It’s not uncommon to feel a loss of confidence, especially during times of transition, change, or stress.

What we call “confidence” in the past was often rooted in external validation or 💛a sense of control over familiar circumstances. When life shifts—whether through age, relationships, career changes, or personal growth—it can feel like that foundation crumbles, leaving us questioning ourselves.

Here’s why this might be happening and some steps to start reconnecting with your confidence:

What Happened?

• External Confidence Was Shaken: Confidence often stems from skills, roles, or identities that feel secure. If those shift—like your job changing, kids leaving home, or your body aging—it’s natural to feel unsteady.
• Internal Growth Can Be Unsettling: Personal growth often brings self-awareness. You might notice patterns, like people-pleasing or perfectionism, that kept you going but were never sustainable. Letting go of those coping mechanisms can feel like losing your “edge.”
• Midlife Health or Neurodivergence May Amplify Self-Doubt: Shifts in hormones, energy, or brain patterns (like ADHD or Autism traits) can make you feel disconnected from the way you used to operate.
• Societal Pressure: There’s often pressure to “have it all figured out” at this stage of life. Feeling unsure can lead to self-doubt, especially if you compare yourself to others.

Here are some of the ways to rebuild self-confidence from the inside out in midlife:

• 💛True confidence comes from self-trust, not performing or pleasing. Begin to ask: What do I value What feels right for me now?
• 💛Practice honoring small inner nudges—this builds trust in yourself.
• 💛Lean Into Curiosity, Not Perfection: You don’t have to “get it all back.” Instead, ask: What feels intriguing, energizing, or joyful Confidence grows when you allow yourself to experiment and learn without harsh judgment.
• 💛Build Body Confidence Through Regulation: Confidence often starts in the body. Try grounding practices like walking, dancing, or slow breathing to bring calm and connection back into your physical self.
• 💛Tend to Self-Compassion: Talk to yourself the way you would a friend who’s lost their footing. Remind yourself that feeling uncertain is part of being human, not a sign of failure.
• 💛 Reconnect With Purpose: Ask: What feels meaningful What small actions can I take today to move toward that Confidence grows when we align our actions with what matters most.
• 💛 Limit Comparisons: Your path is unique. Comparing yourself to others is like comparing apples to oranges. Focus on your growth and values instead.

This stage of life isn’t about “getting back” to who you used to be—it’s about embracing the opportunity to become someone even more grounded, wise, and authentic. Confidence will come naturally as you build self-trust and honor your evolving self.

The post Midlife Can Cause Your Confidence to Wobble: Here’s Why and What to Do About It appeared first on Allison Crow.

Healing and Hope after Hard Journies with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Navigating Life’s Challenges: A Conversation with Colette Nies Von Hanna

Join me for a conversation with long-time family friend Colette Nies Von Hanna, who shares her journey and insights on being human. Colette, an organic gardener, socio-ecological feminist theologian, and energy researcher from New Braunfels, Texas, discusses the interconnection of ecological trauma and personal experiences. She reflects on her career shifts, including a political run, her academic pursuits, and community gardening efforts involving personal, professional, and spiritual growth. Colette shares her struggle with cancel culture, dealing with political and personal attacks, and the importance of self-awareness in activism and community involvement. She emphasizes the importance of resilience, authenticity, and vision despite facing extreme adversity and the challenges of social expectations.

Colette Nies Von Hanna, MSSW, MDIV

Activist, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian, Energy Researcher, Social Worker, Chaplain, 3rd Gen Organic Gardener, Aspiring Urban Farmer, Adoptive Mom, River-Goer, Rabble-Rouser, Bleeding Heart, who loves strong coffee and long naps.

The quote mentioned from my friend Justin’s LinkedIn page:  

“To the people who are emotionally sensitive, who care so much about everything no matter how hard they try not to, who notice even the smallest things and take everything to the heart, the struggle is valid. I hope you get surrounded with people who are kind enough to understand you and even if you can’t expect everyone to adjust for you, I hope you get extra patience from this world.”

— Kylie Yzobelle

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

01:08 Colette’s Background and Work

03:48 Personal and Professional Challenges

07:02 Running for Office and Facing Adversity

09:27 Navigating Political, Academic, and Spiritual Struggles

13:01 Reflections on Pain, Privilege, and Growth

25:14 Systemic Issues and Personal Resilience

29:46 The Weight of Awareness

30:38 Embracing Sadness and Hope

32:14 Understanding Bypassing

33:25 Facing Trauma and Healing

36:21 The Journey from Head to Heart

37:35 Learning to Feel and Express Emotions

48:13 Building a SELF-Centered Legacy

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

The post Healing & Finding Hope After the Hard: Colette Nies Von Hanna, Socio-Ecological Feminist Theologian appeared first on Allison Crow.

