Sacred Journeys Archives - Allison Crow

Take Time to Look (& Listen)

allisoncrow — Wed, 21 May 2025 15:32:36 +0000

The last thing I want to do when life feels SLOW is slow down even more. Many months ago, I came across this painting by Sarah Bamford Seidelmann. It landed in my feed, and I instantly purchased a wood print from her. It has been over my left shoulder, helping me remember who I am, since I unpacked it.

“Take time to look,” said Georgia O’Keeffe. My own brain also added, “Take time to listen.”

The impossible standards conditioned into my brain expected insight and direction in a flash. My soul knows better, but that did not stop so many parts of me from being irritated, frustrated, self-blaming & shaming, and even afraid.

The vision, the next, the path… has been right here all along in dozens of tiny puzzle pieces. Thirty years ago, soul seeds were planted when I discovered the work of Thomas Moore in a Boulder, Colorado bookstore.

I KNEW.
I’ve always known, and of course, like many of us do, I’ve been distracted in the living of life, in the unbecoming of my training, and in the gaining of wisdom that only experience can bring. Of course, this had to wait until my 3rd Act.

It’s all here.
No big flash today, just stepping forward into the re-enchantment of everyday life from a grounded, weathered, and strangely confident place.

I’ve always known and now it’s time to harvest what has been reblooming all along.

“The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life” gave me permission to have a diverse portfolio of interests and expertise from my early 20s. A scholar, teacher, counselor, psychologist, spiritual student, poet, artist, writer, another kind of mother, and tender of souls in life and work.
“The Education of the Hear t” and “Elemental Self.” (All by Thomas More and all on my shelf for 25-30 years).

My own company, Soul-Full Living, LLC – although my business has evolved over the years, SOUL-FULL remains the guiding path. SELF connection and trust amidst an enticing and distracting world are still the fuel.

The Great Work of Your Life by Stephen Cope, and my own book Unarmored: Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human.

I could list 132 more puzzle pieces that have come together to undoubtedly show me that my mission is in moments, not in moonshots or impact.

In a world of volatility, uncertainty, and complexity, being connected to self, source, and the present moment matters. Intentional living, community, and expression of creativity, poetry, nature, caring conversations, and everyday enchantment – this is the world I am committed to creating.

Take time to look. Take time to listen. Trust yourself. Let it take time.

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On Grief – From The Archives

allisoncrow — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 16:23:04 +0000

This was in my Facebook memories today – and I thought it would be nice here on my own home turf.

From June 18, 2021

Good morning.

Yesterday was heavy. And full of grief. Grief is the one I really want to avoid…. I found myself edging around the deep pit. You know, the painful, sharp black hole of grief- when it hits the center of your heart and swallows it up.

I feel so different from the woman I was when I was younger—not just a child but a young woman…. Quietly, I’ve been asking myself, “When did I change When did I shut off that part of me?”

Last night, as I wept quietly in bed, cuddled up with Rocky Potato and Bill—neither of whom knew I was crying…. I remembered a few moments and people. Those visual and visceral memories…

People who hurt me so profoundly for leaving. One was my ex-husband. He left at 4 pm on a random Wednesday. He said he didn’t want to be married anymore. No reason, no lover…. Just unchoosing me. The ‘almost’ ultimate rejection.

Honestly, it broke me. It broke all of the dreams of a family, children, and lifelong love I’d had for myself as a young woman. The grief I felt that day with my back slumped next to the door he left through…. The physical pain of grief. Ugh. I feel glimpses of it, and I want to sleep forever just to not feel it. Loss triggers it, and it all comes rushing back.

All the losses. The leavers. And the LOVES….losses that never unchose me- they just died. Hank. Lulu. Rafa.

After my ex left- I began clumsily choosing myself. The ultimate rejection is me rejecting me… and I began to find a way to choose me…

That rejection, just like all the others, made way for miracles. But that nuance fucks with me. Yes. I feel better and love the life that I created and the path that has unfolded- completely. And I keep choosing to open when it hurts. To explore the places where I push away intimacy and connection because that fear is so embedded in my system.

I keep opening. And it doesn’t erase the pain of grief.

Both/and again.

