Allison Crow

Humaning

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Ep#5 Goin’ Dirty: Overcoming Resistance

February 3, 2017

the BETTER Life BETTER Work Show LIVE: Ep#5 Yeah, Yeah, Going Dirty! Oh. I’m being vague here on purpose. and this episode is gonna floor you. I wanna help you shift some stinky mindset settings that are keeping you stuck –but to do it we gotta get DIRTY, and learn to love it. Join me live this Friday

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: Ep #5: Resistance and How to Learn to Love the Dirty Work
next article: Birthday reflections

Comments

  1. Eric Freiman-Polli says: February 3, 2017 at 5:00 pm

    Hi!

  2. Christine Summers says: February 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Catching you live ?

  3. Anonymous says: February 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Catching you live

  4. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Everything!

  5. Jo Barnard says: February 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Sending hugs xxx

  6. Tammy Judd Jenny says: February 3, 2017 at 5:02 pm

    Good morning <3

  7. Shakisha Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Hi Allison! Good morning!! <3

  8. Jo Barnard says: February 3, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Low energy, heaviness xxx

  9. Christine Summers says: February 3, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Procrastination

  10. Eric Freiman-Polli says: February 3, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    Avoiding difficult conversations

  11. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:07 pm

    When I finally go to call someone I’ve been resistance… there is no answer

  12. Shakisha Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Yes, I do. Resistance to make healthy eating choices, procrastination on work tasks because my to do list is just to big.

  13. Christy Chick Nash says: February 3, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Staying busy with all the other stuff!

  14. Jo Barnard says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Hard to see the breakthrough and liberation on the other side but it’s always there xx

  15. Tammy Judd Jenny says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    I let myself get overwhelmed so I don’t know where to focus

  16. Shakisha Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    I use client work and being busy with that so i don’t have to work on my shit

  17. Katie McClain says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    I resist that book!

  18. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Moving my body!

  19. Eric Freiman-Polli says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Doing everything else instead of what really needs to be done.

  20. Shakisha Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:09 pm

    Maria – Me too!

  21. Katie McClain says: February 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    I resist his books because he’s so damn preachy!

  22. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    You are live

  23. Katie McClain says: February 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    Still here

  24. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    yes we are still live

  25. Tammy Judd Jenny says: February 3, 2017 at 5:10 pm

    yes

  26. Christy Chick Nash says: February 3, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    true

  27. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:18 pm

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. – Marianne Williamson

  28. Christine Summers says: February 3, 2017 at 5:20 pm

    Today is st.blaze day, blessing of the throats

  29. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    Yep! Every day.

  30. Jo Barnard says: February 3, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    Showing up takes guts. You are perfect <3

  31. Christine Summers says: February 3, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    Be honest with yourself!

  32. Eric Freiman-Polli says: February 3, 2017 at 5:23 pm

    Ownership is powerful, Shame is powerless

  33. Jamie Siv Rognstad says: February 3, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    <3 Allison. Happy Friday :) I'm diving in!

  34. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    What about when I can’t see what the wonderful looks like on the other side?

  35. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:33 pm

    https://youtu.be/onE43h_TUUY

  36. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    The book. Resistance is fear of criticism, rejection, etc. other side could be having my life even more public. I’m doing the dirty work anyway and the outcome is still more resistance.

  37. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Still not seeing the wonderful except not having to write anymore.?

  38. Anonymous says: February 3, 2017 at 5:36 pm

    Still not seeing the wonderful except not having to write anymore.

  39. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm

    Make an impact.

  40. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:38 pm

    People told me my story changed their life. How could I not write it?

  41. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: February 3, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks for talking it out.?

  42. Anonymous says: February 3, 2017 at 5:40 pm

    Thanks for talking it out.

  43. Angel Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:45 pm

    That song is in my head!!

  44. Christy Chick Nash says: February 3, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Do some art around those feelings of resistance

  45. Angel Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I’ve been playing w my new website all morning.

  46. Eric Freiman-Polli says: February 3, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    Totally possible! Telling myself the truth.

  47. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:47 pm

    Whatever you Resist… Persists!!!

  48. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:49 pm

    It will follow you!!!

  49. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:51 pm

    The Magic is in the Mess

  50. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Our Website – lol. What will happen if it’s successful and who will I be without the heaviness? Responsibility comes with being great

  51. Maria Fernanda Castro says: February 3, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    http://www.allisoncrow.com/better

  52. Angel Reynolds says: February 3, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Outstanding!!

  53. Elyse Rich says: February 3, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    http://www.campstarheart.com

  54. Mandy Lehto says: February 3, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Busy-ness with other things masquerading as urgent.

  55. Helen May says: February 3, 2017 at 11:17 pm

    Hi Allison – watching the replay!โ™กโ™ก

  56. Helen May says: February 4, 2017 at 12:12 am

    I’m not sure where I’m not telling myself the truth, what lies do I tell myself?
    Think I might have fear of getting in over my head/ jumping in and then realising I’m not such a great swimmer!!

  57. Helen May says: February 4, 2017 at 12:14 am

    I’d love some more “burning desire”

  58. Kelly Montgomery Haygood says: February 4, 2017 at 12:59 am

    It’s messing up my connection right now

  59. Kelly Montgomery Haygood says: February 4, 2017 at 12:59 am

    And my live video did some weird stuff

  60. Ana Caragea says: February 4, 2017 at 9:04 am

    Hi Allison! Replay viewer ๐Ÿ˜€

  61. Ana Caragea says: February 4, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Tons of resistance

  62. Ana Caragea says: February 4, 2017 at 9:23 am

    Thank you for sharing the truth! Loving it all!

  63. Ana Caragea says: February 4, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Great show!! โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

  64. Anonymous says: February 4, 2017 at 10:00 am

    Great show!!

  65. Beth Ytell Kang says: February 4, 2017 at 2:39 pm

    ??

  66. Beth Ytell Kang says: February 4, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Replay is greatโฃ

  67. Anonymous says: February 4, 2017 at 5:08 pm

    Replay is great

  68. Cara Wykowski says: February 4, 2017 at 5:56 pm

    Hello!!

  69. Cara Wykowski says: February 4, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Dealing with money

  70. Beth Ytell Kang says: February 4, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    What is in the way IS the wayโฃโฃโฃโฃ

  71. Anonymous says: February 4, 2017 at 6:16 pm

    What is in the way IS the way

  72. JC Williams says: February 5, 2017 at 3:10 am

    Thank you Allison, meant a great deal…take care and pre-happppy birthday on Monday <3

  73. Cara Wykowski says: February 6, 2017 at 5:39 am

    Have you noticed if resistance increases as you get closer to your purpose/goal?

    • Allison Crow says: February 6, 2017 at 3:18 pm

      Totally!!!

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๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
Instagram post 18052656569149431 Instagram post 18052656569149431
For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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