Today is one of those days when all the dots connect, and I can see how the past has led me to now. My now is ordinary; there is no monumental milestone or achievement. There is nothing to brag about, nothing you will admire as fabulous.

Unlearning isn’t a popular or particularly pleasing journey. It’s often heavy and certainly not inspirational low-hanging fruit to sell in a coaching program. “I can help you make more money.”

If I were really brave, I would share more of my unlearning with you out loud, but I am still sensitive to what you think about me.

Still.

Most of all, if I weren’t afraid of being so “negative.” There’s some programming and “not truth.”

Do you think nature says, “I shouldn’t be so negative#8221; or even God? Buahahahah. Nope.

We can not escape life’s difficulties even if we do everything we can to escape them. But we can learn to access our own SELFSOUL to be with ourselves and others in the difficulties (and the delights).

Unlearning IS a valid path to SELFSOUL trust. I added SOUL because the SELF-TRUST I am teaching in my work, and living in my life is trust in the INFINITE SOUL within you. The GOD inside of you that you are.

It was always calling, even from way back in 3rd grade, when at HP Elementary, I was compelled to say a prayer in chapel because I was tired of hearing the shame, fire, and brimstone messages about avoiding hell. My little 3rd-grade SOUL knew back then that it was CONNECTION and relationship, not control. And here we are at 52—seeing it all led me to this ordinary moment—where it is more than a theory; it just is.

Alli, you asked for a SOUL-full life for many years, and you’ve been living it all along and are living it here in this moment. You found it by not trying to escape your humanity but by exploring it all the way to the wild edges.

The post UNLEARNING (In my journal) appeared first on Allison Crow.

Welcome back! In today’s episode, I delve into lessons I’ve learned from one of my favorite teachers and approaches ~ Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry. 

I explore his method as a facilitator, the importance of gaining consent, his views on addiction as attempts to solve suffering, and authenticity versus attachment. Reflecting on his teachings, I discuss the impact of the “still-face experiment” and how connection to self is crucial in our healing journeys. I’ll also share insights on over-functioning as a coping mechanism and Gabor’s perspective on thriving in a sick world. Join me as we reconnect with ourselves and each other.

00:00 Introduction to Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry

00:45 Facilitation Techniques and Interruptions

02:37 The Role of Consent in Facilitation

03:07 Understanding Addiction and Suffering

06:56 The Still Face Experiment

10:23 Authenticity vs. Attachment

18:01 Overfunctioning and Coping Mechanisms

20:46 The Impact of a Sick World on Emotional Health

22:45 Present Moment Awareness and Self-Connection

The Still Face Experiment: https://youtu.be/YTTSXc6sARg?si=9a1-oDJfE69BESL-

Gabor Maté Website: https://drgabormate.com/

The Myth Of Normal: https://amzn.to/3zoVdmc

Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

https://www.tiktok.com/@allison_crow

https://www.instagram.com/allison_crow/

https://www.facebook.com/wildesgesofbeinghuman

The post Lessons Learned from Gabor Mate & Compassionate Inquiry appeared first on Allison Crow.

There is an OBVIOUS inflamed and injured nervous system state – with an obvious acute injury. We can see and soften when the injury is obvious. Oh wow!! Your arm got sliced off. That’s gonna take some time to heal- and we can conjure compassion for the obvious wound.

 

MANY of the people I come to work with have a chronically inflamed and overstimulated nervous system. Years of inner wounds and pain build up. Imagine a really severe sunburn from the inside that you can’t see. Even the slightest touch or poke can cause seemingly extreme reactions and outbursts- and then, because we have an extreme reaction that doesn’t seem to make sense- we pile on the self-shame – adding to the injury.

 

Burns take time to heal.

 

There is NO cognitive solution when our insides are severely raw from decades of coping mechanisms that look good on the outside but are wound on the inside.

Soft, space, slow, decompression, and regulation—this is what needs to happen, but we have overstimulating everyday life to attend to. It’s not easy. Our coping skills are applauded and rewarded—there is no 12-step program or rehab for them. So we have to, in our injured and inflamed state, find just a tiny anchor of somatic respite and softness and nurture that as often as we can.

 

Slow.

Soft.

Space.

 

Even the tiniest bit to start.

 

And having a soft person to support you helps tremendously.

 

It can take time. It’s not done in an insight. It’s done in the safety built over time.

 

The world can be hard… even the everyday subtleties…. Can wear us thin.

