Allison Crow

Humaning

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Uncategorized, Video

Rejection, Risks, Rants

September 23, 2016

Rejection, Risks, Rants…. and it really does all come to clarity towards the end.

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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Comments

  1. Colleen Voronel says: September 23, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    It’s SOoOo fucking hard. Isn’t a continual MIND FUCK?

  2. Cristina Palma says: September 23, 2016 at 5:30 pm

    “Brutiful”

    • Cristina Palma says: September 23, 2016 at 5:45 pm

      Is a concept from Glennon Doyle Melton

    • Cristina Palma says: September 23, 2016 at 5:46 pm

      “you cannot have the beautiful parts of life if you do not also accept the brutal parts…”

    • Cristina Palma says: September 23, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      from her book “Love Warrior”

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 5:49 pm

      Cristina Palma yes. I am reading it too.

  3. Alexandra Serediuc says: September 23, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    My heart is with you. Aaaa God it is so relieving to see the hard side of sharing your heart and showing your work…. Of embodying your mission. I don’t enjoy seeing you sad,but you created something beautiful and inspiring out of it. I cried with you. I was connected to my own pain of growth. You shine your Light Angel even when you think you are not. I am happy you shared this… Big hug! And congratulations!

    • Alexandra Serediuc says: September 23, 2016 at 6:04 pm

      I have so much love and support in my heart for you. You are loved. Just look, we are all having a coach crush on you. You are the freshest coach I now. Everything you do is unique to me and has such a vibe around it. And this video? Sounds like a fucking manifesto for me.

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      Wow. What a feel good to my heart- the freshest coach I know. Did you know that I just started a new biz journal and the key energy is FRESH. ?

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      Wow. What a feel good to my heart- the freshest coach I know. Did you know that I just started a new biz journal and the key energy is FRESH.

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:05 pm

      And fresh includes growth, new, and nourished.

    • Alexandra Serediuc says: September 23, 2016 at 7:58 pm

      Woohoo! Would love to hear more about that

  4. Cara Wykowski says: September 23, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    Thank you for a beautiful example of vulnerability.

  5. Lindsay Murdoch says: September 23, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    I’m hearing that you want to move away from a transactional model, you want something more fully human.

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:06 pm

      That feels nice.

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 9:31 pm

      this is a conversation that interest me. What does that look like. Who are the leaders in this.

    • Lindsay Murdoch says: September 23, 2016 at 10:48 pm

      Allison, it’s something that became clear to me recently, that patriarchy and capitalism wants to reduce our interactions to transactions. And the part of us that can feel the bs in that, the part that resists the sheep training that is everywhere- is asking for a more true expression of being human. The both and that you describe is what most of us are aching to be.
      I think it looks like a lot of what you are doing. I see people modelling it, if not expressly describing the move as one from ‘transactions’ to ‘human’ My friend Julie M Daley is one, Kathy Brown is another Kelly Diels, Paula Smoot Sistare… I may think of others later… It’s a headache day today.

    • Rebecca Davidson says: September 23, 2016 at 11:02 pm

      When you switch from transactional to relational, you actually get to help/impact more people. That is why we build a team, to have greater impact. You’re so doing it.

    • Lindsay Murdoch says: September 23, 2016 at 11:20 pm

      I’m actually speaking to more than just marketing, I’m not able to articulate it, because this damn brain injury is messing with how my thoughts form…
      But the powers that be want to reduce us to processes, transactions and simplified binary concepts (because us believing that we can/should be that way keeps us in control and a source of power to be extracted, and shame keeps us in line). Aware people are fighting for a new model, but there is so much programming (the beep in the doctors office) we end up fighting ourselves and the culture. This was the process I think I witnessed in this live stream.
      You aren’t alone. You may be one of the most open about it, but you aren’t alone

    • Allison Crow says: September 25, 2016 at 8:31 pm

      thank you. I’m sorry your head is still hurting honey <3

  6. Lindsay Murdoch says: September 23, 2016 at 6:32 pm

    The transactional nature of the world out there…

  7. Lindsay Murdoch says: September 23, 2016 at 6:45 pm

    Aprile… Ha ha!!

