There’s an ADHD meme over on LinkedIn that is getting tons of traction. It’s funny because it is true. Many days living with an ADHD brain feels creative and fun, and yeah – it’s easy to make lots of jokes. Because ADHD and neurodivergence are getting long overdue recognition -they are almost trendy.
Many of my best gifts come from my ADHDness. Most of my brilliance and what I am proud of in life – are wrappe
d up in partnership my neurodiversity. I can share those perks on another post on another day.
I just want to acknowledge that some days for ADHD people, women especially (as the H = internal hyperactivity – not external and not visible), can be exhausting, depressing, lonely, and painful. Most of my conflicts in life are born from my differences and being misunderstood or from the internal or external pressure to mask just to fit in. I can trace almost all of my rejections to it. That is heartbreaking. Even down to, “You’re too authentic; I no longer want to be friends.”
Next, add the responsibility of leadership (positional and influential) to that. Again, another post.
It’s not always cute. It’s not always a meme or a funny skit on a 90-second Instagram reel. Add in menopause and hormonal changes, and – well, that’s fun. Insert giant unmasked eye-roll.
The med, supplement, and hormone management are a full-time job – not to mention expensive.
I have a lot of tools and nourishing practices to soothe on those days. I’m resourced in multiple directions. I also live in my innate white and wealth privilege. Many don’t have those systemic perks.
Most of my tools are in the moment, but one is a future vision process to build new neurosynapses of whole being self-acceptance instead of sensitivity to rejection. I envision old-old lady Allison, grounded in the confidence of being different, perfectly at peace being misunderstood. I envision her being self-compassionate and self-validating about how it is completely normal to have days when everything in the brain is misfiring. I envision her completely able to BE with herself and those parts on those days – not to eliminate those days, but instead, I see her trusting herself to have them as a natural course of living. She meets herself in those harder moments with far less wrestling and judgment.
I started to find an ethereal photo of a wise crone to put with this post…and immediately felt the rejection of the woman I am today. I’m not quite the woman in my visualization. And her purpose and that practice are not to bypass the discomfort of today but to create for the future while I simultaneously give myself permission to be right where I am with so much love. I am me, here, 50 and 51 weeks old, diagnosed and making sense of it all for less than a year.
Perhaps someone else in this space might not be so alone because I share the not-so-cute side of ADHD.
