PSA for Coaches

PSA: Coaches…stop it with the bullshit.

Stop fishing with this wide net with prescribed copy disguised as a personal message. Stop giving me free shit that I don’t need. Do not try to entice me with your 6 figure promise when you have no clue what my biz numbers are, or what I’m really about. I’m happy to show my 6 figure p&l to you by the way…will you share yours with me? I do not want or need your model or your system. It won’t work for me or really for anyone else. Well, I guess when you consider failure part of the path to success, then it will be helpful…but it will irritate the shit out of people who buy into the empty promises.

You know what they said….. they said:

You shouldn’t share your story of depression from the stage– it won’t help your business.”
They said, “You shouldn’t be so close to your clients…”
They said, “You shouldn’t cuss or use sexual innuendo…”
They said, “You should edit your emails and posts before you send them out to the world..typos are a sure turn off.”
They said, “Tone it down, straighten your hair, dress nice, and speak like a lady.”
They said, “Don’t color outside the lines, be so messy, or make jokes that everyone won’t get.”
They said, “Be loyal to me….not yourself.
They said, “Follow the model.
They said, “Get off facebook – you can’t make money there.”
They said, “Naps are for the lazy…you have to work 24/7.”
They said, “Don’t drink in front of clients and certainly don’t drink or socialize with them.”
They said, “Don’t be so available and accessable.”
They said, “You can’t NOT promise deliverables.”
They said, “You have to have a niche, KNOW your target client, blah blah blahblah….”
The expert told me I would NEVER have a corporate client who would want to work with such a childish brand.
They said, “Don’t be so woo woo – soften your language and cerntainly don’t say that you are psychic or that gays should marry or that you are liberal or that you may have smoked weed and skinny dipped with clients in the past.”
They said, “Choose just ONE thing and be really good otherwise you are a jack of all trades and a master at none.”

Ugh. 
I say Fuck that….

-the Universe pays me rather well for being me. The universe pays me for being authentic and sharing all of my story…depression, debt, shadow and the good stuff.
-The Universe pays me for being close with my clients.
-The Universe pays me for cussing and using sexual innuendo.
-The Universe even pays me for having typos in an email — One client told me I love that you don’t give a shit about that…that is why I called, precisely because you always have a typo.
-The Universe pays me to be my wild curly haired hippy dressed quirky self.
-The Universe pays me to color wildly outside the lines. The more of a mess, the better the masterpiece.
-The Universe pays me to be loyal to me…to care for my self. To be self- CENTERED. When my self is Centered EVERYONE I encounter is blessed to the max.
-The Universe pays me to make up and follow my feel good…the path that is the most fun and creative and satisfying along the way. The more feel good I have, and create, the more my clients are impacted and that impact spreads and love and success spread. How much fun can we have living this life, solving this problem, doing this work? Try that approach. If the model feels good, follow it. If the model tightens your chest or your anus…Fuck the model.
-Dude…. 100% of my clients the past 4 years has come from FB. Yes I am there all the time. You are at the office. I am living my life and sharing most of it with facebook. Check my bank account.
-The Universe pays me for taking naps….and painting paintings.
-I have had drinks in front of and with clients and I do often become social friends with them. The Universe still has paid me. And we like it that way.
-The Universe pays me for being available and accessible..not just to my clients…but to life, to miracles, to energy, to wisdom, to lessons. The Universe pays me for being open.
-The Universe pays me for NOT promising deliverables…. the universe loves it when my clients take responsibility for the deliverables. Works every time.
-The Universe does not know or care what the fuck a niche is…. it works in hearts…not niches. I am a life coach, if you are alive, I can coach you. I may or may not want to…. we’d have to talk to see if it feels good for both of us.
-The expert told me I would NEVER have a corporate client who would want to work with such a childish brand. The expert was wrong before those words ever left his lips. My child-LIKE brand is just one of the filters for the kinds of hearts I work with. Corporate people want faries and magic and Spirit in their lives too. The Universe pays me for being child-like.
-The Universe pays me and celebrates me for being so woo woo, psychic, and for supporting gays marriage. The Universe gets a chuckle that I label myself liberal and really gets laughing that I may or may not have have smoked weed and skinny dipped with clients in the past.
-THe Universe made me a jack of many many many trades—not all of them. All I am to practice being a MASTER at…is connecting with spirit and being open. And getting in Alignment. Once there the rest is magic cake. I am still learning. The Universe is paying me to be STILL LEARNING to connect and stay open to Spirit.

I have NO IDEA what will make you successful. I have no IDEA what your version of success even is…unless I ask you and we have a good deep talk about it. Even then, I have no Idea of HOW it will happen for you.

I do know that BEING the MOST AUTHENTIC and joyful YOU you can be…. be YOU..share your gifts and light….. that that is what has worked for me. 6+ figures and all….

The last two (or 4 or 6) coaches I hired…. I hired not because the promised to deliver a 6 figure result…but because they seemed to really care about helping me be me.

Note: I am aware of a vibe of agitation vs the ‪#‎letlovewin‬ I often promote. I will let you know when I figure out what it looks like for me to ‪#‎letlove‬ win here vs ‪#‎ranting‬.

UPDATE: I must add this addendum:

This post shows the bravado and rebellion.

And the universe also pays me for being tender, kind, and loving.
The universe pays me for putting in hours and hours of work with thousands of clients over the years.
The universe pays me for purposely honing my skills as both a coach and a human being.
The universe pays me for listening.
The universe pays me for caring.
The universe pays me for giving permission to people to just follow their hearts.
The universe pays me for using my brains and heart and Google
The universe pays me to spend time with people.
The universe pays me to care and make people I don’t know, who don’t pay me, feel loved and seen and noticed.
The universe pays me to be an advocate for letting love win.
The universe pays me for being creative
The universe pays me for smiling
The universe pays me for giving to those who have less
The universe pay me for loving the Mary Ann’s and those who fly under the radar- the every day extraordinary who may never make the news of headlines.
The universe pays me for being nice.
The universe pays me for being another kind of mother to people (since I could never have kids).
The universe doesn’t just pay me for my rebellion and sass. It pays me for being sweet and loving too. It pays me for being all of me. For REALLY Caring