Allison Crow

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What to do when someone in your world bugs/triggers/bores you…..this could also be called..how to 10X your value and happiness in any situation.

April 14, 2019

What to do when someone in your world bugs/triggers/bores you…..
this could also be called..how to 10X your value and happiness in any situation.

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs💛Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: BLBW EP 42: What To Do When Someone Bugs/ Bores/ Annoys You
next article: What do you want to become? Stories of becoming!

Comments

  1. Christina Lord says: April 5, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    Live live live ???

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:38 pm

      Christina Lord yeah baby! Happy Friday night.

  2. Christina Lord says: April 5, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    Live live live

  3. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Hello it’s Christy and I’m seeing you live??????

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:41 pm

      Christi N. HGauther thanks for watching.

    • Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:43 pm

      Allison Crow, thank you!?

  4. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Hello it’s Christy and I’m seeing you live

    • Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:43 pm

      Allison Crow, thank you!

  5. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: April 5, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Hi there. Happy Friday!

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:41 pm

      Lauren Stepanek Holder happy Friday.

  6. Christy Chick Nash says: April 5, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Christy Chick Nash Soulie Apprentice in the house ?

  7. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    I’m going to tell you a secret, husband is dot-dot-dot

  8. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    And me from time to time

  9. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: April 5, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    Hold up that mirror!

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Lauren Stepanek Holder you got it!

  10. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:23 pm

    When one door opens another door closes, cuz I’m sorry for that time,

  11. Rebecca Hamilton says: April 5, 2019 at 9:24 pm

    Focus. Is. Everything.

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Rebecca Hamilton yes. And so many run from the discomfort vs dig for value. I will, I WILL find gold in the shit ?.

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Rebecca Hamilton yes. And so many run from the discomfort vs dig for value. I will, I WILL find gold in the shit .

  12. Michelle Bastian says: April 5, 2019 at 9:25 pm

    I love this perspective. And to dig deep in myself for what is bringing up the discomfort.

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:39 pm

      Michelle Bastian yes. We can be with the discomfort

    • Michelle Bastian says: April 5, 2019 at 9:40 pm

      Allison Crow I am learning this. And just talked about something similar with another coach yesterday!!

  13. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    My mother, Mary L Hagan helped me a lot to listen and it is amazing thing to be quiet and listen

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:38 pm

      Christi N. HGauther I love Mimi Hagan

    • Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:41 pm

      Allison Crow, she is an amazing mother thank God gave me more than I could ever ask for, I love her too…
      And I’m blessed to seizure video today and would have to learn it is more of a reminder to listen at times then to be thinking of what you’re going to talk about and button them. I want to thank you for always helping for always reminding and that times for being there with others, you are an amazing woman and thank you so much…??

    • Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:41 pm

      Allison Crow, she is an amazing mother thank God gave me more than I could ever ask for, I love her too…
      And I’m blessed to seizure video today and would have to learn it is more of a reminder to listen at times then to be thinking of what you’re going to talk about and button them. I want to thank you for always helping for always reminding and that times for being there with others, you are an amazing woman and thank you so much…

      • Christi N. HGauther says: April 6, 2019 at 5:12 pm

        Allison Crow, oh no!….
        Mimi Hagan… you had her right.

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      Christi N. HGauther Is Mary a Different mother?

    • Christi N. HGauther says: April 6, 2019 at 5:12 pm

      Allison Crow, oh no!….
      Mimi Hagan… you had her right. ??

    • Mimi Hagan says: April 6, 2019 at 10:23 pm

      Allison Crow, Mary was the name my parents gave me. Mimi is the name my 2 yr old brother gave me. And that one stuck.

  14. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you thank you thank you so much because it’s more of a reminder to listen at times then? to talk.?

  15. Christi N. HGauther says: April 5, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you thank you thank you so much because it’s more of a reminder to listen at times then to talk.

  16. Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 9:38 pm

    Soulie in the house!

  17. Michelle Bastian says: April 5, 2019 at 9:41 pm

    Love love love this.

  18. Tracey Lee Wallace says: April 5, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    What I dont like in others I dont like in myself.

  19. Tracey Lee Wallace says: April 5, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    W00T Connection is my Highest Power ?

  20. Tracey Lee Wallace says: April 5, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    W00T Connection is my Highest Power

  21. Tracey Lee Wallace says: April 5, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    I Love you Boo!

  22. Melissa Kelley says: April 5, 2019 at 10:45 pm

    Replay ?