 

I’ve got you.

We won’t be in this phase forever. The new ways of being will come- but for now- slow and soft is fast.

The post We Can’t Learn When We Are In A Reactive State appeared first on Allison Crow.

The more I meet myself (and my parts), the less I want to punch other people in the face.

 

Most of us are conditioned to despise, fear, and suppress “negative emotions.” I don’t believe that any emotions are negative. I believe they have wisdom and information for us. I believe there are cognitive and body skills we can learn to understand and lead our emotions instead of them leading us.

 

There will be no more erupting and no more pressing down (depression). Emotional self-leadership and the language of emotions can be learned and practiced.

Most people are taught that emotions don’t belong at work. Mental health, anxiety, & stress much What if these parts could be softened and compassionately led into relaxing & sharing their wisdom, leading to calm and creative confidence and courage?

 

This is the advanced personal development I do with business owners, executives, and leaders .  If you would like to explore coaching, find out more here: /coachingwallison/

 

I also wrote about this in my book #Unarmored –Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

#lifecoachingforentrepreneurs #ifscoaching #leadershipdevelopment #leadershipcoaching

The post Punching People In The Face appeared first on Allison Crow.

Allison shares her personal journey of reinventing herself and her business,
discussing her struggles, coping mechanisms, and the need for genuine connections.

She emphasizes the importance of understanding one’s needs and cycles, challenging toxic individualism,
and finding what works authentically for oneself in business and life.

Key Topics and Timestamps

00:00 Welcome to the Live Session: Embracing Spring and Personal Insights

00:45 Journey Through Deep Self-Care and Spiritual Awakening

02:51 Understanding Coping Mechanisms and Embracing Humaness

04:34 The Transformation: From Personal Struggles to Spiritual Reintegration

07:57 Rebuilding Business and Personal Growth Amidst Challenges

12:02 Embracing Prosperity and Connection: A New Approach to Business

18:35 Breaking Free from Conventional Rules: Authentic Content Creation

20:39 Navigating the Achievement Phase: Letting Go of Old Paradigms

22:09 The One-to-Many Model and Its Limitations

23:54 Unlocking the Power of Personal Reinvention

24:37 Navigating Business with Personalized Strategies

26:20 Embracing Individuality in Business and Life

30:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Personal Development Myths

36:17 Understanding Variance and Supporting Personal Ebbs and Flows

42:14 Rebloom: Embracing Sovereignty and Spring Renewal

Mentioned In The Episode: 

The Post about Poker and Variation from my colleague, Mike Harris 

The Self-Lead Humans in Business Facebook Group 

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Insights From Re-Blooming My Business appeared first on Allison Crow.

It’s Road Riff time – Ease from the Inside Out.

I’ve had some really interesting, unusual resistance around content creation
and I didn’t have an “episode,” but I did have a drive into town 

Stream of Consciousness with a Purpose and More at Ease

I want to be more at ease this year from the inside
It’s one of the core goals of how and who I want to be 

This riff is inspired by Gabor Mate, Authenticity & Internal Family Systems

Love, 

Allison

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post EASE From The Inside Out appeared first on Allison Crow.

I’m just going to allow myself to be imperfect in getting back into the routine

I love creating content for y’all 
I’ve always loved creating content for y’all
and I’ve had some procrastination parts come up lately

I had all these plans and was taking no action – Highly unusual for me. 

After a couple of weeks of this procrastination, I sat down to do my parts work practices as I normally do, and my shoulders were aching
and I decided to see if it was a part.

 I slowed down and connected with myself and my body.
Hello, shoulders. I see you.
Hello, tightness, stiffness and pain. I see you

What is it you want me to know?nbsp;

Enjoy this episode and a few of the deeper things I’ve learned from this thing called life over the last few months.

Love, 

Allison

Prefer Video Watch this episode on my YouTube Channel here:

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Procrastination or Parts: The Mind Fu&k of Starting Again appeared first on Allison Crow.

Hello Hello Humans!

I feel like a little kid getting back on a bicycle,
It’s been a couple of months since I podcasted. 

Bug Soup is the time during chrysalis when the caterpillar disintegrates and devolves 
and physically, materially turns into an gooey mess before it regenerates into the butterflies that bless us all. 

It’s a metaphor for a stage of creation and a stage of life.  

Who else is in and has been in Bug Soup?

I have been for quite some time. 

It feels like whack a mole and it is just life. 

I just want to acknowledge the humanity of seasons of Bug Soup no matter what causes them. 

Love, 

Allison

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

• Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
• Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
• Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
• Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

The post Bug Soup & Updates appeared first on Allison Crow.