Nourishing Practices - Habits Archives - Allison Crow

Take Time to Look (& Listen)

allisoncrow — Wed, 21 May 2025 15:32:36 +0000

The last thing I want to do when life feels SLOW is slow down even more. Many months ago, I came across this painting by Sarah Bamford Seidelmann. It landed in my feed, and I instantly purchased a wood print from her. It has been over my left shoulder, helping me remember who I am, since I unpacked it.

“Take time to look,” said Georgia O’Keeffe. My own brain also added, “Take time to listen.”

The impossible standards conditioned into my brain expected insight and direction in a flash. My soul knows better, but that did not stop so many parts of me from being irritated, frustrated, self-blaming & shaming, and even afraid.

The vision, the next, the path… has been right here all along in dozens of tiny puzzle pieces. Thirty years ago, soul seeds were planted when I discovered the work of Thomas Moore in a Boulder, Colorado bookstore.

I KNEW.
I’ve always known, and of course, like many of us do, I’ve been distracted in the living of life, in the unbecoming of my training, and in the gaining of wisdom that only experience can bring. Of course, this had to wait until my 3rd Act.

It’s all here.
No big flash today, just stepping forward into the re-enchantment of everyday life from a grounded, weathered, and strangely confident place.

I’ve always known and now it’s time to harvest what has been reblooming all along.

“The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life” gave me permission to have a diverse portfolio of interests and expertise from my early 20s. A scholar, teacher, counselor, psychologist, spiritual student, poet, artist, writer, another kind of mother, and tender of souls in life and work.
“The Education of the Hear t” and “Elemental Self.” (All by Thomas More and all on my shelf for 25-30 years).

My own company, Soul-Full Living, LLC – although my business has evolved over the years, SOUL-FULL remains the guiding path. SELF connection and trust amidst an enticing and distracting world are still the fuel.

The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope, and my own book Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human.

I could list 132 more puzzle pieces that have come together to undoubtedly show me that my mission is in moments, not in moonshots or impact.

In a world of volatility, uncertainty, and complexity, being connected to self, source, and the present moment matters. Intentional living, community, and expression of creativity, poetry, nature, caring conversations, and everyday enchantment – this is the world I am committed to creating.

Take time to look. Take time to listen. Trust yourself. Let it take time.

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Midlife Can Cause Your Confidence to Wobble: Here’s Why and What to Do About It

allisoncrow — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 19:06:38 +0000

Feeling Like You’ve Lost Your Confidence in Midlife It can be discombobulating. Here’s Why—and What to Do About It.

It’s not uncommon to feel a loss of confidence, especially during times of transition, change, or stress.

What we call “confidence” in the past was often rooted in external validation or 💛a sense of control over familiar circumstances. When life shifts—whether through age, relationships, career changes, or personal growth—it can feel like that foundation crumbles, leaving us questioning ourselves.

Here’s why this might be happening and some steps to start reconnecting with your confidence:

What Happened?

External Confidence Was Shaken: Confidence often stems from skills, roles, or identities that feel secure. If those shift—like your job changing, kids leaving home, or your body aging—it’s natural to feel unsteady.
Internal Growth Can Be Unsettling: Personal growth often brings self-awareness. You might notice patterns, like people-pleasing or perfectionism, that kept you going but were never sustainable. Letting go of those coping mechanisms can feel like losing your “edge.”
Midlife Health or Neurodivergence May Amplify Self-Doubt: Shifts in hormones, energy, or brain patterns (like ADHD or Autism traits) can make you feel disconnected from the way you used to operate.
Societal Pressure: There’s often pressure to “have it all figured out” at this stage of life. Feeling unsure can lead to self-doubt, especially if you compare yourself to others.

Here are some of the ways to rebuild self-confidence from the inside out in midlife:

💛True confidence comes from self-trust, not performing or pleasing. Begin to ask: What do I value What feels right for me now?
💛Practice honoring small inner nudges—this builds trust in yourself.
💛Lean Into Curiosity, Not Perfection: You don’t have to “get it all back.” Instead, ask: What feels intriguing, energizing, or joyful Confidence grows when you allow yourself to experiment and learn without harsh judgment.
💛Build Body Confidence Through Regulation: Confidence often starts in the body. Try grounding practices like walking, dancing, or slow breathing to bring calm and connection back into your physical self.
💛Tend to Self-Compassion: Talk to yourself the way you would a friend who’s lost their footing. Remind yourself that feeling uncertain is part of being human, not a sign of failure.
💛 Reconnect With Purpose: Ask: What feels meaningful What small actions can I take today to move toward that Confidence grows when we align our actions with what matters most.
💛 Limit Comparisons: Your path is unique. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. Focus on your growth and values instead.

This stage of life isn’t about “getting back” to who you used to be—it’s about embracing the opportunity to become someone even more grounded, wise, and authentic. Confidence will come naturally as you build self-trust and honor your evolving self.

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On Grief – From The Archives

allisoncrow — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 16:23:04 +0000

This was in my Facebook memories today – and I thought it would be nice here on my own home turf.

From June 18, 2021

Good morning.

