Are you hiding? Is your invisibility holding you back?
Transcript from Live Video Recording:
What’s up, people? Allison Crow, your favorite life coach.
$47,000, bitches. I want to tell you a story, and this is for you… This is about visibility. Let me fix my very sexy bangs with my new gray highlights. Here’s the deal. In all these years, all these years, one of the biggest issues my clients have is this visibility piece, especially on social media. We’re like, “Oh, my god. Somebody might see me.” Maybe you walk out of your house and go, “Oh, my god, somebody might see me,” but the reality is what is it about social media that we’re all getting this comparison thing?
I want to tell you a story way back from my early days of social media, and I want to give you some permission to quit sitting behind your doubt. “What if my Aunt Sally sees me? What if somebody doesn’t agree with me? What if somebody thinks I’m whatever?” The reality is when you sit and hold on to your doubt and you stop your visibility, you are taking away your gift that you have to give to other people.
A long time ago when social media first started, I was a very early adopter. I’m a big computer nerd, always have been. A long time ago, when I was leaving Keller Williams as a coach and starting my own coaching company for that summer, I sold real estate again for the last time. In three months, I sold a ton of real estate. What was funny was Facebook was new. Remember when Facebook, it was like “Allison is,” and so it’d say, “Allison is sitting in Garage Flantastic,” which is what we called our garage at our old house, “drinking a beer with her husband.” “Allison is….” I’d have pictures of dogs, and I would be all coachy, like the voice of the woman from 2008, ’09, ’10 that said these things – it is so weird. It’s out there if you look for it. But she would say these things, and she was inspiring, and she would do this, and she would do that.
At the time, there was only one other Keller Williams on social media. This is a company at the time of 95,000 agents, and there are two of us on social media. One of them I had never actually met in person, even though we were coaches for the same organization, but she and I connected on social media, this thing. I’m like, “Oh, here’s my margarita. Oh, here’s my coachy stuff. Oh, here’s my dogs.” I’m just being me. Just being me.
This agent sent me a message, “Hey, I have a referral from you from an agent in my office.”
She lived in Nashville, Tennessee. A Nashville, Tennessee agent hooks me up with her referral, who is a family coming from South Africa. They are migrating their entire family, so the grandparents, kids, families, and grandchildren. They bought a bunch of houses in Nashville, but they bought three in Austin, Texas. I will never forget someone in those very early days in person saying to me, “Gee, you sure post a lot on social media,” and I just looked at them, and said, “$47,000, bitches,” being funny, obviously. I mean I’m not one to cuss somebody out anymore, but I was like, “$47,000, one month. Would you? Would you?”
Here’s what’s funny. I wrote $47,000 worth of business this October. Collected 22,000 by showing up, by sharing my heart, by showing my work, by being willing to be, I know I’m a coke. Kook. I’m a coke. I do not do coke. I drink Diet Coke sometimes, but I don’t do coke. Never have. I know I’m a kook. I know I have typos. I am just being myself. Yourself is enough to come out from behind your doubt and share your heart and show your work.
Tracy Lee. Tracy Lee loves Halloween. She put her cute little Halloween feet up there. I don’t care what it is, but it’s so funny how I talked to so many people that are small business owners… so if… I mean, this is in the context of business, people can be so terrified of being visible, and yet, they want to build a business. They want to build a coaching business, they want to build a real estate business, they want to build an art business, but they want to do it from inside the closet.
I am so sorry. You do not get paid for being in the closet. You do not get paid… if you want to get paid for being behind the scenes, there are so many companies where you can be an employee behind the scenes, but if you’re a small independent business, you are front lines, baby. If you are on front lines and you are hiding, we have a massive problem. Well, I don’t because I show up every single day, so my bank account and how I feel when I lay my head on my pillow reflect that.
I joke with the “$47,000 bitches,” but in your mind, I want you to figure out what do you have to believe if, to you, somebody said, “Why are you online so much? I can’t believe you talk about this. You’re weird. Are you doing all that coachy shit?” “Okay, you can make fun of me all you want. Did you write $47,000 in business being a one-man shop last month?”
The other thing I want to tell you, I asked a client who’s working with some vulnerability stuff, and she’s been doing a lot of work for somebody else, and it’s time for her to do her thing, put her work out there and share. I know we are all connected to via social media. Exactly. Listen, my ego thinks my high school boyfriend might watch this and think, “Oh, my god, that’s Allison.” My high school boyfriend ain’t watching this shit, and the one that did was like, “I never asked you out, but I wanted to.”
Quit believing the worst stories. Do you know that Oprah has haters? I asked my client who is somebody in leadership development that she looks up to and she would love to spend a weekend learning about life, business, anything that leader could teach them. Her answer was Martha Beck. I said, “Do you know that Martha Beck has haters? Her whole first book is about that.” I think it’s her first book. It’s the book that Martha Beck wrote about leaving the Mormon church. Of course, she has haters. Oprah has haters.
