Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, Alignment, Authentic Leadership, Better Life Better Work Show, Coaching, Conversations, Leadership, Life, Life Coaching, Mindset and Thinking, Personal, Personal Growth, Podcast, Self Leadership, Soul-Work

Lessons from 18 Years in Business

September 12, 2021

Welcome to episode 150 (159 really): 

This is a landmark episode. and it falls on the week of a landmark anniversary for me in business. 18 years of working for myself. How on earth did that happen?  As you will hear in this episode, one lesson at a time! 

But first…. Soul-Full Business owners, I want to thank you.  If you are new to the Better Life Better Work Show thank you and welcome. I know this isn’t a traditional podcast – and most of I all thank you for getting my unconventional ways.  My listeners and clients are experts in Borrowed Insight… I know you can hear a story and pull the pieces relevant to your own heart.  And if you’ve been here since the shaky, shitty beginnings 5 and a half years ago- extra thank you for sticking with me through the evolution.

Evolution – that’s is what it is all about, right?  Owning your own business is one of the greatest gold mines for personal growth. Today’s episode is a list of the overarching lessons of each year in business.  I invite you to do two things with this episode.  One – as I share my lessons, listen for your own.  Perhaps ours are similar or they overlap.  Notice the themes and how they align with the phases of business.  Launch, Growth and Achievement.

2nd…after the episode – take some time and map out YOUR years in business.  Make a list of YOUR big lessons. Notice your own accomplishments and how far you have come! Most of my achievement-level clients – the sisters in Spark, UNhustle, and Flow – have super successful businesses, and often they forget to remember how skilled and accomplished they really are.  You deserve to give your self credit, take stock, and fill your own bucket for the journey ahead. 

Finally, Know that in 2003 – I never anticipated being in business for myself.  I never expected to be even working a job (I always thought I would be a wife and mom and raise 5 kids) and here I am 2 marriages, zero pregnancies, and 5 incarnations of business later,

In September 2003,  when my husband of 2 years left… what was a WHIM – getting my real estate license- became the hard left turn to the work of my heart.  

Interesting to see…the early years were survival mode and fast skill-building. The middle years…growth and sustainability -figuring out how to BE ME… and the most recent years….depth, slowing down, self-trust & solidify.

Here are my OVERARCHING lessons of each year (certainty not the ONLY lessons):

2003 – Show Up For EVERYTHING – Negotiate for yourself from the start.

2004 – No Option B – Failure is not an option

2005 – Learn and master sales skills and time on task- do the boring shit. Relationship sales are way more pleasurable than cold calling.  Think smoking weed and drinking beer on the lake and match.com -great lead sources when you are single and in your early 30s!

2006 – You must believe in yourself – no one else can do it for you. Unconventional, no matter how successful, is frowned upon by many, -trust yourself anyway – reinvent the model.

2007 – Make it up and learn what you need to know. Relentlessly pursue the learning – teaching sales and marketing solidified my skills. 

2008 – What is working for the ones who succeed AND are happy: Inner work is where the successful people spend their energy and then they go do the task without question

2009 – Have a coach in your sphere have a coach out of your sphere – beware cult mentality.

2010 – Desconstruct automatic authority and find your own personal power, authority, and loyalty

2011 – Bet on yourself over and over

2012 – What is on your to FEEL LIST

2013 – Back to Basics – time on task, love on people connection & creation over transaction and production

2014 – Be You – Strip Down to your authentic self – you will find your people

2015 – A 40 something body will not tolerate bypassing and depressing down important work – no matter how fabulous your business and offers are on the outside.

2016 – Art heals – it shows you everything. Profit First and save for taxes with every single income deposit.

2017 – One thing

2018 – Sustainable over Stupendous sparkly bullshit

2019- Own Your Credibility

2020 – No more bypassing – FEEL IT ALL

2021  Self-Leadership and Emotional Management -When I was young I felt old and wise, and the older I get the younger and newer I feel.

I can’t wait to see what unfolds next.

Love,

Allison

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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