Rocky is certainly dying. He’ll tell us when it’s time to let him go—- and for now, the loss hits that deep part, and it just hurts. It hurts because I love him so much. And it hurts because it reminds me that I have soooo much loss ahead of me.

Time ticks forward and loss paves much of the path ahead. Bill and I have discussed how he lost his dad unexpectedly- before we met. Someday, we will hold each other in grief- his mom, my parents, our siblings. The anticipatory grief.

Strangely- at 21, the anticipatory grief of my parents dying someday- put me in my first therapist’s office… and led me to the books that were early seeds of my glorious soul path of doing and providing space for deep inner work with my clients.

ALWAYS – the pain is only so much because the love is even greater. The deep goodness is richer than even the searing, breath-stealing pain.

And so I breathe… and put down the device on which I’m typing. It’s time to walk the dogs I love so much.

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A Part of Me this & A Part of Me that

allisoncrow — Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:28:35 +0000

𝗔 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 & 𝗔 𝗣𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁

“All Parts Welcome”

Have you ever had the experience of making a decision, and in your thinking, you have a part that has one strong opinion about your decision, and then from another side of your brain, or maybe your body, a second part comes in totally doubting?

In all 2o years of my coaching practice, I’ve heard clients say, “A part of me this. . . and a part of me that . . .”
Bonnie J Weiss, LCSW, in her book
𝘚𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺 𝘞𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘣𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘈𝘯 𝘌𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘉𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘐𝘍𝘚 𝘗𝘳𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴, says,

“IFS is. . . compassionate, inclusive, spiritual, powerfully healing, and deeply respectful of our inner life. IFS recognized that our psyches are made up of different parts…you can think of them as little people inside of us. Each part has its own perspective, feelings, memories, goals, and motivations.”

We are naturally of miraculous multiple minds. You may more commonly know these parts of you as things like:

The Inner Critic
Your Inner Child
The Ego
The Monkey Mind

All parts have had reasons for everything they do, they are motivated by “benevolent intent” at their core, but their strategies are protective devices that, at some point in your life, made sense but now are out of date. These strategies can often be uncomfortable, mean, and even destructive.

Recently the founder of IFS, Dr. Richard C Schwartz, Ph.D. published his IFS book 𝘕𝘰 𝘉𝘢𝘥 𝘗𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴. Check it out if you want to learn more about this model I’ll be sharing with you over the next month.

Here is a painting I did – when I was very first introduced to this framework – My core SELF-energy and some of my parts. Add a whole lot of language/words, some visual images, and sensory waves, and that’s a good front porch image of my internal psyche.

💛 Allison Crow

Visit: Website: www.allisoncrow.com
Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview
Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

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Unwinding Direction into Wandering for a Season

allisoncrow — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 13:44:08 +0000

December 6th, Last year, my book was published. And that early morning, as I sat down at my desk, my husband asked, “What are you doing#8221;

“Going to writing practice.”

This had been my answer to his morning question every day for the previous few years – and had become an affectionate ritual for us.

“But you just published your book#8221; he said with perplexed eyes.

“It’s what I do; I write. I go to writing practice.”

It’s been almost a year since I didn’t have a BIG goal to light the way in writing practice. Some mornings my body wants an objective. My peers check in to the question “What are you working on today#8221; with things like:

“My manuscript”
“Chapter 7”
“An email to my client.”
“My dissertation”
“My prompt today is….”

. . .and there I am with my wandering writing. My answer is often, “I’m not sure; we’ll see where we end up.”

In a world that demands direction, I am wandering these days. I am unwinding my body and mind from the mandates of a specific way of being in life and (especially) business that no longer fits.

There are moments when the wandering delivers pure enchantment, and there are moments when panic sets in my body because I’m not forcing her in a goal-driven direction, even though I still have financial obligations to meet. I may be wandering, but I am in no way retired.

I have only an abrupt ending here because. . . I am wandering. The journey isn’t complete, so there is no summation or conclusion.

Here is a photo of me wandering Colorado in December 1995

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Dreaming in Spanish & Writing Your Story With Sara Alvarado

Elyse Rich — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 17:51:09 +0000

Dreaming in Spanish with Sara Alvarado (and writing your story).