Whoever you look up to do, you realize that you look up to them, you see them as amazing, you see them as human and whatever, they have haters. Are you willing to have haters for your own dream? Here’s what’s funny. I think it’s Brené Brown that’s, maybe she said it in one of her books, but the people that are going to criticize you, even at your Thanksgiving dinner or your family thing, they’re not doing their thing.
Yes, when you do your thing, people going to say something. Big fucking deal. Who cares? Stop caring. This is your life, your dream, your business, your personality. When you sit in your doubt, like, “I have all these things to say, but what if somebody sees it?” What if, by you hiding, you are hoarding the gift that you were here to give.
I am not saying that the fear ever goes away. Jump over the fear. We call it doubt-hopping, thanks to my former client, Rebecca. She calls it doubt hopping. Have a doubt? Ah, what the fuck, let’s do it anyways.
I know that you know someone’s going to have a weird conversation at Thanksgiving because you did a live stream. Most of my family doesn’t even watch my lives. My mother does. If they want to say something about it, it’s fine. You know what? I am here doing my thing, creating my life, serving my clients, loving on y’all, loving on myself, and running my business like a mofo. Anybody that’s… It was funny. I went to the Rolodex in my head because I have had my share of haters. I’ve had my share of weird snarky comments. I’ve had my share of quitters. I’ve been fired many times, and it’s all okay. It’s all okay. You’re resilient, but what’s not okay is to rot behind the scenes in unmet desires and dreams, to sit there waiting.
I realize you’re all like a little kid with its toes over the diving board, going to jump in the deep water, and then once you finally jump in the deep water, and you’re like “$47,000, bitches.
New friends! I met my bestie because of this stupid stuff.” I am running my business like a mofo. I’m doing it my weird, awkward way, and your way works. I don’t care what your way of being visible and loving on your people is, if you do it, it works. Be visible and love on your people. Frontward facing. You can have a dream in one of these books all day long, but if you don’t get visible, it ain’t never going to happen. Never going to happen.
I know that there is a lot of trauma around visibility. Y’all, there’s trauma around everything. There’s trauma around everything. You know how you get through it. All your things, but you don’t just get through it here. Last week, a couple of my clients kept… they didn’t even know they were doing it. They were like, “I’m all here.” (Hands framing the head signifying from the head-up). Get out of here and get into your body. You know what being visible is? You know what taking a risk and going online or going in public or hitting the live button is? Like Alyssa (live stream viewer), she does these YouTube things. I totally want to be on YouTube. Not to be a YouTube star, but my god, if I can give you permission, and I want to tell you, people are not paying for your perfection. That’s bullshit. Get visible.
The last three people that hired me have all told me they hired me because of my bullshit. They did not say, “I’m hiring you because you’re the best or because you’re so perfectly professional.” One of them said, “I hired you because of your fucked up extra-extra.” They hired me because of my humanity, and so quit worrying that your humanity is going to offend somebody. Tell them to go fuck themselves. Seriously, you are laying in your bed with your head on your pillow going, “I want to, but… I want to, but… ” stop it. Stop it, please. How much fun can you have?
Do you know what’s so fun? I’m really speaking to the growth and achievement phase people, and maybe brand new. I don’t know. When I was brand new, I was so excited. I was just running because I was fueled by the excitement. What happens after you lose your early excitement in your business, whatever your business is, you lose… once you’ve built the skill, there’s not that excitement in your body anymore. Once you build that, you lose this excitement, so it starts to feel like monotony because you forgot. If you’re working for yourself and you’re feeling flat, I want you to go to LinkedIn right now, and I want you to see what jobs you match for. I really want you to go and look at those jobs, and I want you to imagine yourself…
Bill and I did this a few years ago. We were living in Denton. I had a really, really big year, and I had a 40, again, another $47,000… 47 comes up a lot. I love $47,000. I had a $47,000 tax bill. I hadn’t saved for it. I was like, “I just had the best year, but I didn’t put away for taxes.” I sat down, and I was like, “How can I solve this problem? Can I make the money?” Part of me was just so tired. I was sick at the time, and I was like, “Okay, maybe I just need to go get a job.” I started thinking that out, like I’ll fold the doors of the coaching business, and I’ll go get a job. What job would I get hired for really high money? Sales. Sales. Whether it’s selling real estate or selling something for somebody else, I would get hired for sales.
Then I thought, “Well, here’s what happens in sales. They give me a quota, and they let me keep 40% of it if I’m lucky. They get to keep 60%, and they decide who, when, where.” I was like, “Oh, I’m in the sales business. Why would I settle for that?” It became so much more fun to get excited about the fact that I have autonomy, I can use social media, I can be myself. Do you know that at my old company, I’d make these jokes. I did not use my foul language like I use now, but I would make these jokes. I literally was in a dance party and got pulled out of a dance party by the bosses and my wrist physically slapped. “I can’t believe you told that joke. We didn’t think it was funny. Gary Keller won’t think it’s funny.”