  8. Eric Polli says: September 23, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    It is hard and you are fucking beautiful!

  9. Donna Higton says: September 23, 2016 at 6:49 pm

    I love seeing the raw side of you…not weak. I feel it too. It fucking hurts sometimes. Sending you a virtual hug and love and loving your courage to be so raw. Not sure I could…I always share after, not during. Its stronger to be raw. How could anyone think you’re weak?!

  10. Eric Polli says: September 23, 2016 at 7:01 pm

    Why does there always have to be an offer? Be you!

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      I think I was meaning— there has to be a point. And there doesn’t. ?

    • Allison Crow says: September 23, 2016 at 7:10 pm

      I think I was meaning— there has to be a point. And there doesn’t.

    • Eric Polli says: September 23, 2016 at 7:39 pm

      YAY and Yes!

  11. Julia Lloyd says: September 23, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    thank you <3

  12. Helene Beaulieu says: September 23, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    Is nt it the story around asking for help that hurts

  13. Helene Beaulieu says: September 23, 2016 at 10:19 pm

    We want more because it is in our nature. Life is akways seeking for MORE.

  14. Helene Beaulieu says: September 23, 2016 at 10:20 pm

    I love you I see you

  15. Helene Beaulieu says: September 23, 2016 at 10:23 pm

    To be loved and rejected at the same time

  16. Helene Beaulieu says: September 23, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    You are perfect and you are not alone

  17. Donald Dawson says: September 23, 2016 at 11:30 pm

    Certainly nothing wrong with asking for something. If it is a, no, well, we gave it a go! As a leader we put it out there and only if necessary we clean up our poop.

  18. Michele Earley says: September 24, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Xoxo

  19. Laura Long says: September 24, 2016 at 3:52 am

    Replay hello

  20. Laura Long says: September 24, 2016 at 3:54 am

    No not ready

  21. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    Meant ..no not easy

  22. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    I feel you

  23. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:00 pm

    Human!

  24. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:01 pm

    I don’t want to be life that either

  25. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:02 pm

    You are doing a different way. That’s why we listen

  26. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:16 pm

    You would be board

  27. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:26 pm

    Yin and yang… The two parts of the whole

  28. Laura Long says: September 23, 2016 at 10:39 pm

    You have given me permission to be me and to be imperfectly perfect…. to say my message and speak it as important… I have learned so much about how to be me wholeheartedly…. By seeing you be you. You have given me strength. Now I realize I could have told you sooner… Sone how I thought you knew. Thanks for asking for what you need. Love you

  29. Judy Janse Van Rensburg says: September 24, 2016 at 12:35 am

    Watching the reply today

  30. Linda Gotsch says: September 24, 2016 at 3:46 am

    Your

  31. Linda Gotsch says: September 24, 2016 at 3:47 am

    Your sharing helps us all. We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t want to see the truth.

  32. Kaya Jongen says: September 24, 2016 at 9:08 am

    so beautiful Allison, I love you in all you are sharing, so much!!

  33. Kaya Jongen says: September 24, 2016 at 9:40 am

    Listening to you, I am reminded to spend time really feeling and acknowledging what is going on in me- I’ve been skimming over it because there seems so much to do to get through life and to get somewhere more ‘easy’ or sustainable <3

  34. Carmen Nichols says: September 24, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    You are only sharing what we all struggle with and it HELPS me as well. I respect and appreciate your honesty. I am right there with ou. xoxoxo Glad I was able to watch replay. We all need help as we are one.

  35. Carmen Nichols says: September 24, 2016 at 12:09 pm

    We all need to feel significant and to progeress.

