Allison Crow

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How To Use The 8 Cs of IFS to support your business

December 2, 2021

How the 8 Cs of Internal Family System can support your work.

IFS is a non pathologizing evidenced based model. Itโ€™s a means of working with our many thoughts, emotions, beliefs, behaviors and different parts of ourselves that make up the natural multiplicity of the human mind. It was developed by Richard Schwartz.

A part of me feels confident, a part of me feels insecure and a part of me knows this but why canโ€™t I do it. 

For years many people I know including myself have already spoken to ourselves about a โ€œpart of me this and a part of me that.โ€

One of the things that Richard Schwartz realized is that there were 8 Cs of self energy.
Whenever he was talking with his clients and they seemed to be in a centered higher self state he noticed that they were Calm, Connected, Compassionate, Curious, Confident, Creative, Clear and Courageous. 

The idea of Internal Family Systems is to be Self Led.

Characteristics of SELF are the Cs.
When I focus on the energies of calm, connected, compassionate and curious, they are actually the energies and embodied behaviors I need to give myself and my parts so that I can be confident, creative, clear and courageous in my business. 

Here is the formula:

When I am able to be with all my thinking parts.
I can experience it from Self and notice my parts.

So from a place of the first four Csโ€ฆ
I calm myself – Hello I see that you are here.
Compassion – I am here for you, what would you like me to know?
Curious – I start asking it questions.

When I was able to be the first 4Cs and listen to the parts old old old fears came up that have nothing to do with my business right now.

When I am able to respond to that part of me and witness their story and what they want me to know from that from calm, connected, compassionate, curious place then all the sudden that part of me that feels depressed literally begins to relax and says thank you for listening.

When Iโ€™m feeling off the first thing to do is to get Calm and get Curious and when I do that what happens is the confidence, creativity, clarity and courage rise up. 

WE canโ€™t just snap into, โ€œIโ€™m gonna be courageous.โ€  We can take brave action and become courageous. Most of these parts are protective. They donโ€™t want you to feel bad, break or get you rejected.  You know the parts that keep you invisible.  The parts that keep you from doing the things you know to support and sustain you.

When we are wanting to create confidence, creativity , clarity and courage to take beautiful loving bold action in our business if there is something in the way take the time to be calm connected compassionate and curious and it actually heals what those blocks are instead of shoving those blocks in a corner to get stronger later.

Instead of going away from resistance, we are learning to go towards the resistant parts and figure out what they need, what they are afraid of and how we can best support them… and when we do they chill out, step back and let Self lead.

I take the time to be calm connected compassionate and curious with those heavy parts in a 10 minute journal exercise and that leads me to being confident creative clear and courageous.

Love,

Allison

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Resources:

Two Coaches Nerd Out about Internal Family Systems with Dr. Erin M. Baker
https://allisoncrow.com/blbw149/

Become a member of Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/

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๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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