Live, it’s Allison Crow and Sara Alvarado!

We are going to be talking about telling your story and Sara’s new book,
Dreaming In Spanish: An Unexpected Love Story in Puerto Vallarta.

I adored this book! And I really did start thinking in Spanish after reading it. It’s a story of healing, of unexpected and profound love. It’s a story of combining cultures and families, and so much more. I hope you will enjoy this conversation and I know you will love Sara’s book.

Love,

Allison

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Dreaming In Spanish: An Unexpected Love Story in Puerto Vallarta

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In a Romantic Relationship with My Desk Why Yes

allisoncrow — Wed, 28 Jun 2023 14:56:06 +0000

She’s lived in every home I’ve owned and briefly been loaned to each of my husbands as I experimented with other working spaces (does anyone remember my haunted antique lawyer d

esk?). She is back in my space, my studio, my office, and deeply in my heart at this moment.

Fall in love – like real love, be in a relationship with a block of wood and two clunky iron thingys that hold the wood for a desk?

Completely and utterly.

This morning she is strewn with remnants of my pencil case carried to the Elizabeth Gilbert Rob Bell thing in the woods of the Hudson Valley in NY. Three lip glosses claim their parallel space between the pens and paint brushes – all beloved and daily used tools of my creativity.

How do I know I’ve fallen in love with this inanimate – but is she really an inanimate object EVERY time I sit here, my whole body feels an openness and clear-like-fresh-spring-water LOVE. We’ve built this over time. My trust, once given freely from immaturity, now takes time to build, and this desk and I have some serious time on task BECOMING together. Tears well up and let me know I am alive and I feel. Maybe it’s the menopause, but I’m pretty sure it is the love and life and work and creation this desk, and I have shared.

Today she holds my book stacks and a freshly lit “Ancient Tome” candle made by my former client, Michelle.

Yesterday, she held me as I went super deep on 3 different coaching calls that I truly felt helped my clients. New rosemary mint hair oil to soothe my menopausal itchy scalp, 4 different eyeglass cleaners, and all the computers and technologies that

allow me to share my heart, show my work, and connect with you from the calm safety of my own home. How could I not be in love This desk and I have stories to tell.

And so we will.

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Allowing the Space for Heart Coherence

allisoncrow — Tue, 30 May 2023 14:14:06 +0000

Tone: deep contentment, mostly.

There’s an extra space this morning.

After the Soulies closing ceremony (my primary coaching work container over the last 7 years), and after deleting almost ALL of my old fb groups (one for every group program I’ve done since 2011),

I feel the void. Is that the right word?

Void = completely empty, so it’s not quite that, but I do feel the extra space. I sense my brain’s subtle compulsion to NEXT.

I am also in a space where I am able to see my “body of work” over the last 20 years – and longer. It’s a bit overwhelming, some of it embarrassing (to parts of me), and it’s exhaustive. Creating and earning have been so intertwined. My barking brain has the urge to solve the problem (that doesn’t exist).

I solve. Therefore I am?

Ah, the capitalism energy and systemic pressure of NEXTING.

I feel the extra space.

Next door, the 7 dogs are barking like crazy – a funny metaphor for my brain. Unlike my neighbors, I won’t keep my dogs cooped in the garage, but I do know how to engage and soothe my barking parts.

Amy Callahan sent me a lovely post about how horses, and just being near them help us to have a coherent heart.

“A coherent heart pattern is indicative of a system that can recover and adapt to stressful situations very efficiently. Many times, we just need to be in the presence of horses to feel a sense of well-being and peace.” –Superior Therapy LLC on Facebook.

This is my gentle direction.

Coherence. Congruence.

Clearing Completion.

Coherence. Congruence.

Space makes way for the Creativity. Practice makes way for the Creativity.

There are no big moves to make. Nothing to fill.

Heart Coherence.

So that I have a coherent heart and so that I spread that energy to those I come in contact with in any way (except my too many & neglected dogs neighbor – I’m not there yet).

