Allison Crow

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Wonky Programming, Over-DOING, & the Path to Healing

December 4, 2012

 

This week is light in my schedule.  In fact, the last few weeks has been light.  If I  had a J.O.B, I would be thankful, and as a business owner, I have a little wonky programming that needs soothing around this – in fact, it needs healing.

I’m feeling the itch, and in reading client journals, I see that other coaches/business owners are also feeling the itch of the slow down. As a recovering OVER-ACHIEVER this slow down is a part of my healing, and a part of living a soul-full life and a part of keeping the energy and alchemy of my business in balance.

Why the wonky programming label? Allow me to explain:

First of all, I’m working from a model by T. Harv Eker called PTFAR:

 

At any given time, one can find where they are on this model, and then track BACKWARDS to make a shift.

Here’s what hasn’t worked:

I felt yucky and useless because I haven’t been as busy as I am in the spring and summer (launching tons of courses and coaching a full load). What I found myself doing was trying to TAKE ACTION to soothe the itch.  For the last few weeks, I used the analogy of dud fireworks.  I’d light an idea, desiring to launch it in to reality and shortly after that idea was lit –  PFFFFT – dud.  Every time. This led to more frustration and feelings of uselessness. And certainly, no new results. A hopeless cycle.

We live in this society that seems to esteem the doers and the achievers and so often to soothe an uncomfortable feeling we take ourselves mistakenly forward in this circle trying to change our results, without first changing the source of the problem in the first place.

Go BACKWARDS to MOVE FORWARD:

If we look at the model and work backwards to the source, then there is hope, then there is change.

If I recognize that I am feeling itchy and irritated about my slow down I can move backwards in the circle.  For me, the point of recognition is the FEELING stage.  For many this may be the RESULTS stage.  (I shifted to using the FEELINGS stage as my guidance tool when I realized that if I was FEELING in alignment, good, light ~ then I ALWAYS was getting the RESULTS I’d hoped for).  So here is what it looks like broken down:

FEELINGS:

  • emotionally itchy
  • discontent
  • restless
  • annoyed with my self
  • (and these could lead to panic, scarcity,  and, anxiety if not checked)

THOUGHTS:

  • I should be doing more
  • I should have a full schedule
  • I should be launching/creating/doing something

PROGRAMMING:

  • If I’m not busy, I’m not earning money
  • If I’m not busy, I’m not growing
  • If I’m not busy, I’m not valid– I’m useless
  • I’m only valid or significant if I have a to-do list a mile long
  • If I slow down and rest -business will dry up
  • I am nothing if I have nothing to do

Just because we believe it doesn’t make it true and how reprogramming can bring healing.

Even as I write both my thoughts and feelings down, I KNOW that these statements simply aren’t true. They are full of shame, scarcity and unworthiness.  I’ve done a lot of work questioning the stories I tell myself, and so I can recognize it pretty quickly once I isolate the thoughts and beliefs in my head by putting them on paper – a.k.a getting them out of my head.

Our thoughts terrify and traumatize us, especially if left unchecked. If you are holding tight to the beliefs in your head, and you put them on paper, and still believe them, I want to encourage you to question those stories even deeper.  See how connecting to Spirit, to your Inner Whisper, about the truth of your programming, can soften your thinking, release the shame, and begin the process of healing.

Here are a series of questions to ask yourself in questioning the THOUGHTS and PROGRAMMING in your mind:

  • Who says?
  • Who told you that first?
  • Where did you hear that?
  • Do you HAVE to believe that thought?
  • What if you didn’t?
  • Does it feel good to believe that thought?
  • Is that thought moving you forward or holding you back?

Programming is like code.  Programming IS code.  It is the code that moves us through our every days, without our awareness. We live by the code in our minds. That code either serves us or holds us back.

This code was causing me suffering – and nothing but suffering so it is clearly time for a CODE TWEAK! Time to upgrade the thoughts and programming. Below you can see the trade ups I made on my original thinking, by slowing down, breathing, and asking my Inner Whisper what the DIVINELY ALIGNED PROGRAMMING is :

