Allison Crow

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Of all the coaching modalities I use – this one blows my client’s minds the most.

May 17, 2018

Of all the coaching modalities I use – this one blows my client’s minds the most.
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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: Business Happy Hour…Insights are rolling in. How’s your brain? and can we talk Blueprints for a sec?
next article: 18 Years Ago – Under 30 Allison & How Life Is Different than You Planned

Comments

  1. Lisann Hougaard says: May 17, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    I love the example with traffic ?

  2. Lisann Hougaard says: May 17, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    I love the example with traffic

  3. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: May 17, 2018 at 4:50 pm

    Hey beautiful. Happy Thursday.

  4. Ana Caragea says: May 17, 2018 at 4:51 pm

    Hi Helen πŸ™‚

  5. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: May 17, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    So true. Our summers are brutal. When I whine about it, I swear it’s worse. That’s not a good option when it’s going to be 115 degrees daily for 3 months.

  6. Lisann Hougaard says: May 17, 2018 at 4:53 pm

    I actually use my reaction to the traffic like a thermometer – showing me what β€œstate” I am in at that particularly moment

  7. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    That used to be my hubbie Joe

  8. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:54 pm

    He’s much much better now!!

  9. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:55 pm

    Yesss!

  10. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    I love that – chilled and energised!!

  11. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    Yesss!!

  12. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 4:59 pm

    great reminder

  13. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    I have some thoughts about being tired

  14. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    If I get up early….I’m sure I’ll be tired later!?

  15. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    If I get up early….I’m sure I’ll be tired later!

  16. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:01 pm

    Like an expectation

  17. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:02 pm

    Most challenging part… thinking thoughts outside the emotional state we’re in. But so magic.

  18. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:03 pm

    Open to the feelings and sensations. Yeah, so smart and powerful.

  19. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Name it (and feel it) often will tame it

  20. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    Tame as in soften

  21. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:06 pm

    Feeling it and allowing it!!

  22. Helen May says: May 17, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    Wow!!

  23. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    I’m playing in that world too. Beyond my initial resistance ?

  24. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:09 pm

    I’m playing in that world too. Beyond my initial resistance

  25. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    My understanding is that it’ll take some time to find the sweet spot.

  26. Lisann Hougaard says: May 17, 2018 at 5:10 pm

    ?

  27. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:13 pm

    Broaden the circle. And a little courage πŸ™‚

  28. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:14 pm

    I’m with you!

  29. Ashlie Woods says: May 17, 2018 at 5:16 pm

    Have a great day :-*

  30. Michelle Bingamon says: May 17, 2018 at 10:23 pm

    Hello

  31. Rebecca Davidson says: May 18, 2018 at 4:29 pm

    hey AllieCrow!

  32. Rebecca Davidson says: May 18, 2018 at 4:30 pm

    You make me wanna drink a bud bottle on the porch with you!

  33. Rebecca Davidson says: May 18, 2018 at 4:43 pm

    I LOVE THAT! Will you teach me.

  34. Angela Paris says: May 18, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    Love this message!❀

  35. Angela Paris says: May 18, 2018 at 8:01 pm

    Love this message!

  36. Jacqui Bowman says: May 23, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Stephanie Watkins Hampton this is what i was referring to ❀️

  37. Jacqui Bowman says: May 23, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Stephanie Watkins Hampton this is what i was referring to

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πŸ’›IFS coaching for life/biz
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πŸ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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