Yesterday was heavy. And full of grief. Grief is the one I really want to avoid…. I found myself edging around the deep pit. You know, the painful, sharp black hole of grief- when it hits the center of your heart and swallows it up.

I feel so different from the woman I was when I was younger—not just a child but a young woman…. Quietly, I’ve been asking myself, “When did I change When did I shut off that part of me?”

Last night, as I wept quietly in bed, cuddled up with Rocky Potato and Bill—neither of whom knew I was crying…. I remembered a few moments and people. Those visual and visceral memories…

People who hurt me so profoundly for leaving. One was my ex-husband. He left at 4 pm on a random Wednesday. He said he didn’t want to be married anymore. No reason, no lover…. Just unchoosing me. The ‘almost’ ultimate rejection.

Honestly, it broke me. It broke all of the dreams of a family, children, and lifelong love I’d had for myself as a young woman. The grief I felt that day with my back slumped next to the door he left through…. The physical pain of grief. Ugh. I feel glimpses of it, and I want to sleep forever just to not feel it. Loss triggers it, and it all comes rushing back.

All the losses. The leavers. And the LOVES….losses that never unchose me- they just died. Hank. Lulu. Rafa.

After my ex left- I began clumsily choosing myself. The ultimate rejection is me rejecting me… and I began to find a way to choose me…

That rejection, just like all the others, made way for miracles. But that nuance fucks with me. Yes. I feel better and love the life that I created and the path that has unfolded- completely. And I keep choosing to open when it hurts. To explore the places where I push away intimacy and connection because that fear is so embedded in my system.

I keep opening. And it doesn’t erase the pain of grief.

Both/and again.

Rocky is certainly dying. He’ll tell us when it’s time to let him go—- and for now, the loss hits that deep part, and it just hurts. It hurts because I love him so much. And it hurts because it reminds me that I have soooo much loss ahead of me.

Time ticks forward and loss paves much of the path ahead. Bill and I have discussed how he lost his dad unexpectedly- before we met. Someday, we will hold each other in grief- his mom, my parents, our siblings. The anticipatory grief.

Strangely- at 21, the anticipatory grief of my parents dying someday- put me in my first therapist’s office… and led me to the books that were early seeds of my glorious soul path of doing and providing space for deep inner work with my clients.

ALWAYS – the pain is only so much because the love is even greater. The deep goodness is richer than even the searing, breath-stealing pain.

And so I breathe… and put down the device on which I’m typing. It’s time to walk the dogs I love so much.

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Scribble Days are More Than Good Enough

allisoncrow — Fri, 27 Oct 2023 15:07:27 +0000

Despite what the gurus and social feeds suggest, it can be pretty scribbly to do the nurturing practices that support us. Some days it IS easy – and just know that if some days, it feels more like this photo – you are not alone.

It is normal to NOT want to move your body, or do your creative things, or take the extra steps of genuine

ly compassionate care when you are down. And down is not a moral failure.
Down is not a moral failure.
Down is not a moral failure.
Down is not a moral failure.

Sometimes is biological, or chemical, or circumstantial, or just time to rest more than your brain thinks is necessary.

I MADE myself walk today. More often than not, I’ve dragged myself to my creative practice a la War of Art.
Cheers and love to any of my fellow humans in a scribble season.

#nurturingpractices #walkeveryday #createdaily #restoften #warofart #humaning #selfcompassionjourney

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Emotions, ADHD & Motivation – A Convergence of Ideas

Elyse Rich — Sun, 30 Jul 2023 22:50:02 +0000

Emotions, ADHD & Motivation – A Convergence of Ideas

Hi Y’all!

I’ve been meaning to do an ADHD podcast for over a year and I saw this quote today by Tami Simon from Sounds True,

“Sometimes only the answer is found through living life.”

When I give myself the time and space to live life, the connections reveal themselves. And unmixing my internalized-for-51-years identity as it overlaps with ADHD has been a bit of a rumble for me lately.

While not solely about ADHD, I have had some recent insights that really landed as I continue on my learning and practicing of IFS, some deeper study of the Enneagram (because those dang test never tell me the same number). This episode is a grand convergence of ideas connecting emotions, ADHD, and motivation–seen from a deeper than usual lens.

Love,

Allison

The Enneagram Insights I’ve gained have been from listening to Suzanne Stabile’s podcast, The Enneagram Journey, and reading her book The Path Between Us.
I’m also reading Sari Solden’s Book (the revised and expanded version) Women With Attention Deficit Disorder Embrace Your Differences and Transform Your Life

____________

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

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Heather Doyle Frasier: The Practice of Compassionate Writing

Elyse Rich — Wed, 26 Jul 2023 20:46:25 +0000

Episode 204 Heather Doyle Frasier: The Practice of Compassionate Writing

Writer, Coach, Renaissance Woman, Lover of Books
Publisher of Compassionate Mind Collaborative and a singer.

After having worked in the traditional publishing industry as a development editor,
Heather saw the humanity missing from the industry.

Meet my book coach, publisher, and friend.

Writing is such a vulnerable raw experience.
Even when you feel like you have this covered something is going to come up during the process that is difficult and challenging.

