Allison Crow

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Internal Family Systems, Internal Family Systems Coaching, Leadership, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Self Compassion, Self Leadership, Unarmored, Wild Edges of Being Human

The Goals Of Internal Family Systems Coaching

August 2, 2023

a hand written card that says Imagine: Having the internal skills to meet your inner and outer world with calm, connected compassionate curious confident creative, clear and courageous energy. Without having to self-shame, bypass, suppress, explode or control uncomfortable parts of you. Imagine truly loving and accepting all of you, and this transforming your inner peace and outer relationships giving you confidence.

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฒ ๐—š๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—น๐˜€ & ๐—›๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ ๐—ผ๐—ณ ๐—œ๐—ป๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฟ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—น ๐—™๐—ฎ๐—บ๐—ถ๐—น๐˜† ๐—ฆ๐˜†๐˜€๐˜๐—ฒ๐—บ๐˜€ ๐—–๐—ผ๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด

a hand written card that says Imagine: Having the internal skills to meet your inner and outer world with calm, connected compassionate curious confident creative, clear and courageous energy. Without having to self-shame, bypass, suppress, explode or control uncomfortable parts of you. Imagine truly loving and accepting all of you, and this transforming your inner peace and outer relationships giving you confidence.

Our internal worlds, our psyche -and our mind-body system can be complicated and overwhelming at times! Think of the things that seem to derail you and your current ways of “dealing with them.”

Maybe you are like me – super self-aware and read all the books, take lots of classes, do the meditations, and even after years of pursuing personal growth, you get exhausted, and in some deeper layers, there is still a painful internal tension that has never been relieved. I feel you; this was me…until I found Internal Family Systems.

The goal of IFS is to give you the tools to cultivate and embody SELF-energy and to relate lovingly from that place to all the parts within you. IFS can help build your #emotionalagility and help you release negative beliefs that hold you back in life.

IFS is not just information – it’s a practice and a way of BEING WITH all parts of yourself in both mind and body that most of us have not been taught. It is mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual and helps you lead your inner and outer worlds from a place of grounded confidence, compassion, & creativity.

Follow and share this month as I give some #internalfamilysystems mojo every day this month.

๐Ÿ’›, Allison Crow

#ifscoaching

  • Find out more about 1:1 coaching with Allison
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About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: 6 Reasons I Use Internal Family Systems With My Coaching Clients
next article: A Part of Me this & A Part of Me that
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๐Ÿ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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