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Alignment, Coaching, Conversations, FB Live, My Mentors, Uncategorized

Varian Brandon – Featured Camp Star Heart Speaker – How to Handle Anxiety and Perspective

March 8, 2017

Meet my Guru Varian Brandon – confidence master and – Featured Camp Star Heart Speaker

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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  • Better Life Better Work Episode# 29: Expert Series w Varian Brandon
previous article: Advice For When You Are Feeling High Strung
next article: Ressurection

Comments

  1. AnaLisa Rutstein says: March 8, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    Allison Crow ? I didn’t know you could pre schedule FB lives ?! Is this a secret trick you learned or something you can share ?

    • Allison Crow says: March 8, 2017 at 2:54 pm

      With BeLive.tv there is the option, and on pages there is a native option

  2. AnaLisa Rutstein says: March 8, 2017 at 2:49 pm

    Allison Crow I didn’t know you could pre schedule FB lives ! Is this a secret trick you learned or something you can share ?

  3. Shanti Zimmermann says: March 8, 2017 at 9:32 am

    I adore Varian…ADORE!!

  4. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:32 am

    Good morning everyone!!!!!

  5. Amy Harris says: March 8, 2017 at 9:32 am

    Two of my favorites ever!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      ?? Hey Lady!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:57 pm

      Hey Lady!!!

  6. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Hello lovely women.

  7. Shanti Zimmermann says: March 8, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    You both are giving me heartgasms✨??

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:58 pm

      ????

  8. Shanti Zimmermann says: March 8, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    You both are giving me heartgasms

  9. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Another powerful pairing!!!! Oh my!

  10. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    These two are my impact full women that I admire dearly & honor?????????????????

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      Awww, thank you Mel!!

  11. ML Cool Mel Ezeh says: March 8, 2017 at 3:35 pm

    These two are my impact full women that I admire dearly & honor

  12. Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 9:35 am

    Yes!!!!!! Good morning loves!!!

  13. Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 9:37 am

    I am smiling soooo BIG!!!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      ???

  14. Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 9:39 am

    Hi Isabelle!!

  15. Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 9:42 am

    “She has the right not to like you.” – Lesson: There is nothing wrong with her. There is nothing wrong with you.

  16. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:44 am

    That’s is so liberating. The other way round you don’t have to follow the herd. You just need to follow what feels good.

  17. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 9:45 am

    Hi Varian!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 4:59 pm

      Heyyy Monica!!!

  18. Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 9:46 am

    I’m coming because of HER!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:00 pm

      I CAN NOT wait to meet you oh Queen of Doodledom!!!

    • Diane Bleck says: March 8, 2017 at 5:42 pm

      I am seriously so thrilled to be in the same room as you.

  19. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:48 am

    I like simple

  20. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Ha ha ha “am I going to jail?:

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Hey, that’s one of my two measurements!!??

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Hey, that’s one of my two measurements!!

  21. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Come on!!!! Am I going to die , am I going to jail!!!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Yep, those are the guidepost!!?

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:01 pm

      Yep, those are the guidepost!!

  22. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 9:48 am

    Good one. Am I going to die or go to jail?

  23. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Funny thing I did have that question once

  24. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:49 am

    Kicking anxiety in the butt!!!!

  25. Katie McClain says: March 8, 2017 at 9:49 am

    So fun to see/hear the famous Varian!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      Wait, What….I’m Famous? Yes, yes I am!!!??
      Thanks for joining us Katie!!

    • Katie McClain says: March 8, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      Varian Brandon I’ve heard so much about your brilliance from Allison Crow. I believed and it was nice to experience for myself. πŸ™‚

  26. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 9:50 am

    It’s a great perspective.

  27. Catherine Schoen says: March 8, 2017 at 9:50 am

    My point of reference is similar …not paraplegic nit imprisoned.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:03 pm

      See, you feel me Catherine!

  28. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:50 am

    Go deeper

  29. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:52 am

    Hi Alison is this anxiety linked to you not feeling that you can help or save others? A saviour ache type

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:05 pm

      The savior complex is real for many people. I often remind those with the savior complex that saviors get crucified!!?

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:05 pm

      The savior complex is real for many people. I often remind those with the savior complex that saviors get crucified!!

  30. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 9:52 am

    I don’t understand where we got the idea that our only legitimate concern is for ourselves and it’s somehow weird or odd to be concerned for others.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      I know, we were created to be connected!

    • Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 5:16 pm

      We could even say that we were created FROM connection…we act like it is a choice to be connected, but in my experience, it is our nature to be connected — and when we DISconnect, it is a DISease — on a cellular level.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:17 pm

      I would totally agree!!

    • Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 5:18 pm

      You know what would be cool Allison Crow — a panel discussion, where you and ALL the speakers are up front, and we have a dialogue/conversation. I think that would be AMAZEBALLS!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:23 pm

      Ooooo, that would be amazeballs!!!

  31. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:53 am

    That you ‘can’t help’ I meant

  32. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:54 am

    Come on open heart!!!!!!

  33. Sophia Husbands says: March 8, 2017 at 9:54 am

    Or you can we it from the perspective that one person you’re helping is contributing to a “ripple effect’. You helping more than you think Alison

  34. Katie McClain says: March 8, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    You are both amazing. Thank you. ?

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:06 pm

      ? Thank you Katie!

  35. Catherine Schoen says: March 8, 2017 at 9:55 am

    Beautiful you guys

  36. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 9:55 am

    Ooooowwwwwweeeewwwww you are a channel of LOVE!!!!!

  37. Shanti Zimmermann says: March 8, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    So much love❀️✨??

  38. Shanti Zimmermann says: March 8, 2017 at 3:55 pm

    So much love

  39. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 9:55 am

    Yes…make it real, too!

  40. Catherine Schoen says: March 8, 2017 at 9:57 am

    The butterfly effect

  41. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 9:57 am

    You must do it next year!!!

  42. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 9:57 am

    If you don’t do CSH, we will πŸ˜‰

  43. Katie McClain says: March 8, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Charge more!

  44. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 9:58 am

    Bahahaha!!!

  45. David Stone says: March 8, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    You joined the Denton Democrats or you ARE the Denton Democrats? ?

  46. David Stone says: March 8, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    You joined the Denton Democrats or you ARE the Denton Democrats?

  47. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 10:02 am

    Your mother is my hero. I have that dream and keep putting it off.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:08 pm

      I know, she inspires me so much!! Well I’m sure one day you will step forward and put your hat into the ring…?

    • Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Girl, that day may be sooner than any of us are ready for πŸ˜‰

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:18 pm

      WE are ready, but THEY…ain’t ready!!???

    • Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 5:19 pm

      Hahaha…I can’t tell who WE are and who THEY are anymore…which must mean it doesn’t matter if anyone else is ready but me!

  48. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 10:02 am

    Yay Varian’s Mom who has creativity flowing at 80. Creativity is ageless. πŸ™‚

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:09 pm

      Yes! Can you believe this at 80?? Makes me know there is so much more for me to contribute!

  49. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:05 am

    My world is enough!!!!! yes YES!!!!!

  50. David Stone says: March 8, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    The lesson from her mom – there is nothing wrong with you there is nothing wrong with them – can help with this political divide – we are all one ?

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:09 pm

      Exactly David!!

  51. David Stone says: March 8, 2017 at 4:07 pm

    The lesson from her mom – there is nothing wrong with you there is nothing wrong with them – can help with this political divide – we are all one

  52. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:11 am

    Shift your perspective quickly to access your POWER!!!!!!

  53. Monica Day says: March 8, 2017 at 10:14 am

    Can you keep singing Varian???

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:10 pm

      Hahahaha!! You heard that???

  54. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:15 am

    Awe he’s talking

  55. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Gotta love our pooches! ?

  56. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:15 pm

    Gotta love our pooches!

  57. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 10:19 am

    That’s a WOW statement Varian

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:11 pm

      What was the statement Lauren??

    • Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      We step into mastery, we live in humanity!
      Bullseye- this speaks to who I am and the human exchange that is the lifeblood.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:17 pm

      Yesss!!!

  58. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:19 am

    I live in humanity, I step into mastery!!!!! Lady V genius

  59. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    I’m about to give my first talk ever … and will be talking about how we can use our challenges and circumstances as “fuel for new growth” by shifting our perspective/perceptions by doing things like reframing … so I’m loving your live … you are both awesome to listen to ??

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      Thank you so much Carl! Congratulations on your first talk EVER!!???

      How cool is that! Come back and let us know how it goes!!

    • Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 5:32 pm

      Thank you Varian πŸ™‚ It’s for a hosted event for the United Nation’s International Day of Happiness for … gulp … 250 people. It’s funny … yesterday I was unable to do a thing, paralyzed with fear and uncertainty with thoughts like “what the hell did I get myself into?” … and today? I feel over all grounded and calm, and the 2 of you REALLY helped set the tone … so thank you!!