, Allison

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Wild Edge Of Being Human: Musings on Grief.

allisoncrow — Thu, 12 Jan 2023 16:22:56 +0000

Grief does not feel like the wisest business strategy lately – Especially as a coach – A small protector part of me -influenced by “perfection only” past mentors, feels this deep obligation to be cheery and “positive.” (Those same mentors always “shoulded” that concise was imperative. Buahahah. This is not concise. NOTHING I do is concise).

I know that is just a part of me – a part that wants to be accepted and not rejected. I also know that humans need human leaders and public people who hold space and compassion for the wild edges of being human. This is the work I came to do in myself and for the world.

It’s a breeze to hold the pretty center – it’s another thing to lead and BE in the wild edges. Grief, my friends, is not in the shiny center; it is the definition of the wildest and most unpredictable of edges.

The grief of losing Leroy is the easiest of grief. I feel more familiar with some versions of this heartbreaking experience. Francis Weller speaks of the 5 Gates of Grief in his book The Wild Edge Of Sorrow(see image).

The Grief that is asking for my presence is the 4th Gate. Three recent moments helped me come to this awareness – gifts through connection with others (not with my head in a book of information but through relationships) have helped me SEE clearly.

The first was my ADHD diagnosis 11 months ago and how the symptoms have impacted me + and that I harshly judged and hated parts of me – incessantly trying to FIX these defaults for 49 years. It is wobbly holding those as ISness and considering a path forward where I create accessibility for myself instead of trying to fix something that isn’t broken, only different.

The 2nd was the ACA Adult Children of Alcoholics Bill of Rights, a beloved shared with me. Already coming into my own awareness of and recovering from people pleasing, over-functioning, over-achieving + boundaries – this document spelled out losses so clearly – in 20 distinct and familiar points. A gut punch…but also a re-set point. And so much grief in my body. My head already gets it, but my body is coming online and integrating, feeling, and releasing. And my thinking parts have a hay day with the discomfort.

The third was in a session with my new coach yesterday: I remembered the 18-year-old me – so full of hope and faith, innocence, and ignorance -and physically strong and athletic. Joyful because she didn’t know. She didn’t know because she was young and privileged, and protected. She had so many dreams and so much belief. She was sourced in religion and brainwashed in privilege and ableism. I felt both sorry for her and jealous. I have been beaten down by what has not happened that I had so much faith would in life and work. I’ve been timid around desire and goals. I’ve been too tired to want as I chopped wood and carried water in this last season of ailing parents, ailing dogs, other private family matters never mentioned here, and caring for my business, marriage, mental health, and heart attack.

As I compassionately sit with this – and allow myself to be held in the presence of this grief and validation- my body acclimates to the discomfort, and I remember that I am safe- struggling but not broken. And that it is just moments of struggle. It is not my I AMness.

And then hope comes back in. There is a way to have hope and faith. I don’t have to go back to being the 18-year-old (or any other version of my joyful-faith-filled selves), but I can cultivate the hope and faith, and strong body of the 51-year-old woman I am. This feels both exciting and crushing to be a beginner all over again.

If you read UNARMORED all the way to the end… you’ll have read the part where the HUMANness reconnects with the spark of Spiritual again, followed by a heart attack; that, for me, was a metaphor for restarting my heart with the electricity of SPIRIT.

That’s where I stand today.

Comfortable in my humanness, holding others in theirs, and now ready to build both my physical strength and my faith and prayer – in my own unique way. And ‘strong ankles”. I’ll share that story another day.

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I tossed an entire prayer book into the trash

allisoncrow — Mon, 19 Dec 2022 16:30:17 +0000

I just tossed an entire book into the recycle bin. So much for that prayerful meditation.

I opened a prayer book to a random page – and it landed on a prayer for “emotional distress.”

And the line that pissed me off was this:

“I know that to be disturbed by about one’s life and affairs, even for an instant, is not to trust the Divine Love that is gifted to me daily by God Source.”
.

Instant shame and using trust as a manipulation tool. Another subtle message of, “You are doing it wrong.”
.

To leave no room for discomfort or suffering is NOT LOVE.

💛 Let’s rewrite this:

I know that to be disturbed about one’s life and affairs – is so human. There truly are difficult experiences and seasons, and I know, Divine Love, that you hold me gently, tenderly, softly, even in difficult times. I know that you hold the pains I experience as lovingly as you hold my radiant joy. Thank you, God Source, for your presence in my life exactly as I am.

