The stress of caregiving.
So much caregiving this year. My parents and dogs required way extra-extra caregiving this year. From January until Leroy’s death last week. I chose this hard.
There is also relief in grief. The relief that we no longer have the physical and emotional, or financial burden of that intense caregiving. We have no regrets – but it was intense.
I can feel my nervous system softening out of the “on alert” mode. We are able to sleep through the night, and the daily mental load is sooooo much lighter.
Wooooo sah! Of course, we miss our Big Boy…, and he’s no longer sick and at peace. And we have a new layer of peace.
I can feel my brain starting to enjoy and create in space it simply didn’t have most of this year.
For anyone caregiving- not just emergency or acute illnesses, but even raising kids- that mental load takes up SO much capacity in your mind and body. I acknowledge the challenge of holding it all.
This is not complaining or victimhood. It is simple validation.
All year long, my writing coach would say- “of course, you feel XYZ or are in this fuzzy mental space- you are in the threat response.”
I was familiar with the threat response in the context of a visible outer threat or emergency- but this year, I got it in the context of a more subtle and extended pressure and responsibility. It still activates the threat response.
Stress is the number one contributor to illness and death. It’s a significant contributor to a heart attack- which I had in August. 
This year has been hard AF …
AND already the gifts are showing.
I see myself internally and how I am interwoven with my climate. I see my clients and their context and the unique ways one’s individual mix of inner world and outer context – with that, I see shifts that can be considered for helpful & effective coaching.
I see more nuance.
I am committed to compassion. Self-compassion and compassion for others (I’m still working on this- I can get reactive and judge mental as a defense mechanism).
There is no ONE solution or fix-all for the stressors and challenges we have. Comparing our ”NOWS” to how it used to be is futile. There is only the unique you that is here in this unique climate and circumstances of life at the unique age and health you are in.
Be so tender with yourself. Be self-curious and listen within. Work with compassion-focused practitioners. Tend to your nervous system. Tend to your mind, to your heart, to your rest.
Sending so much love-
From a woman in a state of relief.
