Allison Crow

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Better Life Better Work Show, FB Live

BLBW: Episode 11 Boss Lady, Put On Your Professional Panties (…

March 24, 2017

Boss Lady, Put On Your Professional Panties (or upgrade your communication).

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: What to Remember When Your Thinking Is Shitty
next article: Coffee and Cards for a Soothing Saturday Morning.

Comments

  1. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:04 pm

    First one in!

  2. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    What up peeps. Missing u guys. Gonna be multi tasking

  3. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Take your time.

  4. Peggy Robinson says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Goodmorning Everybody!!!!

  5. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Hello dawling

  6. Helen Appleby says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Good morning!!! ❀

  7. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    #AlmostLive

  8. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Hi stace!

  9. Laura Haviland says: March 24, 2017 at 4:05 pm

    Hello Lovely…xoxo

  10. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    Not frozen to me.

  11. Laura Haviland says: March 24, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    Not frozen for me

  12. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    Back stage pass. #Greenroom

  13. Megan Winkler says: March 24, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    Oh Lawd!

  14. Amy Callahan says: March 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    LOL

  15. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 4:10 pm

    I’ve had quite a morning as well

  16. Laura Haviland says: March 24, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Yes yes yes…lol

  17. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Nathan!! Yipeee

  18. Helen Appleby says: March 24, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Nathan!!! Yippee again!! ❀

  19. Anonymous says: March 24, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Nathan!!! Yippee again!!

  20. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Ewwwwww yucky

  21. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Nathan where r u?

  22. Laura Haviland says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Have a super weekend, gotta run.xoxoxoxo

  23. Eric Freiman-Polli says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Then…BYE,BYE!

  24. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Drop kick them

  25. Helen Appleby says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Dump them!!!

  26. Kimberley Dashiell Danza says: March 24, 2017 at 4:12 pm

    Hi!

  27. Peggy Robinson says: March 24, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Customer Service does seem non existent at a lot of levels….

  28. Mike Schlegel says: March 24, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Abundant grace. Thank you for being real. #AuthenticLeadership

  29. Theresa Marie Falvey says: March 24, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    ?good morning!

  30. Dawn Armstrong says: March 24, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    Stacey Tucker THIS xxxx

  31. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:16 pm

    My home town

  32. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:17 pm

    Hi Kay!!!

  33. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    Sometimes?!

  34. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Bay LeBlanc Quiney…come join us….

  35. Stacy Nelson says: March 24, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    No is one of my superpowers lol

  36. Dawn Armstrong says: March 24, 2017 at 4:23 pm

    totally!! <3

  37. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: March 24, 2017 at 4:24 pm

    Good morning.β˜€οΈ

  38. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    That’s my phrase. Should have tm ??

  39. Anonymous says: March 24, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    That’s my phrase. Should have tm

  40. Paula Roelands says: March 24, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Good morning Allison!

  41. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    Hi Lauren!!

  42. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    How do you differentiate a connection with a pick your brain free over coffee?

  43. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    How’s my beach??? How’s the ??

  44. Anonymous says: March 24, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    How’s my beach??? How’s the ?

  45. Eric Freiman-Polli says: March 24, 2017 at 4:29 pm

    LOL!

  46. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:34 pm

    Yes, get dressed. Plus it’s caring for yourself!

  47. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Yes!

  48. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    don’t want to miss a connection for business over someone trying to pick my brain.

  49. Susan K. Morrow-Johnson says: March 24, 2017 at 4:41 pm

    One of my friends charges through the nose for the “pick your brain” request. It had gotten out of hand, so she made a strict policy.

  50. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:42 pm

    That’s my difference now since business is new

  51. Megan Winkler says: March 24, 2017 at 4:43 pm

    Yes! It’s true!

  52. Amy Callahan says: March 24, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    oh my! that’s awful!

  53. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    I love your life examples

  54. Amy Callahan says: March 24, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    after being in “eat-what-you-kill” sales, I constantly tell people that they might use their time better than trying to make the sale with me when I know I’m not a ready buyer….

  55. Kimberley Dashiell Danza says: March 24, 2017 at 4:46 pm

    I’ve always wondered why coaches do free intake sessions. I’ve charged for those (offline) for years. I feel like the client is more invested that way.

  56. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:47 pm

    Oh yeah

  57. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:49 pm

    Mastermind group! Doodle for dollars

  58. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 4:51 pm

    Hi bay! Happy Friday luv

  59. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:53 pm

    Love that

  60. Amy Callahan says: March 24, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    This is why I use an online scheduler and offer the kinds of appointments I am willing to have. πŸ™‚

  61. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 4:54 pm

    I have a professional wedgie apparently! ?

  62. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    It sounds professional!

  63. Christine Summers says: March 24, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Sounds great and if they are your people and serious then they will pay!!!

  64. Eric Freiman-Polli says: March 24, 2017 at 4:57 pm

    I’m here! Very happily!!

  65. Megan Winkler says: March 24, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Love that!!

  66. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    Ali gently…some of your questions from peeps are coming from what u were teaching in Shsw type place + passion. And the being has come back to the canvas on the easel

  67. Jenelle Cobb says: March 24, 2017 at 5:05 pm

    And it annoys me too. Google people!

  68. April Reynolds Beam says: March 24, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Shared!!

  69. Miriam Linderman says: March 24, 2017 at 5:39 pm

    REPLAY VIEWER WHO LOVES YOU.

  70. Miriam Linderman says: March 24, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    This pool guy is TOAST. And if not, TOAST in progress.

  71. Miriam Linderman says: March 24, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    We work from home. People will get used to it. Because that’s our reality.

  72. Miriam Linderman says: March 24, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    Too much damn suffering with that pool company.

  73. Miriam Linderman says: March 24, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    I do not like obligation or guilt. Yuck.

  74. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:46 am

    Love the ‘pro panties’ !!

  75. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:48 am

    You have to change from social panties to pro panties – judging which ones to wear at different times? I might start wearing my social panties and then run to change into my pro panties!

  76. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:51 am

    We have to relax and be social at times

  77. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:53 am

    I like to be open to making new friends….but always wonder might this person not become a client

  78. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:54 am

    ….can get a bit exhausting

  79. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 10:59 am

    That’s interesting Kimberley

  80. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Don’t get hit by a bus Allison!!β™‘β™‘

  81. Helen May says: March 27, 2017 at 11:22 am

    Thanks a million Allison!β™‘β™‘

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πŸ’›IFS coaching for life/biz
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πŸ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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