mint hair oil to soothe my menopausal itchy scalp, 4 different eyeglass cleaners, and all the computers and technologies that

allow me to share my heart, show my work, and connect with you from the calm safety of my own home. How could I not be in love This desk and I have stories to tell.

And so we will.

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Struggling with the Social Media Marketing Machine

allisoncrow — Fri, 17 Feb 2023 17:16:25 +0000

An insight about my creative process that may point you to insights about your own creative process:

When I openly acknowledge the hard and I can compassionately witness myself and even the tiniest of suffering, the hard often lifts within a few days.

It is a part of accepting the both/and – of living in the Wild Edges of Being Human.

PS TL/DR people move on. I’m not here for your dopamine hit; my writing is here to help me and then you think differently and change your life.

Current Hard:

In my current facebook memories – are the promos and images for the course I used to teach called Share Your Heart: Show Your Work – a delightful and helpful course about authentic marketing on social media. The course was reverse-engineered from what delightfully worked for me in the first 7 years of moving my business online after leaving corporate.

I LOVED and enjoyed my relationship with social media.

And currently -I don’t feel that love. I am aware that my lenses are cloudy and the “lens cleaner” is in my own hand, not outside of me.

Since 2008 I have created and shared prolifically online. Since even before that, if you count my blogspot blog.

I do love to write and to process and share with words.

I did thousands of live videos and have recorded almost 200 Podcast episodes. For the last four years, I have written and then published a book from my heart.

For most of that time, it was effortless – truly 98% spontaneous overflow of my precious yellow heart .

And that Sharing My Heart and Showing My Work allowed you all to get to know me – and many of you – hundreds – stepped forward to work with me in some way. It never felt like selling.

Recently, I have inner parts that are overwhelmed and irritated, and deeply sad about the extreme parts of crappy capitalism. My brain can’t unsee the patterns of greed. I, like many of you, often feel the burnout of crappy capitalism and the burnout of shitty social media. And yet, here I am, a capitalist, selling a high-fee service – a luxury. And my revenue has become reliant on me “Sharing My Heart and Showing My Work.”

“Content creation” in order to….. SELL has been repulsive to me. I feel like I’m standing in a house of mirrors and can’t escape it. Go viral, get followers, convert in your DMs, do this reel, do that tiktok, get famous on booktok…….

Be in the world, not of the world, became a mandate instead of an opportunity.

Of course, instead of letting it rest, I wrestle and inquire with that repulsion; I judge myself and become hard on myself – not mean, but certainly, I put pressure to come to a conclusion.

My discernment has gotten foggy, and I’ve slipped into full-on waiting for people to ASK to hire me. It’s been easier to judge others for not choosing my credibility and value than it has been to stand in it and make offers.

In writing this and speaking with my friend Jeanine – things are already starting to clear up. It makes perfect sense that those muscles would atrophy after the year I had last year. Grief and a heart attack will do that to you.

The questions I’m tenderly pondering in this content creation marketing kerfuffle:

What do I truly desire?

What would feel fun?

What obligations could I release?

What if I didn’t give SO much..what if I let less be more.

What’s possible in business and networking relationships away from social media?

What in the garden of my business is ready to be uprooted and released, what just needs some pruning, and what needs to be planted, anew?

And for now, I’ll end right there and just BE.

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Recovering Overachiever Complete

allisoncrow — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 16:01:24 +0000

Yes, it’s the time of year when I think about what I desire for the year ahead. And the slowness and space help me FEEL and notice my cravings (the deeper under the “don’t feel” cravings)…. and my feelings actually give me so much information. In the “coachy” and “mindset” world, we have been taught to ignore them…that they aren’t reliable.

I disagree.

When I really self-connect with the feeling parts of me, I get the BEST and TRUEST wisdom… I get information about what’s UNDER the feeling and emotion. Emotions are the means of getting my attention so that I might slow down to get curious and go deeper.

Even the deep pangs of loss and grief are my teachers and give me hope I wouldn’t have without the loss. Being willing to feel all the way to the edges of this human condition is giving me life!

Here’s what I sense for me for the coming year:

Yet, ANOTHER deeper layer of truly being ME – without the masks. Embracing my quirks of using so many words instead of being concise as a speaker and teacher. Living in my unfilteredness MORE instead of less because I feel shame put on my by the world’s SHOULDS.

