Who are my fellow humans with strong and vocal Overthinking Parts?nbsp; (I capitalize these to represent the personification of these parts of us). 

Overthinking is a conversation with oneself that too often goes unmonitored. As those thoughts can run amok, they can activate even more Anxious Parts, or Shame.

And guess what It’s not about quieting the noise; it’s about understanding and really hearing the message and truth these parts have for us.  After a lifetime of trying to contol these parts, what my clients and I now know, is that these parts need our connection and attunement.  They are craving our connection and curiosity, not control.

As a seasoned coach, I’ve learned that addressing overthinking requires compassion, and a new inner conversation. Engage with your inner protectors—Procrastination, Distraction, Avoidance—with curiosity and kindness. Want to know how to turn these parts into allies for your well-being and your business’s success I’m here to help you learn to hear and trust your own true self.

Here’s a journal prompt to explore and connect within. Reminder, have a direct conversaion with this overthinking part vs “thinking about or over analizying the Overthinker.”

Hello Overthinking,

I see you.

I will not leave you.

I am here for you.

What would you like me to know

What do you need me to understand about your fears and concerns?

I am listening and will just take in your message – without trying to fixe you. 

I am here.  

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders .  If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

The post Crafting Authentic Confidence: Working With Overthinking Parts appeared first on Allison Crow.

In the intricate tapestry of our lives, there exists a phenomenon often overlooked but profoundly influential – invisible systems. Like silent puppeteers, these systems shape our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions without us even realizing their presence. And without even realizing it, we develop coping mechanisms to survive within the pressures of these systems. 

The Existence of Invisible Systems

Did you know that invisible systems abound in our world From the moment of our birth, we are enmeshed in a web of unseen structures that dictate how we navigate our reality. Until we become aware of these systems, we are bound to respond with our own set of coping mechanisms – mechanisms designed to forge connections and avert rejection and disconnection. At first, these coping mechanisms work, and eventually, they begin to be more of a problem when one realized their authenticity has been left behind. 

The Desire for Connection and Authenticity

At the core of our beings lies a deep-seated yearning to be loved and accepted. This innate desire drives us to seek authenticity, to be true to ourselves in a world governed by various invisible systems such as patriarchy, capitalism, familial structures, educational paradigms, and workplace dynamics. It starts young, even before you can speak. 

Navigating the Invisible

It may not be immediately apparent, but these invisible systems wield significant influence over our lives. One key to reclaiming autonomy and authenticity is to unravel the intricacies of these systems. Once we start to recognize them, we cannot turn a blind eye. We are faced with a choice – to succumb to anger or to harness our understanding for growth.

Embracing Internal Family Systems

In our journey towards self-discovery and empowerment, one powerful modality emerges – Internal Family Systems. By delving into the complexities of our internal landscape, we uncover the facets of our sacred SELF and her wisdom for leading us from the inside out.  This work helps us see our unconscious coping mechanisms, our benevolent wounded parts, and the protectors within. Through befriending these inner parts,  we liberate ourselves from the hooks that tether us and learn to lead with authenticity.

Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison

Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview: /ifs/

Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human /unarmoredthebook

The post Unveiling the Invisible Outside and Inside: Understanding Systems and Coping Mechanisms appeared first on Allison Crow.

The more I meet myself (and my parts), the less I want to punch other people in the face.

 

Most of us are conditioned to despise, fear, and suppress “negative emotions.” I don’t believe that any emotions are negative. I believe they have wisdom and information for us. I believe there are cognitive and body skills we can learn to understand and lead our emotions instead of them leading us.

 

There will be no more erupting and no more pressing down (depression). Emotional self-leadership and the language of emotions can be learned and practiced.

Most people are taught that emotions don’t belong at work. Mental health, anxiety, & stress much What if these parts could be softened and compassionately led into relaxing & sharing their wisdom, leading to calm and creative confidence and courage?

 

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders .  If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

 

I also wrote about this in my book #Unarmored –Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

#lifecoachingforentrepreneurs #ifscoaching #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipcoaching

The post Punching People In The Face appeared first on Allison Crow.

It was flattering, of course, as my years of expertise and effectiveness as a coach were what had this person want me for the position.

