Allison Crow

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Trust – Has Someone Broken Yours?

October 8, 2017

Inspired by a friend. Let’s talk trust as long as my battery lasts. (happy hour chat).

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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next article: Both/And

Comments

  1. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: October 4, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    o/

  2. Maria Fernanda Castro says: October 4, 2017 at 10:37 pm

    Hi ?? ?

  3. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: October 4, 2017 at 10:39 pm

    True. Can’t have the good without the bad.

  4. M.A. Goldman says: October 4, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    So good!

  5. Christine Summers says: October 4, 2017 at 10:42 pm

    You are simply amazing!!!!

  6. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    I trust myself!

  7. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: October 4, 2017 at 10:44 pm

    I try to remind myself that I have a choice in how I respond to shit like that. Even though it’s hard sometimes. =/

  8. Suzi Eggemeyer says: October 4, 2017 at 10:45 pm

    Yes!!

  9. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:47 pm

    ha-ha!!!! that’s me

  10. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    totally

  11. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:48 pm

    yes I know!!!

  12. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    allison i made a video on a few things that happened recently

  13. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    of course I needed to stand up for myself!

  14. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 10:50 pm

    same here

  15. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    How do you know you can trust yourself?

  16. Nadine Larder says: October 4, 2017 at 10:51 pm

    Hi there all!

  17. Leslie Typrin says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    I used that and it felt GOOD!

  18. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    50

  19. Jenny Weihl says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    so freeing… a great reminder

  20. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    Ok very true I got it.

  21. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    True things do always work out

  22. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 10:52 pm

    lol me and my grades

  23. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Ahhhh trust doesn’t mean perfect trust means I will work out what ever happens

  24. Christine Summers says: October 4, 2017 at 10:53 pm

    Life is 50% shit and assholes

  25. Nadine Larder says: October 4, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    Life is awesome!!!!

  26. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 10:54 pm

    that was me a few hours ago with world geography

  27. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    THANK YOU dispel
    that myth

  28. Deidra Towns says: October 4, 2017 at 10:55 pm

    Lately, I’ve been asking myself, what’s the most important thing. …thank you for this

  29. Christine Summers says: October 4, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Make my other 50% amazing and trust yourself

  30. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:56 pm

    Exactly Christine

  31. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 10:58 pm

    yup when things shitty do the one thing people should do rule #32 Enjoy the little things

  32. Joelle Collins Bohart says: October 4, 2017 at 10:59 pm

    True been there done that. I forget all I’ve survived

  33. Tony Bonnici says: October 4, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    Aloha you are a rock star ⭐️

  34. Jenny Weihl says: October 4, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    So glad I stumbled on this!!

  35. Tony Bonnici says: October 4, 2017 at 11:00 pm

    Aloha you are a rock star

  36. Jenny Weihl says: October 4, 2017 at 11:01 pm

    You too! Jill Durbin Keuth introduced me to you!

  37. Jenny Weihl says: October 4, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    Me too!!! She has changed my life too!!!

  38. Jamie Whaley says: October 4, 2017 at 11:02 pm

    yup like i said we should rule #32 Enjoy the little things

  39. Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    Minor cussing! ????. I thought you sure where saying “butthole” a lot! ?

    • Allison Crow says: October 4, 2017 at 11:27 pm

      I’m trying to downgrade my cussing skills

    • Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:42 pm

      Allison Crow “asshole” started coming out as you got on a roll! ???

    • Allison Crow says: October 4, 2017 at 11:43 pm

      Jill Durbin Keuth I am a little buzzy.

    • Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:43 pm

      Allison Crow You can’t blame it all on the wine! ???❀️

    • Allison Crow says: October 4, 2017 at 11:45 pm

      Jill Durbin Keuth I know. I’m trying to slow my roll.

    • Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:48 pm

      Allison Crow You just do you. Buzz on my friend! Love YOU!

  40. Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:26 pm

    Minor cussing! . I thought you sure where saying “butthole” a lot!

    • Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:42 pm

      Allison Crow “asshole” started coming out as you got on a roll!

      • Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:43 pm

        Allison Crow You can’t blame it all on the wine!

  41. Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:39 pm

    Allison, one of my most profound coaching sessions with you was when I admitted to you that if my kids died, I’d take my life. And you wouldn’t have it. Out of that one call, came my ability to trust me and my resilience. That may have changed my life more than anything else. Even more than the laundry. ❀️?❀️

    • Allison Crow says: October 4, 2017 at 11:42 pm

      Love the laundry session!

