Self-trust takes time; it is a practice, not an event.
Navigating self-trust isnโt always easy. It’s about finding your footing amidst the pressures of fitting into the molds the world shapes for usโoften at the expense of our authenticity.
Letโs talk people-pleasing. It’s a tune many of us dance to, a coping mechanism etched into our psyches from childhood. We all crave connection and acceptance. But beyond the superficial layers lies the question: Who are you, stripped of the thirst for approval?
I’ve found that this takes self-awareness, deconstruction, and time rebuilding.
I’ve been delving into what society labels as “negative,” and itโs been a revelation โ both internally and in the reactions of those around me.
“Youโre too angry.”
“Youโre too sad.”
“Youโre too negative.”
“Youโre too complainy.”
“You think too much.”
“You worry too much.”
“You judge too much.”
“Just let it go!!!”
Sound familiar? We tend to shove these parts into dark corners, hoping they’ll disappear because we were taught to shame and exile them instead of caring for them. As children, unconsciously, we did what we could; we built coping skills to stay safe and belong. In childhood, those coping skills served us, but as adults, they need updating and re-working (not abandonment or exile).
As children, we tried to control these parts. As adults, it is more helpful to connect and relate with these parts of us.
Self-trust takes time on task being connected to, curious about, and compassionate with these parts of us, like building any trusting relationship. We can meet these parts and become curious and compassionate with them.
True surrender and SELF-trust arenโt about evading the struggle; they’re about embracing every facet of ourselves, even the ones we fear. Theyโre about being present for our anger, our anxiety, and our struggles without judgment.
Building self-trust is a journey of nurturing the relationship between our true selves and these often-overlooked parts. Itโs about spending quality time with our shadows, acknowledging their presence, and finding peace within their chaos.
This journey isnโt always smooth sailing. Relationships built on pretense may crumble, leaving behind a sense of loss. Yet, through the cracks, we catch glimpses of our authentic selves, resilient and unapologetically real.
Each moment of wobble or struggle is an opportunity to strengthen your self-trust skills.
Ask yourself:
Who would you be if you trusted yourself wholeheartedly?
What if I knew how to BE with any discomfort that came up?
What if I never left myself, or any part of me again?
And remember, clarity often emerges from the depths of our struggles, not just from moments of blissful meditation. Let building self-trust take time. You’ve got this.