  • If I’m not busy, I’m not earning money- NOT TRUE – there is always enough and the universe provides, and over time I have built systems and support into my business that bring income in, even while I’m not doing.  I can find a balance of doing and being.  In fact -BEING, REST, and the SLOW DOWN are essential to taking effective action. AND, I am not in a dollars for hours business.  I have set it up that way and my past inspired actions have stored up both money and time for this hibernation season.
  • If I’m not busy, I’m not growing.  NOT TRUE – I am always growing and learning.  Being present, sitting still is a beautiful, deep, soul-full way of growing.  AND, who says I always have to be growing? Look at nature.  Many plants and animals take time to hibernate, to rest, to go dormant.  They store up energy, food, fat, etc to allow for it.  How could I allow for hibernation that would restore my energy and bring forth new fruit in my life and my business?
  • If I’m not busy, I’m not valid– I’m useless.  Not only NOT TRUE – but BULLSHIT! That is the inner critic shaming me.  The holy and sacred fact is, I AM, simply  by being, I AM VALID. I AM ENOUGH. The Universe brought me here. I am not my body, I am not my work, I am not my realtionships, I am not my talent.  I AM my SPIRIT and that simply is valid.  I AM LOVE.
  • I’m only valid or significant if I have a to-do list a mile long.  NOT TRUE – See previous statement.
  • If I slow down and rest -business will dry up.  NOT TRUE – Every living thing needs rest, needs space, needs slow down.  Athletes muscles need recovery time. The energy of your business, your heart, your mind need recovery time too, and when training and performing mode come back to the forefront, you will be better because you rested…because you allowed the slow time. No need to fill it with busy work, or self shaming or doubting thoughts. There is a time for everything under the sun, you can hear the whisper of your Spirit saying, I will hold you, I will provide and I have provided.  Allow this space and stillness, there will be a time to work again. That time is not now.  
  • I am nothing if I have nothing to do:  NOT TRUE – See statements two and three.

After trading these thoughts up for more loving and life-supporting thoughts, I can now re-program my thinking and being healing my life.

I am able to allow the ebb and flow of life, of business, of energy.  I am enough.  I trust the flow of life.  Just BE, day by day the energy of the universe will guide me.  When I listen to Spirit, I will hear the directions that will bless my life.  Life happens for me.  I appreciate time to slow down. IT IS OK For this week…THESE weeks to be slower…..remember Allison, winter, hibernation, recovery time. Everything you need is out there in this beautiful universe. It will all come- it has and does, at just the right time. You have everything you need now -and filling it with BUSYNESS is not the answer.

And now forward again.

I’ve adjusted my PROGRAMMING and can now move forward in the model.  My thinking is softened and the itch and restlessness are relieved. I can feel the peace and ease of trusting the flow of life, knowing that inspired action will come again in perfect timing. It may not be a permanent fix, but it is a start.  For new programming to take hold, we have to love ourselves enough to PRACTICE the new THINKING – A-HA! The INSPIRED ACTION! The practicing of the new programming will lead to new results!

And so I’m off to gently practice and sit with the new loving programming, repeating it in meditation, writing, journaling, and practicing it out in the world.  And, maybe I will take a nap, just because I can.

 

 

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Hibernation inner critic OverAchiever Programming PTFAR Slow Down T Harv Eker Thinking
by allisoncrow 

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Comments

  1. Abundant Souls says: December 4, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Great post!! Let’s hear it for balance and slowing down! 🙂

    • Allison Crow says: December 4, 2012 at 7:17 pm

      Thank you! Hooray for the slow!

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My word of the year this year chose me, I didn’t My word of the year this year chose me, I didn’t choose it.

The word?

JOY.

It feels so fitting this week, as I played with what I was going to share with you on the podcast, the word “joyful” just kept coming up with “ambition” and I loved the way “joyful ambition” sounded.

It made me think about what’s required to have joyful ambition, what ambition really is, and how we can let it be fully part of us.

I’m sharing my reflections around these questions and YOUR amazing responses to my question of “what is ambition” (SO COOL to hear from you all, thank you for sharing your thoughts!) on the show today.

It’s my hope that this episode will help respark the ambition inside you if needed and will encourage you to allow yourself to be the ambitious person that you are.

Listen at the link in my bio, or wherever you usually enjoy the show, and if you want to add your definition of ambition to my collection, share with me below!
Hey.... be sure and #rest. Profound engagement req Hey.... be sure and #rest. Profound engagement requires profound DISengagement and downtime. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been requiring much more rest these last few weeks.

My tired lil brain likes to try and use that weariness to “should” on me... tell me I’m falling behind. Does your brain start to spin when you are tired? Yep. That’s not a sign to push through.... that’s a sign to slow down. 

You are NOT behind, you are not gonna miss out on anything. It’s important To sustain your body and soul.

This morning it was nice to put the phone and computer away for a while and play 18 holes of nature frisbee golf.... just to be outside. This afternoon is naps and chill time. Work can wait till Monday .... especially if your soul needs a bit of rest.

If you’re on fire and it feels good, go fast. You do YOU. No comparison or competition.

