Allison Crow

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Let’s talk about confusion…..

March 7, 2018

Let’s talk about confusion…..

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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Comments

  1. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 2:58 pm

    I thought so!!

  2. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    Confusion was the predominant feeling of my childhood. So it is VERY triggering for me.

  3. Steph Levine says: March 7, 2018 at 3:00 pm

    I’m driving so I’ll squeeze my butt and legs -isagenix

  4. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    I am feeling a shift…but it is confusing…yes..

  5. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:03 pm

    My therapist says confusion is a cover for not wanting to take responsibility for what one is really feeling.

  6. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:04 pm

    I feel like I am on a direction….and than I am thinking of a new one (I did not share this on my post)….a lot is coming up….

  7. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:08 pm

    Yes, it’s not meant to make someone feel bad — it’s just to notice when we do that, it usually means there is something we don’t want to face.

  8. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:10 pm

    Having to change feel β€œshitty”…eg change the webpage, changing where I have been focus and where I want to focus…feels shitty

  9. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:11 pm

    so true…I think I was feeling that β€œI did not want to loose the momentum”…

  10. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:12 pm

    Wise mind – heart centered loving voice

  11. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:12 pm

    feeling and being vs thinking and doing

  12. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    shake it off shake it off

  13. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    that is the truth!!!!!

  14. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:13 pm

    If I don’t feel a feeling that needs to be felt, I end up quite drained usually. At some point I have to feel it.

  15. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:14 pm

    Tracey Lee’s #1 Pearl in my Toolbox “Better our than in.”

  16. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    I am going to do the card ….I think it will help

  17. Betsy Westfall says: March 7, 2018 at 3:16 pm

    so interesting…

  18. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    This THOUGHT MODEL is life changing!!! It kicks me out of the spin cycle!

  19. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    allow the feeling but you don’t have to believe the thought

  20. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:19 pm

    Mark Nepo tells us 100% of humans project. the ONLY differentiator is those of us who know that and those who do not.

  21. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    Being witnessed and tenderly held right where we are allows me to be in it and then it moves more smoothly.

  22. Mandy Marshall says: March 7, 2018 at 3:20 pm

    Oh yes, bumping up against what is REALLY inside

  23. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:21 pm

    like a smooth poop vs a painful one

  24. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    oh my old friend… confusion

  25. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Tracey Lee Wallace ?

  26. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:23 pm

    Tracey Lee Wallace

  27. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    ALL THE VOICES AND PARTS OF US ARE WAITING TO BE LOVED.

  28. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:24 pm

    yes deep listening

  29. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    celebrate our successes along the way!

  30. Jody Caunter Garcia says: March 7, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    Breathe y’all. #CoachAllison

  31. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    All is well. Remain calm.

  32. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:25 pm

    I think is the slow down that I need…slow down action, stay in β€œfeeling”…the feeling of the experience….

  33. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    yassssss maam

  34. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:26 pm

    Oh yes, slowing down is crucial. I have to do silent retreats a fair amount to get back to that. It’s beginning to become a habit now when something unpleasant happens, to just stop and breathe and be with it and see what I can do to let that feeling work its way out of my system.

  35. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    Contemporary life is SO speedy — when I’m at my home in NYC, I see how many people are moving through life at hyperspeed and I think that’s why there’s a coffee addiction in the US and so many other addictions too.

  36. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    We can FEEL them without suffering them when we CHOOSE to feel them on purpose.

  37. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    ????

  38. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:28 pm

    Life doesn’t have to be hard. We can choose grace and ease!

  39. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    Meditation helps me alot with this. I can go over my experiences and imagine a slower scenario.

  40. Cristina Palma says: March 7, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    going for an appointment now….but thank you SO MUCH!! will watch the rest after! love you Allison!

  41. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    YET

  42. Kathryn Stanley-Hart says: March 7, 2018 at 3:29 pm

    Paint the fence!

  43. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Meditation helps me reprogram myself to be able to make different choices in certain scenarios.

  44. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    Yes, exactly. I’ll imagine how I’d have liked to act over and over.

  45. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:30 pm

    The stars at night are big and bright (clap clap clap clap clap) deep in the <3 of Texas

  46. Leigh Helena Louise says: March 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Thank you so much, great to hear this and be part of this conversation.

  47. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:31 pm

    Who do i want to be in this? is a question I ask myself often.

  48. Helen May says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    Thanks Allison!β™‘β™‘

  49. Peggy Robinson says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    Lurking! Thanks for the great info… a lot to process!!! You SHINE!

  50. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    ⭐️?

  51. Michelle Penna Poole says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    Thank you, you were exactly what I needed today! ❀️

  52. Michelle Poole says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    Thank you, you were exactly what I needed today!

  53. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:33 pm

    ?β™₯️??

  54. Joelle Collins Bohart says: March 7, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    So looking for soothing

  55. Tracey Lee Wallace says: March 7, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Joelle soothing within your reach Love.

  56. Leslie Typrin says: March 7, 2018 at 3:35 pm

    Post the link for CSH and Soulfull Success please

  57. Michelle Jeanette says: March 7, 2018 at 5:42 pm

    Replay ?

  58. Michelle Jeanette says: March 7, 2018 at 5:46 pm

    Yes!!! Love that… The voice inside my heart? over the voices inside my head ?

  59. Ernie Ernestine Day says: March 7, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    OMG Alison what an important message you deliver about being or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you ??❀️ I Adore, I Appreciate and Love who you are and about. ?❀️

  60. Ernestine-Ernie Day says: March 7, 2018 at 5:55 pm

    OMG Alison what an important message you deliver about being or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you I Adore, I Appreciate and Love who you are and about.

  61. Michelle Jeanette says: March 7, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    ???

  62. Angela Paris says: March 7, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    Replay! Hello!❀

  63. Angela Paris says: March 7, 2018 at 6:47 pm

    Replay! Hello!

  64. Cara Wykowski says: March 7, 2018 at 11:09 pm

    Over gathering info = staying safe!

  65. Cara Wykowski says: March 7, 2018 at 11:22 pm

    I volunteer to talk about our critical voices….. and what they (really) represent.

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
Instagram post 18053763071158914 Instagram post 18053763071158914
Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
Instagram post 18052656569149431 Instagram post 18052656569149431
For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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