Allison Crow

Authentic and Ambitious

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Achievement and Success, authentic leadership, behind the curtain, mindset and thinking, my mentors, personal growth, Recovering Overachiever, Releasing Resistance, Remember, Soul-Full Living, Soul-Full Success, too much woman

This is 49, a Reflection of 17 years in Business for Myself

March 8, 2021

Allison Crow Smiling at 49 in her office
Allison Crow Smiling at 49 in her office One of the benefits of age is being able to connect the dots looking back.
 
This post is part journal to show up in my memories, year after year FOR ME…and part public for you – as a gift -that you might see we are all one.
 
I am clearly a woman of range. This has been a THEME in my life in the last few years, becoming, both/and, mystic & logistic, soul-full and strategic. This range is both a gift and a pain in my ass – because I can’t set it and forget it. Integration and attention are constant. There is no arrival. As you probably know, the work is never done.
 
I’ve built an ever-evolving business over the last 17 years from both the masculine and feminine. Sometimes independent of one another, and other times exquisitely integrated and working together. At this point, I am deeply proud of my intuition, coaching skills, and my strategy and structure both for myself and my clients. I am living my dharma, my soul’s calling as a woman of range — Soul-Full and Strategic as a life and business coach (both what you see online, and what you don’t see behind the scenes in my life and work).
 
At one point my Spirituality was so visibly integrated into my work…and eventually, “White Spiritual Women Coaches” became so cliche online, and in some places, many in the “spiritual coaching space” were being harmful – and I was terrified… OF DOING IT WRONG. I so wanted to be “good” so I pulled it back not just online by in my own personal practices.
 
*my need to do it RIGHT and GOOD was stronger than my personal faith and spiritual practices/connection. That need was also exacerbated by personal, political stress, and overstimulation in the last 4 years…and then covid climate. And so my nervous system has gripped what it thinks it can rely on. LOGIC, INTELLECT, and STRUCTURE. These things provided me physical and financial, and emotional safety.
 
What’s funny – actually perfect is this: I DID need to strengthen my logic, my structures, and my physical and financial, and emotional safety.
 
My soul needed to learn how to not numb difficult emotions and truths with toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing. I remember asking God one time, why someone close to me had such miraculous and OBVIOUS spiritual gifts and mine were so invisible. God said to me, “because you have so much faith you don’t need miracles.”
 
What I find so fascinating as I look back and connect dots, that have also been waves, is that it has been a MIRACLE to let my faith rest (i never lost it – I just stashed it in a closet for a while) and to be fully HUMAN and to build these structures in my life.
 
I’ve been saying, the last few years, that allowing myself to be fully HUMAN is the most spiritual experience I’ve ever had. Not just structure (chopping wood and carrying water) but also the deep emotional shadow work of meeting difficult (and often labeled negative) emotions.
 
As I lift my head to the light, this morning, from my “WORK” over the last 5 years…. I can see the form of what I have created and know that it is good, and what I have created can support me. I can see that I am learning to meet myself and others with compassion. I am also able to CARE DEEPLY and let that hurt, for myself and for humanity. I am able to take my desire and pain and move toward change, for myself and for humanity. I also see that I have created financial systems, and legal systems, and spending/saving habits that support me. I am still learning to ask for help – and I have built a personal and professional team of support, releasing daily, my need to control and over-functioning as a trauma response.
 
Today, my “house” is more in order than it has EVER been in my lifetime.
 
Wild and colorful Allison, with all the spiritual faith in the world, was really not congruent if I didn’t embody my responsibility as a human in this life, to build physical structures of support, and to FEEL more than the good shit.
 
My mess is my masterpiece. Thank you to all of you who have stood by and with me in the messy seasons. Most of all I thank ME for being willing to be in my mess, perfectly. This is not an easy, nor always pretty path…and it is the one I will take over and over.
 
I can feel the next season of Spirit INTEGRATED with the STRUCTURES – both FAITH AND FORM working in partnership. I’m pulling my spiritual practices, faith, and quantum thinking back out of the closet for full participation.
 
Ooooohhhhh, this is gonna be sweet! Who is coming with me? 🙂
 
Thank you to my coaches and mentors and therapists (Rich Litvin, John P Morgan, Tara Newman, Chris Zydel, Rebecca Ching, Heather Doyle Fraser). Thank you to my husband (Bill Flanigin) and my powerful and amazing clients (so many of you), and to my staff (Stacey, Cali, Elyse, and Amber) and financial advisors (Blake & Lisa Westerterp, Jessica Salzman, and Sandy Eichel).
Holy Shit, y’all help me get good!
More is not better, better is better.
 
This is 49…watch out 50….I’m coming for ya!
Love, A
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Oops. Who else can relate? #ijustsaidiwouldwrite Oops. Who else can relate? 

#ijustsaidiwouldwrite 
#compassionatewriter  #itsaprocess #writeslowly #writingabook #inspirationalmemoir #bookpeoplearethebestpeople #writingcommunity #writerslife
Current RUMBLES I used to think I was pretty ope Current RUMBLES 

I used to think I was pretty open hearted. And honestly I am pretty armored up in one direction. I give and express openly so you don’t see how much I protect my own heart from terror and pain of feeling hard things. 

.... earlier this year I decided to do some private work with a therapist trained coach for some really deep work I could feel surfacing. 

So many ways I am open, and so many ways I run around in my protector self. 

I’m committed to an open heart and it is UNComfortable and nuanced.  I’m committed to gently and compassionately increasing my capacity. It is so tempting to dive in deep from the high dive. 

And I am seeing that space is loving. Slow is loving. Breath is loving. 

Life is messy. Human is not a straight and perfect line. It can be super triggering and nauseating. And I can feel my heart opening a bit more. 

I am learning to allow all of me to be loved. All parts of me are welcome. 

And if that feels good to you.... I encourage you to consider opening up to all parts of you with space, compassion, and breath. 

💛
So much NOISE. There is an overload of stimulati So much NOISE. 

There is an overload of stimulation "out there" and a shitton here on social and it scrambles your brain and can distract your soul and burden your self-trust.  Take a moment to slow down and source YOUR TRUTH and KNOWING from WITHIN.... <3
I get it. For a season you had to create hard to s I get it. For a season you had to create hard to survive. And you did it. Move past survival. Beating yourself up, pushing, pressing hard... may have worked to get this far.... but it’s not working any more. Your Soul knows that the creative way forward requires compassion, space, rest, and playfulness. These are actually powerful and profitable tools.

What if....???
I’ve been cheating on IG and FB with Tiktok. And I’ve been cheating on IG and FB with Tiktok. And I’ll be honest... I don’t really feel like creating “content” anywhere.  I love the creativity and information (and dogs) on Tiktok. And I love seeing small accounts blow up.
You can’t create from love and flow if you have You can’t create from love and flow if you have a stick up your ass.  That is the name of a spiritual talk I have once. And it’s true. You think Lil Nas X is the devil..... nope. Hell is the war you make within yourself.  Your judgement is the only thing making you miserable. Care enough to not care so much and BREATHE, Baby!!! 
💛
Love, your favorite life coach,
Alli.
Many of the most powerful and successful women I k Many of the most powerful and successful women I know are also deeply sensitive and empathic. Meeting and managing our emotions with compassion is not a natural skill - it’s a learned skill. 

Oh, and every fully successfull woman I know still has regular bouts of doubt, overwhelm and anxiety. 

Tired of masking it all, shoving it all down? Perhaps we should talk. 💛
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