Allison Crow

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Authentic Leadership, Better Life Better Work Show, Conversations, Leadership, Life Coaching, Mindset and Thinking, Podcast

Behind the Scenes of a Leader Meltdown and the Light on the Other Side

April 12, 2020

Letโ€™s just take a collective deep breath. 

 

In. 

 

And out. 

 

Now take a moment to answer this question for yourself: what can happen when you let yourself fall apart?

This is the lesson Iโ€™ve been learning over the past few weeks and I have so much to share with you as I begin seeing the other side of this process.  

As someone who wants to be a leader that shows up from a perfectly imperfect place, Iโ€™m going to let you in on the behind the scenes of what my meltdown and processing has been like.

This episode is real, itโ€™s me opening up about chronic depression, fear, rage, why Iโ€™m pissed at positivity culture, wearing your heart on your sleeve, and honestly a lot more. 

If youโ€™ve been feeling any of this yourself or want some insights and tools for how to navigate these emotions as they pop up, tune in to this new episode. 

Itโ€™s a passionate one, weโ€™re living in a passionate time of life. I hope it resonates and of course, Iโ€™d love to know how you are holding up, leave me a comment or message on Instagram or Facebook to check in. 

 

Love, 

Your Favorite Life Coach, 

 

Allison Crow


PS- If you want to be a part of a community of Soulies who are committed to deep inner work, living their true stories, and creating sustainable and SoulFull business, I want to invite you to apply to become a member of Soul-Full Success, my coaching membership community where we get real about the mystic to the logistic. https://soulfullsuccess.live/purchase-life/ 

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previous article: Behind the Scenes of a Leader Meltdown: What happens when you let your self feel it all and fall apart.
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๐Ÿ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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