  36. Tara Caffelle says: September 24, 2016 at 4:26 pm

    You are voicing exactly what’s in my head. You are so not alone and I always liked you, but I gotta tell you…I just fell head over heals.

    • Allison Crow says: September 24, 2016 at 11:05 pm

      Really? I have thought a thousand times about deleting this-

    • Tara Caffelle says: September 24, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      Yes, totally, jump-up-and-down really. And I think that’s a common reaction when we speak about what’s happening – we are the voice for others because it’s definitely in the space, and it’s terrifying, but I think it’s true leadership to voice it and then bravely stand by it, hangover n’ all!

  37. Amy Harris says: September 24, 2016 at 4:53 pm

    Oooooooohhhh mmmmmyyyyyy goddess I love you. I believe in the different way.

  38. Amy Harris says: September 24, 2016 at 4:56 pm

    I have that nose too!!!!

  39. Lisa Bogle says: September 24, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    Hello πŸ™‚

  40. Lisa Bogle says: September 24, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    Yes!!! Thankyou so much for being you ❀️❀️??

  41. Lisa Bogle says: September 24, 2016 at 11:46 pm

    Yes!!! Thankyou so much for being you

  42. Kathryn Stanley-Hart says: September 24, 2016 at 6:50 pm

    Richard Wilkins got emotional this week too on fb live. Keep the video up and fuck the script in your head he says.

  43. Jenny Stritzl Crane says: September 25, 2016 at 1:53 am

    I just love you ?

  44. Jenny Stritzl Crane says: September 25, 2016 at 1:53 am

    I just love you

  45. Karen Eaton says: September 25, 2016 at 6:02 am

    Hello replay

  46. Karen Eaton says: September 25, 2016 at 6:12 am

    Weak doesn’t share the truth!! I love that you are real with me, us.

  47. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 12:15 pm

    Morning replay!

  48. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Yes yes yes… The struggle

  49. Donald Dawson says: September 25, 2016 at 1:28 pm

    I appreciate your vulnerability, please keep it glowing, it teaches us. It is very difficult when someone shits on our doorstep. Knowing that loving ourselfs and others will help in knowing that someone’s words or actions are none of our business, it’s their shit!

  50. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:18 pm

    It’s not fucking easy

  51. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:20 pm

    I love you and your authenticity ❀️❀️

  52. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 8:20 pm

    I love you and your authenticity

  53. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    I am right here

  54. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:21 pm

    So fucking right here xo

  55. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 8:23 pm

    ❀️❀️??❀️

  56. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:23 pm

    You are beautiful

  57. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Thank you for showing me that sharing this is ok. This side of my life. The vulnerabilities.

  58. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    And no to being an asshole

  59. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:24 pm

    Huge rejection

  60. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    You are a vulnerable powerhouse

  61. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:30 pm

    Yes. Acknowledging all parts. Beautuful

  62. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:39 pm

    I think about doing life easy too

  63. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:40 pm

    I resonate so much with all of this. Soooo much

  64. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 2:41 pm

    It’s heartbreaking thinking about the robots and drones and how I lived for so long

  65. Bette Norcross Wappner says: September 25, 2016 at 3:14 pm

    Amen. No one is wrong.

  66. Bette Norcross Wappner says: September 25, 2016 at 3:54 pm

    You teach me to express myself and not hold it inside. Thank you ❀️

  67. Bette Norcross Wappner says: September 25, 2016 at 9:54 pm

    You teach me to express myself and not hold it inside. Thank you

  68. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 4:58 pm

    Love youuuuu

  69. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    ❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️❀️

  70. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 4:59 pm

    Be real. Be us

  71. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    Beauty. So beautiful. Thank you

  72. Dawn Armstrong says: September 25, 2016 at 5:02 pm

    Impact: permission to feel. Permission to share all parts of me openly in all parts of my life. I don’t ask for help easily. I suck at it and do life alone. It’s lonely. I don’t want to and am afraid to trust and ask for what I want and need.