Yesterday I was hit with a wave of business grief when listening to a podcast with Brene Brown, Adam Grant, and Simon Sinek. A younger part of me has longed for “notoriety” and success like they have for years. But wanting and having are two different things. And my reasons for wanting that have been healed more and more. I wanted that to feel significant. But now that I FEEL significant from within, I sense no need or desire for that and I certainly don’t want the effort and complexity of that much BIGNESS.

On that podcast, I was struck by two terms – and I’m stealing them and putting them in my own context.
Maker and Manager.

Having that much bigness requires a large portion of “managerness” just for function. And my system doesn’t function well at all with that much “managerness.” Even with leveraged help, my brain stalls with so much mental load.

I am a MAKER! Not a manager. I am a creator and a creative. I am sensitive and tender. I require excessive space to really thrive. I do love ideas, and coaching, and teaching, and writing, and making art. I crave connection and belonging more than scale.

Even though for years I have been living in my authentic self – there is another layer that has yet to surrender to who I AM instead of the pressure I take on to be.

Here’s a really private thought: Do you know how subconsciously I feel so much shame about my coaching income That I haven’t doubled or grown beyond what I make.

There are so many big swinging dicks blasting their million dollar + revenue in my professional world, and there is always the lure and pressure of scaling. Many of my own client’s incomes surpass my own.

What’s funny is – I’ve sustained a solid 175-210k a year gross for all but 2 of my years in this industry (the first year and the first year I went out on my own were both below 100k). Even this year, when I didn’t sell shit for the last 7 months of the year because I had to take care of personal things more than business – I thought my business would suffer – the money still came in. I usually net about 50% of that. This year my business will net less due to book and event expenses. My living expenses are deliciously low, and somehow my savings helped cover hospital and vet bills out the wazoo this year.

And my brain has been conditioned that that is NOT ENOUGH. Can you imagine being ashamed of that?
The fact that I have had a sustainable coaching practice for almost 20 years is an INCREDIBLE accomplishment. And I am done with the not-enoughness. I’m am done with MORE MORE MORE….

I wanna MAKE MAKE MAKE, Create Create Create, Play Play Play, and Connect, Connect Connect.
I wanna cultivate connection and be in my humanness – not drive drive drive. I wanna trust myself more than I ever have – 2023 has shown me that I CAN.
I wanna be in the PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE of living and creating to the wild edges of being human. I’d love to start speaking on stages again – as long as I am free to be me- no filters. I’d love to get paid for writing, and I’d love delicious coaching partnerships. I’ll keep getting paid for lots of the work I create and the help I offer. It’s just what I do. The significance and abundance I thought I didn’t have – has been in me all along.

As my husband once said so wisely, “Allison, I love that you are into growth and change- it’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But you try so hard to grow, I don’t try to grow at all and I still do.”

It’s been here on my wall all along on this poster. And as my system does, it starts in my cognitive brain, and slowly through space and practice it becomes REAL in my whole body and nervous system.

AND SO IT IS.

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Allow the Fallow: Your Struggle is Valid.

allisoncrow — Wed, 19 Oct 2022 13:22:24 +0000

2022 has been a year of difficult events and circumstances. A multi-layered shit sandwich for sure. Do you know what I’m most proud of Allowing myself to suffer, feel uncomfortable, and be “a mess.”

I am more alive because I did not contain myself to the narrows of “positivity” or “learning a lesson.” I did not constrict myself into a tiny container store pretty package for presentability.

My Soul is more nourished today because I allowed the fallow season. I wrestled, wined, and spilled over the edges. And it was fucking glorious.

I didn’t need to invalidate it because it wasn’t as bad as another. Stop that gaslighting shit. To yourself and others.

There are simply some seasons where the content and events simply suck. Your suffering is valid.

You are human.

What if you didn’t leave yourself and chose presence and compassion instead?

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Deep Inner-Work – Both/AND

allisoncrow — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 15:13:02 +0000

If you are doing deep inner work, transformational work- I see you and honor you and GET that it’s a scribbly-rollercoaster ride of ups-down-all-around. I get that it can be heavy being with some of these parts. Today I want to remind you that both the messy transformation and your powerful remembering can exist at the same time.

