Allison Crow

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Better Life Better Work Show, Client Stories, Coaching, Conversations, Emotions, Internal Family Systems, Life, Life Coaching, Live Coaching Session, Personal, Personal Growth, Podcast

Parts Work with Joelle Bohart – A Live Coaching Session

August 29, 2021

Today is a peak into a private one on one coaching session with my long time client Joelle Bohart.  This podcast and post is shared with full permission.

Joelle and I met many years ago back in the real estate days. She was a client back then for learning how to be a productivity coach and she has been a member of Soulies for a very long time… since the early days… and she is also a part of my Spark, Unhustle, and Flow Women’s Circle. 

Joelle and I have had many conversations about the relationship she’s had with her mom and the way she grew up. When I first met Joelle in real estate she was really putting on this perfectionist look right, be right, do right persona that wasn’t the authentic Joelle. 

She let go of that lady, let her hair go wild and curly, and started wearing colorful clothes and it’s been beautiful to watch her journey. In he last 3 years she was one of the top 10 globally in her real estate company. 

She’s been in Real Estate for 25-30 years and is also a certified Qoya teacher.

She and her husband moved this month from CA to TX, they sold their home and moved across the country to create a new life in Texas. Joelle is at a new space in her life where she doesn’t know if she’s going to pick up real estate here or completely reinvent herself and she’s giving herself permission to explore and create and just be but she’s also moved her Mother to Texas with her. 

Imagine a move across the country, a new city, and doing all the things you have to do including building a new house and temporarily living in a rental house. All these outer stimulations are causing some turbulence. 

So we pick up today with some very sweet parts work where we are not only acknowledging the inner child in her we are working with the relationship with her mother, which can be derogatory and reminded Joelle of when she was little.

We are helping her to get back to self-trust and self-leadership and soothing the parts of her that are feeling tender and frustrated and protected. 

 

Thank you, Joelle, for sharing so openly as you work through your burdens.  

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Soulies Self-Leadership Society:
https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/

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πŸ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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