    • Allison Crow says: September 25, 2016 at 11:32 pm

      thank you Dawn Armstrong <3

  73. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:27 am

    Hello

  74. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:31 am

    Thank you!!!!!!

  75. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:32 am

    Lol the ass holes but you see how hard they have worked

  76. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:33 am

    That’s why they became assholes

  77. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:33 am

    You are not alone!!!!!

  78. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:33 am

    Forreal

  79. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:34 am

    Im feeling you i love it thanks again.

  80. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:36 am

    Its a cold worlf

  81. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:38 am

    Yep. The year is ending and the universe lets us know thats its time for a change

  82. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:39 am

    A community a support system and positive innovative energy is what we need

  83. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Righy

  84. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:40 am

    Point of views

  85. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:42 am

    Acknowledgments

  86. Sireta Sumbler says: September 26, 2016 at 12:42 am

    Right

  87. Nadine Larder says: September 26, 2016 at 9:51 am

    Hi friend. Watching the replay!

    • Allison Crow says: September 26, 2016 at 3:51 pm

      its a doosie!

    • Nadine Larder says: September 26, 2016 at 5:37 pm

      It was beautifully vulnerable and real and it’s why I love you so much! I too am challenged with needing help and trying to decide who, what, where and when!!! You’re definitely not alone. You’re also not alone in that we all face rejection and it hurts when it’s someone we care about. You make it okay for all of us to be human and be having a human experience. Loving you!!! ❀️?❀️?

    • Nadine Larder says: September 26, 2016 at 5:37 pm

      It was beautifully vulnerable and real and it’s why I love you so much! I too am challenged with needing help and trying to decide who, what, where and when!!! You’re definitely not alone. You’re also not alone in that we all face rejection and it hurts when it’s someone we care about. You make it okay for all of us to be human and be having a human experience. Loving you!!!

  88. Nadine Larder says: September 26, 2016 at 10:29 am

    Love you dearly and deeply! ❀️❀️❀️

  89. Nadine Larder says: September 26, 2016 at 4:29 pm

    Love you dearly and deeply!

  90. Desi Lauwers says: October 4, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    I want to connect with people, but I am terrified that I’m going to drain them because of being needy or that I need to be helpful in someway. I am reaching out to people and just being me and it is getting better. I went to the intensive in September and I wanted to meet you, but I was in a state of confusion, joy, and sadness. I saw that you were in a state that you didn’t need another needy person to be near you. I love how open you were at the intensive and in this video, it helped me to see that my sadness isn’t something that I need to hide. That I can be free and express myself, my emotions and it isn’t my obligation to protect someone else from them. So saying this I wish I had met you, that I was willing to look at you and just cry or whatever would have come up (I usually have the urge to cry – that makes me look so confident and together right?). To know that I wouldn’t be taking anything from you and that you needed nothing from me. It would just be a space of vulnerability and love! I love you because I see you, you are beautiful and make me feel safe and that I can be me and love me! Thank you!!?

  91. Desi Lauwers says: October 4, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    I want to connect with people, but I am terrified that I’m going to drain them because of being needy or that I need to be helpful in someway. I am reaching out to people and just being me and it is getting better. I went to the intensive in September and I wanted to meet you, but I was in a state of confusion, joy, and sadness. I saw that you were in a state that you didn’t need another needy person to be near you. I love how open you were at the intensive and in this video, it helped me to see that my sadness isn’t something that I need to hide. That I can be free and express myself, my emotions and it isn’t my obligation to protect someone else from them. So saying this I wish I had met you, that I was willing to look at you and just cry or whatever would have come up (I usually have the urge to cry – that makes me look so confident and together right?). To know that I wouldn’t be taking anything from you and that you needed nothing from me. It would just be a space of vulnerability and love! I love you because I see you, you are beautiful and make me feel safe and that I can be me and love me! Thank you!!

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
Instagram post 18053763071158914 Instagram post 18053763071158914
Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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