    • Allison Crow says: March 9, 2017 at 12:16 am

      Carl Contino I can’t wait to hear how it goes!! Thank you for joining us today! <3

  60. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:20 pm

    I’m about to give my first talk ever … and will be talking about how we can use our challenges and circumstances as “fuel for new growth” by shifting our perspective/perceptions by doing things like reframing … so I’m loving your live … you are both awesome to listen to

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      Thank you so much Carl! Congratulations on your first talk EVER!!

      How cool is that! Come back and let us know how it goes!!

  61. David Stone says: March 8, 2017 at 4:21 pm

    Good luck Carl ?

  62. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    for me it comes down to my willingness to be visible … and for an ultra sensitive and introvert , it has not been easy … but NOW is the time ?

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:13 pm

      It’s your time and your TURN!!

  63. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 4:28 pm

    for me it comes down to my willingness to be visible … and for an ultra sensitive and introvert , it has not been easy … but NOW is the time

  64. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 10:28 am

    Pleasure – great question.

  65. Mark J. Silverman says: March 8, 2017 at 10:29 am

    I just stumbled onto magic. <3

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Heyyyy, yes you did!!!?? ??? You!!!!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:14 pm

      Heyyyy, yes you did!!! You!!!!

  66. Carl Contino says: March 8, 2017 at 10:29 am

    State of Pleasure … Love it!

  67. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Next color get red eye glasses ladies

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      Funny, I actually have a red pair on order!!

    • Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 5:20 pm

      Great every time you speak in person …live streams wear your red eye glasses.

  68. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    AMAZING DUO????

    • Varian Brandon says: March 8, 2017 at 5:15 pm

      ??

  69. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    AMAZING DUO

  70. Miriam Linderman says: March 8, 2017 at 10:31 am

    BEST NAIL COLOUR.

  71. Allison Crow says: March 8, 2017 at 10:35 am

    http://www.campstarheart.com

  72. Mark J. Silverman says: March 8, 2017 at 10:36 am

    I have sent clients and friends to spend time wit Allison Crow and CO and they come back….Transformed…Forever.

    • Allison Crow says: March 8, 2017 at 4:45 pm

      Love you so much Mark J. Silverman

  73. Melanie Schroeder says: March 8, 2017 at 10:36 am

    #PrayerFlags

  74. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Allison- WHEN you do CSH next year, please consult me about the dates? ?? I NEED to come and last year and again this year, I can’t ?

  75. Lauren Bloch DelGandio says: March 8, 2017 at 4:39 pm

    Allison- WHEN you do CSH next year, please consult me about the dates I NEED to come and last year and again this year, I can’t

  76. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Hello, you look beautiful Allison! Your curls look fab today!?

  77. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:00 pm

    Hello, you look beautiful Allison! Your curls look fab today!

  78. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Amazing powerful stuff! ???

  79. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:05 pm

    Amazing powerful stuff!

  80. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Perspective is key to your power!❀❀❀❀

  81. Angela Paris says: March 8, 2017 at 6:07 pm

    Perspective is key to your power!

  82. Kay Parker Blond says: March 8, 2017 at 8:03 pm

    Hello Ladies, catching the replay.

    • Varian Brandon says: March 9, 2017 at 2:52 am

      Hey Kay!!

  83. Rebecca Davidson says: March 8, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Is my back against a wall? Awesome perspective.

  84. Rebecca Davidson says: March 8, 2017 at 10:22 pm

    ahhh, love you babes

  85. Kay Parker Blond says: March 8, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    Excellent perspective on perspective.

  86. Deborah Young says: March 9, 2017 at 5:41 am

    Wow.. love this!!

  87. Deborah Young says: March 9, 2017 at 5:42 am

    Yes… you are definitely a channel of love Allison Crow!

    • Varian Brandon says: March 9, 2017 at 6:45 am

      She SO is!!

  88. JC Williams says: March 11, 2017 at 6:28 am

    beautiful wise words Varian…and I feel so often like you Allison, that I want to try and help everyone and end up so frustrated, heart-broken…You are so brave Allison sharing YOU with US…you ladies have really hit home for me..still listening on the repeat, and still about 40 mins to go, but what Varian just said, was spirit sent..thank you to you both….<3

  89. JC Williams says: March 11, 2017 at 7:31 am

    beautiful ladies..feel honored to have listened to you both. Heartfelt thank you. <3

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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