Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, Alignment, FB Live

Identity – or the goal?

February 24, 2020

Identity – or the goal?

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: No to Cheap
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Comments

  1. Jamie S. Rognstad says: February 24, 2020 at 4:35 pm

    Allison <3 oh wow, it's been SO long

  2. Amy D Marie says: February 24, 2020 at 4:35 pm

    Good Morning Allison ?

  3. Jamie S. Rognstad says: February 24, 2020 at 4:36 pm

    LOL, I love your talk about whatever it is πŸ™‚

  4. Christina Lord says: February 24, 2020 at 4:38 pm

    ??

  5. Sherri A Nicholas says: February 24, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Ann Sheridan⬆️

  6. Sherri A Nicholas says: February 24, 2020 at 4:41 pm

    Ann Sheridan

  7. Malinda Baum says: February 24, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    yes!! I am becoming a successful documentary artist and image artist

  8. Sherri A Nicholas says: February 24, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    Jennifer Halterman?

  9. Sherri A Nicholas says: February 24, 2020 at 4:43 pm

    Jennifer Halterman

  10. Sherri A Nicholas says: February 24, 2020 at 4:44 pm

    ?

  11. Ann Sheridan says: February 24, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Amen?

  12. Ann Sheridan says: February 24, 2020 at 4:54 pm

    Woo how

  13. Megan Winkler says: February 24, 2020 at 5:18 pm

    Hey Allison! On the replay

    • Allison Crow says: February 25, 2020 at 1:54 am

      Megan Winkler ??????

  14. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: February 24, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    I love systems.

    • Allison Crow says: February 24, 2020 at 6:47 pm

      Michelle McMahon Stephens I do too.

  15. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: February 24, 2020 at 5:43 pm

    Wow. Identity and habits. This really resonates with me.

  16. Deidra Towns says: February 24, 2020 at 6:10 pm

    Hey from the replay

    • Allison Crow says: February 25, 2020 at 1:55 am

      Deidra Towns ??????

  17. Shannon Peebles says: February 24, 2020 at 7:06 pm

    “I have high emotionally profitable beliefs about myself.” ~ Allison Crow

  18. Karen Eaton says: February 24, 2020 at 8:24 pm

    I just love you!

  19. Moira Shaughnessy says: February 24, 2020 at 9:37 pm

    Great talk! Thanks for shAring.

  20. Mandy Lehto says: February 25, 2020 at 8:05 am

    Lipstick looks awesome on you! ?

  21. Mandy Lehto says: February 25, 2020 at 8:05 am

    Lipstick looks awesome on you!

  22. Mandy Lehto says: February 25, 2020 at 8:10 am

    Consistency! My word of the year!

  23. Mandy Lehto says: February 25, 2020 at 8:20 am

    Gotta hop off, but wanted to say hi! ??❀️?

  24. Mandy Lehto says: February 25, 2020 at 8:20 am

    Gotta hop off, but wanted to say hi!

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allison_crow

πŸ’›IFS coaching for life/biz
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πŸ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
Instagram post 18053763071158914 Instagram post 18053763071158914
Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
Instagram post 18052656569149431 Instagram post 18052656569149431
For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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