Allison Crow

Humaning

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Achievement and Success, Biz Secrets, Coaching, FB Live, Mindset and Thinking, Money

Beliefs that aren’t useful: Friends get my services for free.

February 25, 2020

Beliefs that aren’t useful: Friends get my services for free.

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: Identity – or the goal?
next article: Live Recording of Episode 87: What I’m supposed to talk about and what I’m gonna talk about.

Comments

  1. M.A. Goldman says: February 25, 2020 at 3:58 pm

    Morning beautiful.

  2. Sonja Dagny Yago says: February 25, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    Thank you, Allison, for this live!

  3. Sonja Dagny Yago says: February 25, 2020 at 4:00 pm

    Have a call scheduled now. Will catch the recording.

  4. Steph Levine says: February 25, 2020 at 4:07 pm

    Yessss!! The exchange of Nyla creates magic in both friendโ€™s biz

    • Allison Crow says: February 25, 2020 at 4:23 pm

      Yes it does!

  5. Steph Levine says: February 25, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Mula not Nyla

  6. Richard Morgan says: February 25, 2020 at 4:18 pm

    I didnโ€™t get my services for free.

    • Allison Crow says: February 25, 2020 at 4:19 pm

      yep! and we are friends! Love and appreciate you – as a friend and as a professional client.

  7. Ana Caragea says: February 25, 2020 at 4:19 pm

    big hugs!!

  8. Megan Winkler says: February 25, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    Great message, Allison Crow! Thank you

  9. Diane Reiner says: February 25, 2020 at 8:07 pm

    Thanks I feel some guilt that I have not signed up to work with you yet. Not at that place financially but your program will be my reward after I get through the hard stuff.

    • Allison Crow says: February 26, 2020 at 1:08 am

      Diane Reiner all in perfect time. I am happy to create free content here and on my podcast. It is my gift offering to show up for YOU and for me/my biz. I know not everyone wants or needs to work w me as a client. No guilt needed. You donโ€™t ask me for my paid content for freeeeee! You enjoy what I give freely.

  10. Marcie Whitaker Thompson says: February 26, 2020 at 1:18 am

    Know your worth!

  11. Marcie Whitaker Thompson says: February 26, 2020 at 1:18 am

    Also I love supporting my friends businesses!!

  12. Debra Thain says: February 26, 2020 at 4:02 am

    Alison! I listened and I loved the topic! I love you! โค๏ธ

  13. Debra Thain says: February 26, 2020 at 4:02 am

    Alison! I listened and I loved the topic! I love you!

  14. Kristen Kosinski says: February 26, 2020 at 7:29 am

    If I didn’t charge my friends, I wouldn’t be making any money!!!

  15. Corry Ann Mendoza says: January 10, 2022 at 9:07 pm

    This was extremely valuable! Thank you!

    • Allison Crow says: January 10, 2022 at 9:28 pm

      Corry Ann Mendoza also just did a shorter one for you all

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๐Ÿ’›IFS coaching for life/biz
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๐Ÿ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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