Merging her industry experience with coaching based in Compassionate Mind Training,
Heather creates a space and a loving mandate in her own publishing company.

Love,

Allison

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Heather’s Info:

Website Home: https://www.cmcollab.com/

Offerings for writing and publishing https://www.cmcollab.com/writing-your-book

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/compassionatewriter

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cmcollaborative

Get a copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

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The Practice of Connection over Control

Elyse Rich — Mon, 10 Jul 2023 13:54:57 +0000

Episode 203 – The Practice of Connection over Control

Another road riff episode!

It’s Sunday morning, 8:23 am as I record this and I’m heading out to my therapeutic horseback riding lessons. After a difficult week, I’ve got some insights and lessons settling into my bones. There might be a few tears!

Y’all know everything has an analogy, right?
It’s not even an analogy, life just repeats itself in so many patterns and I see and experience the patterns and love sharing these connections with you – so that we can all SELF-connect a bit more deeply in our lives. (PS…seeing and making connections is an ADHD thing).

Today’s episode topic is control or connection and the lessons the horses and life are teaching me.

The skills of connection over control and protection are new for many of us and they require compassionate practice.

Time on task gives us the experience of moving from controlling a situation to connecting and moving through it.
It takes us from trying to do something to becoming one with doing something. I hope you enjoy the episode – from my tender heart to yours.

Love,

Allison Crow

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Elizabeth Gilbert: Creative Living Beyond Fear

Website and things to see and read
1:1 Coaching
Book you will love: Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

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In a Romantic Relationship with My Desk Why Yes

allisoncrow — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:56:06 +0000

She’s lived in every home I’ve owned and briefly been loaned to each of my husbands as I experimented with other working spaces (does anyone remember my haunted antique lawyer d

esk?). She is back in my space, my studio, my office, and deeply in my heart at this moment.

Fall in love – like real love, be in a relationship with a block of wood and two clunky iron thingys that hold the wood for a desk?

Completely and utterly.

This morning she is strewn with remnants of my pencil case carried to the Elizabeth Gilbert Rob Bell thing in the woods of the Hudson Valley in NY. Three lip glosses claim their parallel space between the pens and paint brushes – all beloved and daily used tools of my creativity.

How do I know I’ve fallen in love with this inanimate – but is she really an inanimate object EVERY time I sit here, my whole body feels an openness and clear-like-fresh-spring-water LOVE. We’ve built this over time. My trust, once given freely from immaturity, now takes time to build, and this desk and I have some serious time on task BECOMING together. Tears well up and let me know I am alive and I feel. Maybe it’s the menopause, but I’m pretty sure it is the love and life and work and creation this desk, and I have shared.

Today she holds my book stacks and a freshly lit “Ancient Tome” candle made by my former client, Michelle.

Yesterday, she held me as I went super deep on 3 different coaching calls that I truly felt helped my clients. New rosemary mint hair oil to soothe my menopausal itchy scalp, 4 different eyeglass cleaners, and all the computers and technologies that

allow me to share my heart, show my work, and connect with you from the calm safety of my own home. How could I not be in love This desk and I have stories to tell.

And so we will.

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To Feel is Human

allisoncrow — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 16:07:13 +0000

Because you are human, you feel. It’s science. It’s biology.

Because you live in society, you’ve been brainwashed and conditioned to make (especially uncomfortable) emotions wrong and definitely not trustworthy.

Antonio R. Damasio, M.D., Ph.D., writes:

“Emotion is an adaptive response, part of the vital process of normal reasoning and decision-making. It is one of the highest levels of bioregulation for the human organism and has an enormous influence on the maintenance of our homeostatic balance and thus of our well-being. Last but not least, emotion is critical to learning and memory.”

What if you could learn new ways of being with strong and difficult emotions?

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You Forget. It’s Not Your Fault & Here is What to do About it.

allisoncrow — Wed, 07 Jun 2023 14:53:02 +0000

Because you are human, because you live in a society whose systems are set up to make you forget – remembering can be your most vital practice.

Seriously, you aren’t broken; you’ve done nothing wrong – our systems literally are built on you out-sourcing your self-trust and remembering. When you forget, you give away power and buy stuff you don’t need without thinking. (I love buying stuff I don’t need – with clear intention).

Because you are engaged in life and work and smart as fuck, your mind and mental managers like to move fast through your ideas. Sometimes they get congested and confused. That’s normal.

If you knew that you would regularly – as in super often – FORGET who you BE What ritual could you set up so that you REMEMBER who you are?

. . .Because from that place, everything works with more lube. Flow has space to flow from the remembering.

And remembering doesn’t just happen. That’s why you suffer. We have to cultivate it.

You are not alone, dear human. Even though happy, and excited, and clear, I could feel a sense of forgetting when I sat down at the desk today – and my pre-planned ritual of journaling and writing with a SELF-ENERGY focus – brought me back to remembering. I won’t share the top half of that page quite yet (maybe someday -as you know, I’m pretty unfiltered)…but where I ended up, because of the daily practice, was in the remembering, and now I am able, from my heart to be here for you, and to gently take the next steps of my day.

Love, Your Favorite Life Coach.

Allison

I hope you remember.

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