Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, Better Life Better Work Show, Podcast, Recovering Overachiever, Soul-Full Living

BLBW Ep #15: John Steven Cisneros: Breaking Free From a Segmented Life, Redemption, Quilted Spirituality, and The Ultimate Kindness

May 15, 2017

In this episode, I have a conversation with one of my former bosses— from 17 years ago.  John Cisneros was the Catholic principal at St. Austin Catholic School where I was a  non-catholic teacher and technology coordinator. Neither of us is the same person we were back then.

Listen in to the story of leaving – or getting tossed out of – an empty and completely segmented life – and the journey through redemption to the ultimate kindness.  

John’s story reminds us that authentic living can’t be done while we shut a part of ourselves off due to pride or shame and that even with great loss and mistake, redemption and a new life await, and that kindness is the ultimate religion. 

 

John Steven Cisneros, Ph.D.  specializes in assisting doctoral students through their dissertation journey.He engages them on their journey as needed.He is also prepared to provide services from proposal preparation to successful dissertation final defense. His clients represent colleges and universities from around the country.

He can be reached at jschouston@gmail.com
Or, via Facebook. Messenger. https://www.facebook.com/johnsteven.cisneros


 

 

 

 

 

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs💛Author, Art, & Dogs

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Comments

  1. Dave says: May 16, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    After years, Mr C continues to teach us all . . . through word and deed!

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝—they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful parts—my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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