  23. Diane Reiner says: April 5, 2019 at 10:48 pm

    Watching replay:)

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Diane Reiner hi ??

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Diane Reiner hi

  24. Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Tracey Lee Wallace. I’m talking bout you. ???

    • Tracey Lee Wallace says: April 5, 2019 at 9:49 pm

      Imma watching the replay right meow!

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 10:04 pm

      Tracey Lee Wallace thank you for being an awesome teacher in my life. Both in the easy for me ways and the ways I get uncomfortable

  25. Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Tracey Lee Wallace. I’m talking bout you.

  26. Tanja Rieck says: April 5, 2019 at 11:01 pm

    Replay…loved this…thanks

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Tanja Rieck my pleasure!

  27. Rick Trevino says: April 5, 2019 at 11:02 pm

    Replay!!!

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:15 pm

      Rick Trevino thanks for stopping in.

  28. Annette Stahl says: April 5, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    Amazing how curiosity opens us to insights and how those around us will mirror our places to grow. Love how you explained holding space and letting go of the styrofoam at top. Great insight on growth comes from the itch and getting curious about it.

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm

      Annette Stahl it’s been a hard one for me to learn because I was so stubborn…. and praying for an open heart …. it opened and I found gold ☮️

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm

      Annette Stahl it’s been a hard one for me to learn because I was so stubborn…. and praying for an open heart …. it opened and I found gold

    • Annette Stahl says: April 5, 2019 at 11:59 pm

      Allison Crow love the prayer for an open heart! I feel like I’m just trying to keep fucking going – open heart feels like a better vibration. You are amazing – sending you big loves and hug!

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 12:05 am

      Annette Stahl big love and hugs to you. Open heart is my one moment at a time mantra. And my word of the year—- for the last 5 years. You’ve been through a lot. Be tender, rest…. and keep gently going.

  29. Kathryn Stanley-Hart says: April 5, 2019 at 11:58 pm

    Reply ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 5, 2019 at 11:59 pm

      Kathryn Stanley-Hart Soulie Shout Out!

  30. Rebecca Chambliss says: April 6, 2019 at 12:50 am

    It’s SOOOO uncomfortable but the gold is on the other side I’m finding out?

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 1:03 am

      Rebecca Chambliss seriously this is where the juice is!!! Through the excruciating discomfort.

  31. Rebecca Chambliss says: April 6, 2019 at 12:50 am

    It’s SOOOO uncomfortable but the gold is on the other side I’m finding out

  32. Kimberly Gypsy LoSavio says: April 6, 2019 at 1:24 am

    Replay ????

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:02 am

      Kimberly Gypsy LoSavio hello! ??

    • Kimberly Gypsy LoSavio says: April 6, 2019 at 2:28 am

      Allison, I love you????????

  33. Marcia Gladwin says: April 6, 2019 at 1:54 am

    Great t shirt and life slogan” Check Yourself before You Wreck Yourself”

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:02 am

      Marcia Gladwin its from a 90s rap song ????

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:02 am

      Marcia Gladwin its from a 90s rap song

    • Vanessa Kinsey says: April 6, 2019 at 4:10 am

      Marcia Gladwin https://youtu.be/cJruPqjYTDE

    • Vanessa Kinsey says: April 6, 2019 at 4:12 am

      oh man Allison Crow – man I love that song! Dancing in my bed!

  34. Diane Reiner says: April 6, 2019 at 3:21 am

    That is me I become passive when dealing with people

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 11:20 am

      Diane Reiner no everyone is worthy of your rumble. But some are. Sitting with the discomfort is where the gold is.

  35. Colette Nies says: April 6, 2019 at 6:02 am

    I get inflamed by incompetence

  36. Colette Nies says: April 6, 2019 at 6:19 am

    Fabulous video. Thanks for sharing

  37. Mandy Lehto says: April 6, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Replayer! ??⭐️?

  38. Saeri Wilde says: April 6, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Fuuuuuuck yes ???

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      Saeri Wilde Soulie shout out.

  39. Saeri Wilde says: April 6, 2019 at 8:38 am

    Fuuuuuuck yes

  40. Jody Caunter Garcia says: April 6, 2019 at 8:53 am

    ???? drop that wisdom – ugh ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      Jody Caunter Garcia Soulie shout out! ?

  41. Jody Caunter Garcia says: April 6, 2019 at 8:53 am

    drop that wisdom – ugh

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      Jody Caunter Garcia Soulie shout out!