Shame induces performance and contrived behavior. Nothing pure – only manipulated and untrue. Compassion allows for rest and nervous system regulation, allowing the defeated spirit within to regenerate and eventually make space for genuine creativity.

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How did I do it Secrets to Making Your Dreams Happen.

allisoncrow — Thu, 01 Dec 2022 16:43:20 +0000

How Did I Do It?

Don’t let the photo fool you:

This was a big year for me. 3 MAJOR milestones accomplished.

In May, my pool was built- If you know me, this was my dream – not a family dream – so I agreed to make the money for it myself.

This week – The first week of December 2022 -I move from writer to published Author. I first had this dream crystallized in my heart at 23 – in Boulder, Colorado, when I came across Thomas Moore’s and Sark’s books.

Next week I finish L1 training in IFS – this gives me one technical “credential,” but what I’m really proud of speaks to HOW I did ALL of these things:

I invested in myself – and boy, if it were as easy as investing cash- wouldn’t that have been fun And yes, I’ve been my own “angel investor” for years. (I will acknowledge the literally inherited privilege of being white and educated and a small trust fund from my grandfather that helped me invest in my first home and pay off some of my school debt – these gifts were MONUMENTAL support). For many years, honestly, I debted – I borrowed and played a money shell game with myself. I stopped debiting to live or work (other than my home) in 2017.

Yes, I have invested in myself and my business – things that cost money: It’s almost obscene how much I spend on personal and professional and personal development and have for years:

Coaching, reading, classes, learning, therapy, art supplies, black writing pens and journals, and more coaching – business coaching, money coaching, book coaching, profit first coaching, money coaching, creative coaching, IFS coaching, sales coaching – that’s what I can think of off-hand.

I’ve invested in implementation support: Podcasting producer who also emotionally supports my creative mojo and flow – not only does she create great sound – she gets the ebb and flow of creativity and believes in me. I invest in admin support, and off and on over the years, I’ve experimented with marketing support. And, of course, I invest in the systems and tech required to run my business – so many subscriptions and little expenses here and there that add up.

Most of these expenses have paid off – some have been monumental failures – expensive lessons.

I don’t spend lots of money on material luxuries, clothes, hair, lashes, nails – I do get good skincare and cheap makeup from the grocery store – but I don’t give a rat’s ass about a new car or highlights anymore.

But here is how I have really invested in myself even more than MONEY: TIME ON TASK. All the coaching and learning without implementation is just entertainment. I am a grand experimenter – and if YOU want to make your dreams come true, then be a daily experimenter – Time on task, over and over.

What I really invest in is Time on task:

Time spent doing my nourishing habits (reading, writing, moving my body, journaling, parts work, drinking water, etc.).

Time spent sharing my heart and showing my work – thinking and doing things that hopefully serve my audience and clients.

Time Practicing my skills in real-time – not waiting until things are perfect. (The hours – and I mean HOURS I spent coaching my ass off and doing IFS as a coach, client and student have been more effective than any class or training).

Time resting and recovering and NOT working.

Time learning how to allocate and track my money. This year I’m taking my books back from my bookkeeper to master the daily nuances of my finances- more Time spent ahead).

Time serving clients, Time making offers.

Time doing the learning and then DOING what I learn.

Time writing – every single day. Making it just what I do.

Time healing my nervous system

Time doing boring stuff – no one sees over and over and over and over.

and, yes, time-wasting (playing dumb video games, watching tv, trolling on Twitter, to name a few). Time to recover from all the time I invest doing Time on task stuff.

You don’t have to bet on yourself the exact ways I do. You don’t have to invest in yourself the way I do. But Oprah isn’t coming. Life isn’t the “Field of Dreams – where if you build it, they will come.

You do have to choose your actions, attitude, and investments – bet on yourself. No one else’s bet will be stronger, and one day you will look up and see your long tail of accomplishments and be deeply proud. If you want that for you, I want that for you – but wanting isn’t enough. So put the Time on task.

Love, Allison

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