Obviously, I didn’t take the position. While I’m sure the coaching company will do great things and help many people, I had two questions for the CEO before even going down the path to considering this role:

1. Can I put the CLIENT first in my coaching, or would I have to put the company first?

2. Would I have to filter myself, or could I be fully me?

Without even a spoken word, it became a clear NO for both of us.

I’m sure I’ve lost position and profit, over and over, because SELF-TRUST must come first, both for me and for my clients.

#selfconnection and #selftrust are skills – they are learned and practiced. And most of the systems around you are teaching you the opposite – to bend to the will of giving away your power and sovereignty.

You know more than you think you do; you have the wisdom within. Cultivate those skills of #selfconnection and #selftrust.  

Love,
💛 Allison

Podcast Episodes on Self Trust:

SELF-Trust & Invisible Systems

Coping Skills & Self-Trust

The post If You Can’t Lead Clients with SELF-TRUST What is the Real Agenda in Coaching? appeared first on Allison Crow.

𝟰 𝗘𝗹𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗨𝗽 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗦𝘆𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗺𝘀 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 

💛 𝗔 𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙
😢 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝗹𝗲𝘀
🗣️ 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗿𝘀:
🧑‍🚒 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗼𝗿 𝗙𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀

Today I’ll introduce the Core SELF.

💛 𝗔 𝗰𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗰𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙– SELF is the natural leader of your system, and psyche, your natural essence, is undamaged, needs no improvement, and is perfect as is. The SELF is the support and care you have always needed. It is the CORE YOU.

𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗺, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀, 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲, 𝗰𝗹𝗲𝗮𝗿, 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗼𝘂𝘀, 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻, 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗳𝘂𝗹; 𝗦𝗘𝗟𝗙 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗺 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻.

For years, even before IFS, I’ve drawn the Yellow Heart and used it as my logo because it reminds me to REMEMBER who I BE from an energetic and loving presence with myself.

I use the yellow/gold heart to help me remember that my essence is love and my true nature. The yellow heart also reminded me that my head and thinking parts, while brilliant, are not my core source being, that is in my heart. I can connect my head (or any of my parts) with my SELF-ENERGY by breathing into my heart.

When I came across IFS – and CORE SELF was represented – I KNEW that my yellow heart would expand to symbolize SELF Energy.

I often use this metaphor with my business owner clients – and if it resonates, I lead them in a meditation to see what “color” their SELF-heart is. Some are blue, one is red and gold, one is rainbow, and another is “fruity pebbles.” The clients KNOW what language and imagery help them identify & connect with this SELF-Energy.

If your SELF-Energy were color and energy – what color would your heart be 💛💚💙💜🤎🤍🧡❤️💞❤️‍🔥💖💟

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post 4 Elements that Make Up Our Inner Systems In the Internal Family Systems Framework appeared first on Allison Crow.

“All Parts Welcome”

Have you ever had the experience of making a decision, and in your thinking, you have a part that has one strong opinion about your decision, and then from another side of your brain, or maybe your body, a second part comes in totally doubting?

In all 2o years of my coaching practice, I’ve heard clients say, “A part of me this. . . and a part of me that . . .”
Bonnie J Weiss, LCSW, in her book
𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘈𝘯 𝘌𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘍𝘚 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴, says,

“IFS is. . . compassionate, inclusive, spiritual, powerfully healing, and deeply respectful of our inner life. IFS recognized that our psyches are made up of different parts…you can think of them as little people inside of us. Each part has its own perspective, feelings, memories, goals, and motivations.”

We are naturally of miraculous multiple minds. You may more commonly know these parts of you as things like:

• The Inner Critic
• Your Inner Child
• The Ego
• The Monkey Mind

All parts have had reasons for everything they do, they are motivated by “benevolent intent” at their core, but their strategies are protective devices that, at some point in your life, made sense but now are out of date. These strategies can often be uncomfortable, mean, and even destructive.

Recently the founder of IFS, Dr. Richard C Schwartz, Ph.D. published his IFS book 𝘕𝘰 𝘉𝘢𝘥 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴. Check it out if you want to learn more about this model I’ll be sharing with you over the next month.

