Your Inner Critic, Inner Judger, and Shoulding parts need your love and affection – not banishment or elimination.
I’ve found it easier to give my affectionate presence to my anxious and depressed parts. Perhaps it is because I have been aware of them for much longer than some of my more aggressive managers.
From an IFS lens:
all parts have benevolent intent managers are trying to control life so we don’t feel painthey run daily life and give us the illusion of safety and control.Many of my thinking parts are managers scrambling for certainty in an uncertain world. It’s been said that “all thinking is parts.” We must remember that the goal is not to eliminate parts but lead them with attuned love.
I came across this quote by Francis Weller – and I particularly loved the phrase “quality of attention wedded with affection.”
This is my intention. To gently build my muscle memory for befriending my Inner Critic, my Relentless Shoulding parts, and the parts that often tell me I’m doing it wrong. I am here for you feisty managers. I see you. I will not leave you. I am here for you.
What is possible if you were to meet these parts of you with more openness and affection?
