On the Front Porch with Protective Parts

As a trained #internalfamilysystems coach (vs. a therapist) who works with very smart, 

A watercolor rendering of a front porch with 2 adirondack chairs infront of big windows. Between them is a table with a vase of flowers.

head-led, and strategic business owners – we do a ton of what I call
 
Front porch work.
 
My specific amazing clients have protectors & internal that use fierce but publicly rewarded coping mechanisms like #peoplepleasing #overachieving #overfunctioning #intellectualizing #awareness #caregiving #overthinking #anxiety and #strategizing. My clients often also have strong #innercritics and #perfection & #highstandards.
 
These are awesome and valuable skills.
 
Our goal is not to get rid of them but instead create an inner and physical (not just intellectual) trusting relationship with these parts- to learn from them, listen to their wisdom, and be in a different relationship with them. When we do- they relax a little & no longer OVERperform to exhaustion.
 
We spend time in connection and curiosity on the front porch – so to speak. Before we try to โ€œgo insideโ€.
 
We spend time together to create attunement, and attunement opens op connection and connection creates access to our natural #selfenergy. Itโ€™s a beautiful thing to sit on the front porch and facilitate these relationships in my clientsโ€™ inner systems. And it makes going even deeper inside almost natural. ๐Ÿ’›
 
Not all #ifscoaching is exactly like this- this is just what I see in my personal style as a coach and in my specific niche of clients. ๐Ÿ’›
 
You, at anytime, can sit on your own inner front porch and give your inner parts more love and connection, not less.
๐Ÿ’› Allison.
 
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You’re Doing it Wrong – From the Archives

Originally written June25, 2022   ๐—ฌ๐—ผ๐˜‚ ๐—ฎ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ ๐—ฑ๐—ผ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—ถ๐˜ ๐—ช๐—ฅ๐—ข๐—ก๐—š! Does anyone else have an old trauma-based sensitivity to this phrase? I have been a

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