You can process and touch old stored sadness, and touch the power of your light and wholeness in the same breath.

It takes courage to go within… and for that be tender and gentle. And remember that SELF energy also entails bright clarity, powerful courage, confidence, and divine creativity.

Practice being present with the BOTH/AND.

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Drop Below Your Head to Inner Authority

allisoncrow — Wed, 20 Oct 2021 15:21:33 +0000

Inner Authority: hello fellow recovering people pleasers.

Hello, over-functioning and over-empathic leaders.

All these things work until they don’t… and now here you are realizing so much of what made you successful was behavioral patterns born out of childhood trauma, emotional neglect…. And the entire effing world and systems and media and religion and school and everything that conditioned you to give your authority away!!!

Did I mention religion You know, the kind that, in 3rd grade, threatened to leave you behind if you didn’t fall in line….

And so even though you are successful, maybe you find yourself doing the next course, or high-end mastermind, or upgrading your branding or whatever the thing is you think will get you to that nebulous “there.”

Even after all the success and stability- you still get flooded with doubt, overbook your calendar out of obligation, neglect the things that nourish you even though you thrive better if you do them…. And then you spiral into shame because you “aren’t doing it right.”

well, here we’re are. And you are totally doing it right.

But don’t take it on my authority….

Slow down and check deep down in your own body, your own heart, in the place deeper and truer than all the voices….

What does that part of you say Remember who you BE. And that you are the decider. You CAN trust yourself to BE YOU, do things your way, slow down…. Build certainty in your own authority.

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The Heartbreak of Losing Your Hobbies

allisoncrow — Sun, 18 Jul 2021 14:30:02 +0000

You can’t remember the last time you painted, or went dancing, or threw some clay. Your crocheting yarns are in a basket in the back of the closet. Your oil paints are in storage…. (Most of these are stores my clients have told me….). Losing your hobbies is – the slow and subtle kind.

Long ago the business of everyday life took over. Your own hobbies seemed excessively indulgent- there were more important matters to attend to.

But what if I told you that making time for your hobbies could bring your zing back That sparkle in your eye?

You take care of everyone else… but your joy is left till the last moment… and those moments never seem to make it before you crash at the end of the day.

This is a reminder and a permission slip to do something creative and fun JUST for the sake of doing something creative and fun because you LOVE it!

What creative and joyful outlet would you love to either get back to or start?

Allison

Ps. Today I drew cheeseburger macarons.

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Leadership Self-Check (ps Follow Me on TikTok)

allisoncrow — Sun, 06 Jun 2021 15:15:37 +0000

@allison_crow

Quick self check for all my small business leaders: ##selfleadership ##smallbusinessowner ##encouragement

♬ Creative – SmiLE

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Pick your Creative Play Back Up

allisoncrow — Mon, 31 May 2021 15:49:30 +0000

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A post shared by Allison Crow 💛 Humaning (@allison_crow)

Something clicked back on in me this morning. Early March…. I knew I was tired. I knew I needed a break from work creation. I kept serving my clients. I delivered my event and a retreat… I even enrolled for my deep coaching circle – all heart tasks at hand…

But I had no vision. No juice. My soul felt dehydrated- I just needed the space of nothingness and I have slept obscene amounts over the last 3 months.

I knew just to let the ebb be (especially work creation wise). I’ve been doing some pretty deep inner work with my own coach/therapist …. I’ve been meeting parts of myself I’ve pushed away or dismissed for years.

A few weeks ago I started craving painting again, somewhat sad that in 2017 I essentially put all paintbrushes down. Looking back I can see where I stripped down to bare bones to survive some deep emotional stuff.

It’s a challenge to go slow in the ebb. It’s a challenge to trust the need for rest. And it always pays off.

Today at my desk…. listening to music and looking at Pinterest of all things….. something pierced through a wall in my heart… the tears flowed and I could breathe again. I remembered:

I AM a CREATIVE SOUL!

Creativity through art is my juice- through personal creative play – I REMEMBER who I AM.

So much of my creativity has been mental business building creativity- and it has served me, BUT left me dry and tired.

Today, I felt like ALL of me… when I got dressed. When I put on an old denim shit and a white tank…. when I sat down, not to plan for work… but to just creatively explore.

I Remember.

What do you need to remember ???

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