  42. Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:39 pm

    Allison, one of my most profound coaching sessions with you was when I admitted to you that if my kids died, I’d take my life. And you wouldn’t have it. Out of that one call, came my ability to trust me and my resilience. That may have changed my life more than anything else. Even more than the laundry.

  43. Jill Durbin Keuth says: October 4, 2017 at 11:41 pm

    Yes, I did! I changed a lot with this concept. LOL!!!

  44. Michelle Bastian says: October 5, 2017 at 6:59 am

    Oh how I needed this!

    • Michelle Bastian says: October 5, 2017 at 7:00 am

      #goodshit

  45. Shanti Zimmermann says: October 5, 2017 at 9:20 am

    ooooooooffffffff the asshole and trust yourself…yesyesyesyesyesyesyes!!

  46. Shanti Zimmermann says: October 5, 2017 at 9:22 am

    Experience difficulty in a different way.

  47. Shanti Zimmermann says: October 5, 2017 at 9:22 am

    I trust me resiliency

  48. Shanti Zimmermann says: October 5, 2017 at 9:23 am

    I fucking adore you.

  49. Charan Surdhar says: October 5, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Love this Alison…. ❀️❀️❀️

  50. Charan Surdhar says: October 5, 2017 at 10:24 am

    Love this Alison….

  51. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 3:56 am

    a-holes bark, not cats!!

  52. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:04 am

    Negativity bias- looking for what’s wrong

  53. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:05 am

    Pause. Be realistic. Be positive.

  54. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:06 am

    What matters is that you remember that you are DIVINE even when shitty stuff happens.

  55. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:07 am

    Chose to find the REAL positive

  56. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:07 am

    People leave you…

  57. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:10 am

    I’ve plenty of practice feeling badly and I’ve survived!

  58. Cara Wykowski says: October 6, 2017 at 4:12 am

    Love ya Girlfriend!

  59. Dawn Armstrong says: October 6, 2017 at 4:37 am

    Meeeeee

  60. Jody Caunter Garcia says: October 6, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    Good stuff!

  61. Helen May says: October 7, 2017 at 12:11 am

    you’re amazeballs Allison!!!

  62. Helen May says: October 7, 2017 at 12:12 am

    unfairness really gets to me

  63. Tiago Buhr says: October 7, 2017 at 12:34 am

    I can so relate to this. Whenever I feel shitty, I want to get happy as fast as possible. And it comes straight back to my butthole. Wow amazing, thank you!

    • Jody Caunter Garcia says: October 7, 2017 at 7:17 am

      My favorite line! ?

    • Jody Caunter Garcia says: October 7, 2017 at 7:17 am

      My favorite line!

  64. Helen May says: October 7, 2017 at 12:58 pm

    Like the hearts!

  65. Nyali Muir says: October 19, 2017 at 5:08 am

    He’ll YEAH

  66. Nyali Muir says: October 19, 2017 at 5:08 am

    Hell Yeah

  67. Nyali Muir says: October 19, 2017 at 5:09 am

    Trusting yourself one can control- it’s a choice. 1st attention on self not on others

  68. Cydney Peterson says: October 19, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    F-ing love this one!!! Brilliant ??. Love your presentation of these concepts. Gives me another way to approach this with people.

    • Allison Crow says: October 19, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Yes. Try teaching after 2 glasses of wine! ?? it’s fun!

    • Cydney Peterson says: October 19, 2017 at 2:10 pm

      funny how some things get a little clearer when altered sometimes.

  69. Cydney Peterson says: October 19, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    F-ing love this one!!! Brilliant . Love your presentation of these concepts. Gives me another way to approach this with people.

    • Allison Crow says: October 19, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Yes. Try teaching after 2 glasses of wine! it’s fun!

  70. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    Trust yourself to be resilient ???

  71. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:08 pm

    This is a valuable message and reminder… Thank you!!!

  72. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:10 pm

    I’m willing to trust myself… I’m shifting in this direction absofreakinglutely ?

  73. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:11 pm

    Doing my inner work… Bless the other… That’s the key #profound #wisdom

  74. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:12 pm

    Leslie ?

  75. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    Haha so cute girl

  76. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:13 pm

    Minor cussing vs Major cussing… LMAO that’s a good one

  77. Michelle Jeanette says: October 21, 2017 at 2:18 pm

    A liberation message ?

  78. Mandy Lehto says: October 6, 2019 at 9:51 am

    Replayer ❀️❀️❀️

  79. Mandy Lehto says: October 6, 2019 at 9:51 am

    Replayer

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
Instagram post 18053763071158914 Instagram post 18053763071158914
Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
Instagram post 18052656569149431 Instagram post 18052656569149431
For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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