I thought it was funny. The room laughed. I guarantee you got more business because of me being me instead of me being a douche bag that acts perfectly. None of you all are perfect. You’re human, and your service and your skill is rotting because you won’t put your humanness out in front of the world. Take a risk. It doesn’t mean anything because there’s a light. See, look, you can see the lights. Because there’s a light, because there’s a camera, and because there’s a microphone, why do we all of a sudden makeup that is has to be so perfect?
What’s funny is those of you who have spent time with me in person, this is exactly how I is, this is exactly how I is in person? (incorrect grammar intentional). This is exactly how I am in person, and that’s all I’m asking you or encouraging you. I can’t ask you. I can’t ask you, but I want to encourage you to quit being invisible. Take a risk for yourself, for your dreams, for your life, for what you want to create, or go get a job.
There’s nothing wrong with having a job, but if you choose freedom, then choose freedom. Don’t just choose. Choose the freedom of being self-employed. Choose the freedom to be yourself. Make yourself unemployable. One of the reasons I keep cussing, A, it’s a bad habit, but B, I don’t want to be tempted to be employed.
I laughed yesterday. I got an email from, I think it was Refinery29. They do these articles in Austin, Texas. Refinery29 I think it is a coworking space, and they were like, “There was a 31-year-old girl,” they do these money journals, “This 31-year-old girl is making $98,000 a year.” I might never have worked for myself if I had a job that paid me $98,000 a year. She was talking about her budget because we all know that when we work for ourselves, the gross amount we make has nothing to do with what we keep, but when you work for somebody else, guess what? That 98,000 is yours. If I only gross 98, dude, I’m not keeping hardly any of that.
It’s like, “Oh. Oh, I have this freedom.” Don’t waste your freedom by hiding. Don’t waste your freedom by overthinking. Get out into the world and share your heart, show your work, and love on your people. I am not selling anything today. I am just saying you cannot think your way to fulfilling your dreams. The more you sit around and worry about what Uncle Sally and Aunt Jim or your high school lover is going to say about you… I don’t know if Carolyn Robinson Stark is still here, but Carolyn Robinson Stark is my bonus kid’s grandmother. She’s so cute. She comes to my livestreams, and I could get all wigged out, but I think it’s so fun that Carolyn… I don’t know what Carolyn thinks about me. I’m a total kook, but I love being a kook.
I love who I am for me, I love who I am for my business, and I love who I am for my kids. I don’t have to be like everybody else in my family. I’m happy to be the one that is a nut job, but here’s the thing. It’s my nut job. Don’t waste your freedom. If you took this to be free, then give yourself the freedom, and part of the freedom is not in the time or the money or having the, “Oh, I don’t have to go into an office.” Give yourself the freedom to be you, your freedom to be yourself. Trust it. Give yourself permission to screw up.
Honestly, my client, Carolina, literally a couple of weeks ago before I made my $47,000 this month, my website got hacked. I got blacklisted, and my assistant fired me. I was like, “What do you do when everything falls apart and you want to quit?” Carolina hired me not because I was saying, “I can help you make money, I can help you do all this stuff.” She hired me because I said, “I feel like quitting, and I’m not going to.” I have depression. I have anxiety. I’ve been divorced. I, yesterday, wrote that post about how cute I was, and then for nine straight hours, I was in a fight with my internet provider Suddenlink. It’s still not over. So what? It’s all perfect. Quit hiding. Please be visible.
I need you to remember that Allison Crow has people that don’t resonate with her. That is so fine. Can I tell you, in all the years of clients I have offended or disappointed, I have one that breaks my heart that I wish I could make amends with her? One. Everybody else, bye-bye. Don’t let the door kick you in the ass. God bless you. Of all the people who have criticized, none of them were doing the work. None of them were doing the work. Get out there with your bad self. Let them criticize you. You bring it on. You think Oprah lays in bed and is like, “Allison’s husband Bill Flanigin n does not like me. I better keep my mouth quiet.” Do you think whoever, the leader sits around, and worries about who isn’t enamored with their visibility?
Do you think the person that you look up to, do you realize the person you look up to actually has haters, and do you think they’re laying their bed on their pillow? You Gary V.’s laying on his bed, on his pillow, worrying about somebody saying, “Oh, he says fuck too much. He’s not professional.” Click delete, bye. Go out there and be yourself.
I want you to turn on your light. I want you to be your freaky-deaky self. I want you to get out there. I want you to connect with your people. I want you to love on your people. I want you to share your heart. I want you to show your work. Get over your dang doubt and get to work. Do not take your freedom for granted. Don’t take your freedom for granted. Not everybody has clean laundry. Not everybody takes a poop in drinking water, and not everybody has permission and can make money giving their gift and being themselves. Go do it. I love you. Peace out, motherfuckers.