Today is a new day. Yesterday was low, low, lowโฆ.. grateful for my compassionate friend Heather and compassionate nurse Bethany. I spent half the day at the Heart Hospital having some tests (planned, not an emergency).
Hereโs what I noticed about being in the hospital while Bethany was tenderly tucking me under a warm blanket for a nap between CT scans:
In the hospital- someone else makes allllll the decisions for me. An
d when this feels GOOD – it is a sign that I am physically and emotionally beat.
Normally I enjoy freedom in making my own decisions.
And Iโm not alone. This isnโt just heart attacks, dogs dying, and everyday life and work stress. When I talk to my clients and friends- many of them are DONE.
The mental load is overloaded. Overstimulated. Fragile.
Then there is the internal self-gaslighting, โbut most of the world has it sooo much worse, you are weary from quality problems.โ
The invalidation makes it worse, and the edges fray a bit more.
But Bethany, nurse Bethany didnโt say – youโre a lucky lady. Many heart attacks are way worse. Suck it up.
She didnโt compare my difficulty to someone better or worse. She validated my experience. She didnโt hold it as a โcomplaint.โ
I believe you.
She said,
โOh honey, yes, this makes you really nauseous, and that is no fun. May I bring you some juice? Stay here as long as you need. We canโt have you going home feeling crummy.โ
I believe you.
I believe your experience and I donโt need to invalidate it or criticize it or just because itโs uncomfortable I donโt have to squirm away from it. I believe you.
Dear Ones, you donโt owe anyone your relatability. You donโt have to invalidate your experience because it isnโt as bad as anotherโs. Itโs YOUR experience, and your discomfort and stress are valid.
I wanna be more like Bethany – to myself and others. That tenderness heals. And when weโre healed, we can care more for those that have it way worse.
Today is a new day. Coffee in my cozy bed helps.
