Welcome back! In today’s episode, I delve into lessons I’ve learned from one of my favorite teachers and approaches ~ Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry. 

I explore his method as a facilitator, the importance of gaining consent, his views on addiction as attempts to solve suffering, and authenticity versus attachment. Reflecting on his teachings, I discuss the impact of the “still-face experiment” and how connection to self is crucial in our healing journeys. I’ll also share insights on over-functioning as a coping mechanism and Gabor’s perspective on thriving in a sick world. Join me as we reconnect with ourselves and each other.

00:00 Introduction to Gabor Maté and Compassionate Inquiry

00:45 Facilitation Techniques and Interruptions

02:37 The Role of Consent in Facilitation

03:07 Understanding Addiction and Suffering

06:56 The Still Face Experiment

10:23 Authenticity vs. Attachment

18:01 Overfunctioning and Coping Mechanisms

20:46 The Impact of a Sick World on Emotional Health

22:45 Present Moment Awareness and Self-Connection

The Still Face Experiment: https://youtu.be/YTTSXc6sARg?si=9a1-oDJfE69BESL-

Gabor Maté Website: https://drgabormate.com/

The Myth Of Normal: https://amzn.to/3zoVdmc

Compassionate Inquiry: https://compassionateinquiry.com/

* Visit: Website: /

* Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison /coachingwallison/

* Internal Family Systems Coaching and a brief IFS Model Overview /ifs/

* Get your copy of UNARMORED: Finding Home in the Wild Edge of Being Human

/unarmoredthebook/

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Scripture, in the traditional sense, only ever oppressed me, but writing every single day, exploring the words in my own being and putting them on paper is what set me free.

The post My Words are a Lamp and a Light appeared first on Allison Crow.

Welcome!

Recently I made a giant decision in my business AND I’ve been known to make giant decisions.
The last time was in 2011 and the time before that was in 2009.

I do remember the last two times and I remember the emotional difficulty of the last two times.

No, I’m not freaking out and the reason I’m not freaking out,

I know how to manage my scared parts so much better than the last time I made a big decision like this,
I live below my means

AND

I can do this because I have the skills.

Love,

Allison

The post Reinvention: Tools for the Pivot & Success appeared first on Allison Crow.

 

Now I only wonder who will be at my bedside when I cross over to the other side.

 

What has life entrusted to you?

 

Photo: Marmaduke & Allison 1972

The post Another Kind Of Mother appeared first on Allison Crow.

Last fall, I had the opportunity to take my CliftonStrengths assessment again.

While I had my previous results, I KNEW things would show up differently because I AM DIFFERENT.

I am different from the young, eager woman striving for success and approval in 2010. I’m more grounded and clear. I’ve done some pretty intense releasing and healing of my oldest traumas and fears, and I had a dang heart attack. I’m DIFFERENT. Even my body is different.

My old results overlap with my new results, but I can see how my old results, especially MY FUTURISTIC & IDEATION, were parts-led; parts of me that were anxious and inexperienced and were parts that wore the masks of society’s expectations & approval. If you have these strengths in your results, please know that this is MY self-assessment – not a reflection on these strengths as a whole.

My old results were my adaptive strengths. My current results are less protective…they are my UNARMORED results. I’ve built internal trust and #emotionalagility through IFS business coaching.

I can see the external changes bringing IFS into my business world has made. I’ve been able to accumulate a list of “results” in my life and in my client’s life and work.

A sweet client on a group call, visibly far from the screen, for comfort possibly, had a slight quiver in her lip as she checked out of our session, “This work is hard,” she said.

“Yes, it is. It’s tender, it can leave bruises, and comes with lots of tears. And you don’t have to do it, ” I said with the most sincere compassion.

It IS hard to lay down our protective devices and to build trust within when the world never wanted us to have it.

I, personally, no longer need it to be easy, 
I just need it to be real. 
💛 Allison

I use #ifs in my business and life coaching – both in my membership and in private coaching. I can help you strengthen your authentic strengths and #selftrust.

#businesscoaching #ifsforbusinessowners #internalfamilysystemscoaching #confidenceatwork #emotionsatwork #nobadparts

The post How Internal Family Systems Coaching Impacted My CliftonStrengths Finder Results appeared first on Allison Crow.

Hello, Soul-Full People.

Today I have something special for you. I am doing some recordings for my marketing team that are excerpts from my book:

Unarmored, Finding Home In The Wild Edges Of Being Human

While there won’t be an audio book for a while,
the hard back and digital copies of the book are coming out next week on December 6th.

I’m super excited & I wanted to give all my podcast listeners some sneak audio listens.

So today I’m gonna be sharing some excerpts from the book.

I have no idea what order they were actually in but I hope they will touch your heart.
I hope they will wet your appetite and get you excited for this book that is coming out.

I so appreciate your support and your excitement and your encouragement and your time and attention
to listening to the work that I create that is for all of us on this human journey.

Love,

Allison

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

To find out more about the book & get on the list:
allisoncrow.com/unarmoredthebook

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
www.coachwithallison.com

The post Excerpts from my book: Unarmored appeared first on Allison Crow.

How my entire system is ultra sensitive (body and emotion- I can no longer tolerate wine or coffee, and I FEEL everything somatically), and my clairvoyance is uncomfortably off the charts.