Xoxox,
Oh and do drink some water! Hydration helps.
Do you know how to feel good? Even better, do you Do you know how to feel good? Even better, do you know how to feel difficult emotions?  Grab you a copy of my Feel Good Guide!  The link is in my bio! 
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#feelgoodguide #breatheyall #howtofeelbetter #manageemotions #selfleadership #mindset #lifecoachingforwomen #overwhelmedbylife #slowdowntospeedup #betterlifebetterwork #authenticandmbtious #transparentleadership
Don't forget... We "breathe y'all" so we can get Don't forget...

We "breathe y'all" so we can get back to center, to get back to ambition, to get back to BEing.

So breathe y'all, we're here and we're doing our very best.

Authentic & Ambitious,

Allison
I remember the first time I shared something from I remember the first time I shared something from behind the curtain of my life on a public stage. 

2008. It was in Austin, at the convention center Hilton. I was on stage, on a panel of successful Productivity coaches. 

I shared something about my mental health.... struggling for a lifetime with depression and anxiety....AND managing to run a successful coaching practice. 

After that session - I had a line 50 yards long of other coaches from around the country lined up to meet me.  All they wanted to say was, “thank you.... me too... you give me hope.”

A few days later I was talking with my mentor and the CEO of our coaching org.  I mentioned the impact my unusual (at the time authenticity was not cool) share... and she looked at me with steel, disapproving eyes, “I would have NEVER...” she barked at me. 

Well I did. And my heart 𝑘𝑛𝑒𝑤, other people needed to know that there were humans behind the leadership curtain.  Real live people, with messy, real lives, figuring out a way to thrive and prosper, not financially and emotionally. 

It only took two more years of wrist slapping and disapproval (I made them too much money for them to kick me out) at that company to get the guts to go out on my own. 

Unemcumbered, free to be me. 

It hasn’t always been pretty, or professional, and I’m SURE it has cost me business. But it has never cost me my soul. It has never cost me the gift of being fully me. 

And even that took practice and exploration. 

Be with people, clients, jobs, family, and friends, that you can be your full self with. 

Be outrageously authentic and your ambitions will be fulfilled. 

💛,
Your favorite life and business coach. 
Allison.
Doors closing! Y'all know how much I love my Soul Doors closing!

Y'all know how much I love my Soul-Full Success program.

It's truly a place where my Soulies and I grow, learn and SUPPORT each other.

It's where we can ask questions like: What do you want to create? What do you want to be known for? Who are you becoming in 2021? Where specifically do you want to stretch and grow?

I'm so damn proud of this community and all the work, both for Life and Biz, that Soulies put in.

And in order to create the sacred space that is Soul-Full Success, I can't continuously let people join.

So I'll be closing the doors to join us tonight, so I can focus on supporting those who are in the community.

I don't say this to scare or taunt you, I say this to be honest and transparent and hopefully motivate you if this is something you have been thinking about.

I want the RIGHT people in Soul-Full Success. Those that are ready to do the inner and outer work. Those that are looking for more authenticity and ambition in their life. Those that are ready to show up for themselves, their business, and their gifts.

If this is you, apply to join us at the link in my bio. If this isn't you, thanks for following along anyways, happy to share this space with you!
Here’s some truth: I’ve been told: * Your re Here’s some truth:

I’ve been told:

* Your relationship with your husband is awful. I can’t have you as a coach.  Oh. And why would anyone pay 188/month for your coaching. That’s insane. 

* I think you are codependent and need me to suffer. It’s all about you. 

* This podcast is awful. Why is all that noise in the background? Is she writing. I can hear markers squeak, squeak, squeak.  Horrible. 

* You are too authentic. 

* It’s your fault my marriage is a mess. 

* I wouldn’t wish friendship with you on my worst enemy.

* You are a liberal Satanist snowflake

* You are an asshole. 
♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎♒︎

.... to these people.... all these things are true and I’m ok with it. 

Stop stopping because of those who won’t align with you.  Keep sharing your heart and showing your work for the ones that need what you are sharing. 

Ps:
I AM a liberal snowflake. 
I believe in Aliens 👽 and Ghosts 👻 and NDE.
I watch way too much tv and I love it. 
I “hear” things audibly many people don’t. 
I see colors on people when I look. 
I believe in science and in the climate crisis. 
Human behavior fascinates me. 
I have a hot temper. Way less worse than it used to be. 
I believe in alternative and western medicine. 
I voted for Hillary. 
I am a better coach than I am friend. 
I am an asshole. Totally. 
I really hate Amazon but clearly I value convenience and comfort more than justice. 
My coaching is 333$/month or 18k+ a year. 
And....
I put pineapple on my pizza. 

I love me. 
💛
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