Here is a painting I did – when I was very first introduced to this framework – My core SELF-energy and some of my parts. Add a whole lot of language/words, some visual images, and sensory waves, and that’s a good front porch image of my internal psyche.

💛 Allison Crow

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post A Part of Me this & A Part of Me that appeared first on Allison Crow.

Our internal worlds, our psyche -and our mind-body system can be complicated and overwhelming at times! Think of the things that seem to derail you and your current ways of “dealing with them.”

Maybe you are like me – super self-aware and read all the books, take lots of classes, do the meditations, and even after years of pursuing personal growth, you get exhausted, and in some deeper layers, there is still a painful internal tension that has never been relieved. I feel you; this was me…until I found Internal Family Systems.

The goal of IFS is to give you the tools to cultivate and embody SELF-energy and to relate lovingly from that place to all the parts within you. IFS can help build your #emotionalagility and help you release negative beliefs that hold you back in life.

IFS is not just information – it’s a practice and a way of BEING WITH all parts of yourself in both mind and body that most of us have not been taught. It is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual and helps you lead your inner and outer worlds from a place of grounded confidence, compassion, & creativity.

Follow and share this month as I give some #internalfamilysystems mojo every day this month.

💛, Allison Crow

#ifscoaching

• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post The Goals Of Internal Family Systems Coaching appeared first on Allison Crow.

IFS – Internal Family Systems – is a SELF Leadership tool I use in my coaching practice.   Here Six reasons I have IFS found helpful for me and my coaching clients:

• The IFS framework & lens align with ethical and non-violent coaching in that, the client is seen as resourceful, creative, & whole.
• All the wisdom the client needs can be found within the internal system.
• And generally, we humans haven’t been taught to relate to ourselves in a way that accesses that information. We’ve been taught to shame, bypass, suppress, and ignore parts deemed as “negative.”
• IFS is non-pathologizing, inclusive, compassionate, spiritual, and profoundly respectful, providing us with inner authority.
• All parts have benevolent intent, no matter how problematic the behavior, so we say “All Parts are Welcome” and use SELF-energy and the 8C’s to get to know the parts.
• We remember that parts are all just trying to do what they think is best for us; they are only using coping strategies that made sense at one time and are simply out of date now that we are adults.

I’ll be sharing more this month, specifically about the IFS model and how I use it in coaching professionals and entrepreneurs.

💛, Allison

PS: this model can also be used in a personal contemplative practice – no coach needed. 

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post 6 Reasons I Use Internal Family Systems With My Coaching Clients appeared first on Allison Crow.

“When I realized my pain came from wanting to be liked, I began to love myself. When I realised my pain came from wanting to be acknowledged, I started to see who I really was…”

This poem by Tanya Markul is a beautiful expression of the work we do in IFS and IFS coaching. We learn to self-lead, to self-regulate, and what it means to truly self-love.

Big love for you and all parts of you.

 

Your favorite life coach,

Allison

(pink flower or pink heart on any of my posts represents – be soft with the hard).

The post Tanya Markul Poem That Says So Much appeared first on Allison Crow.

 

Episode 203 – The Practice of Connection over Control

Another road riff episode!

It’s Sunday morning, 8:23 am as I record this and I’m heading out to my therapeutic horseback riding lessons. After a difficult week, I’ve got some insights and lessons settling into my bones.  There might be a few tears! 

Y’all know everything has an analogy, right?
It’s not even an analogy, life just repeats itself in so many patterns and I see and experience the patterns and love sharing these connections with you – so that we can all SELF-connect a bit more deeply in our lives. (PS…seeing and making connections is an ADHD thing). 

Today’s episode topic is control or connection and the lessons the horses and life are teaching me.

The skills of connection over control and protection are new for many of us and they require compassionate practice. 

Time on task gives us the experience of moving from controlling a situation to connecting and moving through it.
It takes us from trying to do something to becoming one with doing something.  I hope you enjoy the episode – from my tender heart to yours. 

Love,

Allison Crow

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Elizabeth Gilbert: Creative Living Beyond Fear

• Website and things to see and read
• 1:1 Coaching 
• Book you will love: Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human 

The post The Practice of Connection over Control appeared first on Allison Crow.