And then I pulled this card from my The Muse Tarot deck by Chris-Anne:

“. . . the protective facade . . .has finally dropped away. . . her gritty mask faded as soon as she realized her own internal light was the only way to internal safety & success . . . walking in the world as nothing but yourself and doing things your way, with your heart. . .”

You can see her beautiful card and the whole experiential reading at https://themusetarot.com/muse-tarot-meanings-9-of-materials/

I wish I could say I felt stable in the nakedness. And as my friend KB reminded me, there is no use in comparing Allison of this day to Allison of a month ago. She isn’t there. Just get to know THIS Allison, day by day… for the next year or so.

Who are you today Who are you at this moment And how might you completely and utter love THIS ONE HERE AND NOW

The post “The Gritty Masks Faded Away” appeared first on Allison Crow.

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Hey, Hey, it’s been a while since I recorded a podcast.

I pretty much have taken all of February off… little life drama in a couple of areas going on and I just made space for myself to not be constantly creating. So this is episode number 164 and today we’re going to talk about dumb goals. 

You’ve heard of smart goals: Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time based. 

Yeah, I get it. If that works for you, this podcast may not be for you. This episode may not be for you. 
What’s the opposite of smart… dumb. We’re an acronym for goals. That works. 

Dumb Goals: Don’t Underestimate My Being

How do you set being goals?nbsp;

Being is about cultivating your identity, cultivating your beliefs & cultivating your energy.

How you adjust the way you be with yourself in the world takes time and practice. It takes presence.
It takes a willingness to come back to yourself over and over and over and over again… and it is the most glorious fucking journey I’ve ever been on.

And it is the most glorious fucking journey I invite you to be on.

Love,

Allison

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/https://allison-crow.mykajabi.com/soulies-self-leadership-society-signup

The post Set D.U.M.B. Goals appeared first on Allison Crow.

For 49 years I’ve been too smart for my own good.

I’m a lifelong student and always will be. My intellectual prowess has always given me a sense of safety and security. For most of my life, this was unconscious and now I see.

I see this was the anchor I hitched my being to in a chaotic life. I see how my intellect helped me solve problems and thrive after divorce, and create a thriving coaching practice. It served me until there were glitches that my intelligence couldn’t solve. I see places where my nervous and psychological systems would still wig out because they didn’t feel safe or certain.

In 2015/16 Jeffrey Rutstein asked me if I had childhood trauma.

My first response was, “No.”

I had very loving and involved parents. I went to private school and we had a boat and a pool. And my parents attended every basketball game I played in. So because it wasn’t like the way trauma was depicted on tv- my brain made up that there was no trauma.

Um, YES there was trauma at home and school and church. I had a physically traumatic bike injury in 4th grade. There was alcoholism, verbal abuse, emotional uncertainty, neglect, financial chaos, food insecurity, emotional manipulation (my school showed us the “Left Behind” movies when I was in 3rd grade), and religious trauma. My sweet mom had a debilitating disability- and 4 kids in 5 years… had a lot of adult responsibilities way to soon. I’m Gen X! Of course there was trauma. I also had traumatic experiences with each set of grandparents- one wealthy and one poor.

Obviously, my parents were doing the best they could with the tools they had- they both had traumatic childhoods….. and frankly, ALL of us have.

Some of my obvious expressions of this chaos have been:
Perpetual Hyper-vigilance.
People pleasing.
Loose boundaries.
Verbal abuse.
Emotional eruption and rage.
Over functioning.
Over debting.
Codependency.
Conflict avoidance.
Cutting people out of my life completely and quickly when it hurt.
Clinical depression and anxiety.
Excruciating fear of rejection and excessive need for validation.

Slowly and gently I began to see the places where trauma still lived in my cells, my bones, my and psychology. I began to notice and recollect stories- not as a victim but just as an aware being. OH…. Of course, that had an impact on you, and here’s where and how it shows up as an adult.

I’m so grateful for gentle teachers, Like Jeffrey, and Chris Zydel, and Rebecca Ching and countless authors and teachers I’ve never actually met in person – they have led me in a compassionate discovery of ALL of me. And I am in love. (Compassion and relationship were key here- no “ass-kicking” -as for me that would just have been more trauma).

These teachers have taught me not to just “know thyself” but to relate to myself, connect and BE with all the parts of me. They have also taught me that my nervous system and body are a major part of the process and healing.

This is why from an intellectual standpoint these wouldn’t, and could not be healed.

Almost everyone I know has joined me at some point in saying, “I know it in my head…. But I just can’t seem to XYZ…”. This is why. It can’t be healed with a mindset shift.

I love coaching. And coaching without embodiment – nervous system knowledge, and trauma-informed care- is just a bandaid on a festering wound. And that’s ok until it isn’t.

You’ll know. You will KNOW in your being and body when it’s time to really go full body and deeper emotionally into your system.

As I approach 50- I can see it all coming together. I can connect the dots of the past so clearly. It’s all so perfect. Even the trauma. It’s made me this tapestry of a human that I do sweetly and tenderly love and am connected to…. As well as intellectually  understand.

While I’m excited about the future and my coaching practice and the new modalities I’m immersed in personally, and I’m practicing professionally, what is BEST…. Is in this moment, on my back porch, I am here NOW, with me, with my story, and with this moment (and two panting boxer dogs). I am safe being me. I am safe opening my heart. I am safe here and now.

I wish this peace for anyone who desires to have it.

And so it is.

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