Allison Crow

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Why you can’t just be anything you want….

December 14, 2018

Why you can’t just be anything you want….

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs💛Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: Your invisibility isn’t serving anyone.
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Comments

  1. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    Look at you ??

  2. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:26 pm

    Look at you

  3. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    My dog heard your dog and started barking ?

  4. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    My dog heard your dog and started barking

  5. Mary Dixon says: December 14, 2018 at 6:29 pm

    Gotta be a beginner sometimes… what I am going thru with the painting course..

  6. Mary Dixon says: December 14, 2018 at 6:32 pm

    Cauliflower soup on it’s own can be deelicious!

  7. Teresa Pimenta says: December 14, 2018 at 6:33 pm

    The art of becoming ❤

  8. Teresa Pimenta says: December 14, 2018 at 6:33 pm

    The art of becoming

  9. Sara Scott says: December 14, 2018 at 6:34 pm

    Hey gorgeous! Just saying HI. I live in the land of turnips…so not enough bandwidth to actually HEAR you. But I’m sure you’re rocking it…and no doubt I’ll see you on ‘catch up’ xxxx. In the absence of sound I have red wine…xxxx

  10. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Great curls too ?

  11. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Great curls too

  12. Vanessa Kinsey says: December 14, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Perfection!!!!

  13. Jody Caunter Garcia says: December 14, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Loving your necklace. Dressing it up! ??

    • Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 11:22 pm

      Jody Caunter Garcia thank you. One of my special pieces.

  14. Jody Caunter Garcia says: December 14, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    Loving your necklace. Dressing it up!

  15. Osi Korn Rosenberg says: December 14, 2018 at 6:41 pm

    I love soup! looks good!

  16. Osi Korn Rosenberg says: December 14, 2018 at 6:42 pm

    You are awesome! great lesson. You are absolutely right! Thank you!

  17. Cara Wykowski says: December 14, 2018 at 6:56 pm

    Be versus become

    • Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Cara Wykowski ve is awesome. Become gives us space to grow!

  18. Cara Wykowski says: December 14, 2018 at 6:59 pm

    Simple message yet I never thought of things this way

  19. Ana Caragea says: December 14, 2018 at 7:05 pm

    Replay viewer 🙂

    • Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Ana Caragea hi Ana.

  20. Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 7:06 pm

    I am still becoming someone who cooks well. My soup was MEH.

    • Mary Dixon says: December 14, 2018 at 7:54 pm

      It takes time like anything else..I’ve enjoyed cooking since I was a kid alongside my mom who was all into Julia Child and Craig Claibrone in the ’60’s. Plus I have always experimented with trying to find the seasonings of things I’ve eaten in restaurants. And I really got committed to making my own food from scratch in the ’90’s when I subscribed to a publication called Nutrition Action Newsletter created by the Center for Science in the Public Interest. That’s when my eyes were opened to all the crap and calories that are in processed and fast foods. Haven’t eaten at a fast food restaurant in many years. I like taking control over what goes in my belly! Congrats on your new journey!!

    • Mary Dixon says: December 14, 2018 at 7:54 pm

      Only use real stuff..butter, never margarine. Fresh garlic..and lots of it!

    • Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 8:05 pm

      Mary Dixon always!

    • Heather Esposito says: December 17, 2018 at 4:41 am

      Allison—if it’s any consolation, there’s lots of times I makes things that are “meh”…

  21. Ana Caragea says: December 14, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    I want the recipe please! ??

  22. Ana Caragea says: December 14, 2018 at 7:12 pm

    I want the recipe please!

  23. Christi N. HGauther says: December 14, 2018 at 9:12 pm

    Well hun you don’t look near as close if your age at all! Love you…

    • Allison Crow says: December 14, 2018 at 11:23 pm

      Christi N. HGauther thank you.

  24. JC Williams says: December 14, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Brilliant…. so needed this.. with my journey to becoming a herbalist ..need to be more patient and allowing ??

  25. JC Williams says: December 14, 2018 at 11:36 pm

    Brilliant…. so needed this.. with my journey to becoming a herbalist ..need to be more patient and allowing

  26. Judie Schwerdtfeger says: December 15, 2018 at 1:45 pm

    I love this way of thinking!! and look how dressed up you are in the kitchen. Early morning Saturday date with exercise, learning to become.

  27. Monica Weakley says: December 18, 2018 at 11:53 am

    This is GREAT! ?

  28. Monica Weakley says: December 18, 2018 at 11:53 am

    This is GREAT!

  29. Monica Weakley says: December 18, 2018 at 11:58 am

    We give up on ‘being’ something because we don’t understand the concept of ‘becoming’ or we don’t have the patience to ‘become’ it! Good stuff Coach Crow!!❤️

  30. Monica Weakley says: December 18, 2018 at 11:58 am

    We give up on ‘being’ something because we don’t understand the concept of ‘becoming’ or we don’t have the patience to ‘become’ it! Good stuff Coach Crow!!

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝—they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful parts—my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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