  42. Jody Caunter Garcia says: April 6, 2019 at 9:17 am

    It’s such hard work – yet so freeing.

  43. Karen Schlaegel says: April 6, 2019 at 11:30 am

    This has resonated so much! I’ve been feeling so angry all week … Thank you for sharing!

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 11:47 am

      Karen Schlaegel gold, baby, gold! Deep breaths. Anger I see you. And now I am listening!

      Ps. I get pissy all the time.

    • Karen Schlaegel says: April 6, 2019 at 12:17 pm

      Allison Crow I was so focused on trying NOT to be angry instead of first accepting the anger and then consequently understanding it better.

  44. Mary Dixon says: April 6, 2019 at 12:00 pm

    Love the insight about feeling bugged by your friend asking for help and seeing where you weren’t good at that yourself. That is probably one for many people. Good episode. 🙂

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      Mary Dixon thank you. ???

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:06 pm

      Mary Dixon thank you.

  45. Mandy Lehto says: April 6, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    Herbie’s barking, hearing your dogs on the replay ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Mandy Lehto ? Leroy and pals say hello to Herbie.

  46. Mandy Lehto says: April 6, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    Herbie’s barking, hearing your dogs on the replay

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Mandy Lehto Leroy and pals say hello to Herbie.

  47. Mandy Lehto says: April 6, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Such a good practice, Allison. Learning this too. Takes ages! But getting easier. ♥️

  48. Mandy Lehto says: April 6, 2019 at 12:28 pm

    Such a good practice, Allison. Learning this too. Takes ages! But getting easier.

  49. Alisia Krastel says: April 6, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    That’s an amazing trait for her to love herself and ask for what she wants. Oooooo…. that strikes a chord.

  50. Alisia Krastel says: April 6, 2019 at 1:19 pm

    There is always one person.

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:04 pm

      Alisia Krastel always. And there is always more gold to dig for!

  51. Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:05 pm

    Tiffany Weiss Soulie shout out! ?

  52. Jody Caunter Garcia says: April 6, 2019 at 2:11 pm

    Every time you talk about this I think about the ‘They are an asshole! Oh wait. I’m the asshole!’

    • Alisia Krastel says: April 6, 2019 at 2:12 pm

      Jody Caunter Garcia hahha!!!! Me too

  53. Lashish Boxell-Jacobs says: April 6, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    When someone annoys me it’s usually because they are mirroring a behavior in me that I don’t like about myself. It took me years to figure that out and for me personally, it is always the TRUTH. But, sometimes it’s hard to admit that to myself.

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 2:41 pm

      I know!!! Me too!

  54. Lashish Boxell-Jacobs says: April 6, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    This is my favorite live this week!

  55. Amy Logan says: April 6, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Replay ? (am I still a soulie) ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 4:22 pm

      Amy Logan we miss you. Soulie Alum Shout Out.

  56. Amy Logan says: April 6, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Replay (am I still a soulie)

  57. Kimberley Szuta says: April 6, 2019 at 4:12 pm

    Truth!!

  58. Kimberley Szuta says: April 6, 2019 at 4:16 pm

    Time for growth!!

  59. Kimberley Szuta says: April 6, 2019 at 4:17 pm

    $10k self-development lesson. ?

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 4:22 pm

      Kimberley Szuta worth every penny for a lifetime of sanity.

    • Kimberley Szuta says: April 6, 2019 at 4:26 pm

      Allison Crow totally agree!!

  60. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: April 6, 2019 at 9:53 pm

    I totally struggle with this with some friends/acquaintances and realize it’s often because I see them asking/taking what they want where as I hesitate to do the same for myself.

    • Allison Crow says: April 6, 2019 at 10:10 pm

      Michelle McMahon Stephens I so feel you. Let’s get better at it together.

  61. Deborah Bien-Aime says: April 6, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    #replay Hey Allison!

  62. Deborah Bien-Aime says: April 6, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    That’s good! When you’re triggered get curious about you.

  63. Amanda Gail says: April 6, 2019 at 10:46 pm

    #replay ❤️

  64. Vanessa Kinsey says: April 7, 2019 at 1:12 am

    ? replay ?

  65. Steph Levine says: April 11, 2019 at 1:00 pm

    I love this

  66. Steph Levine says: April 11, 2019 at 1:10 pm

    ???replay

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝—they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful parts—my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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