Allison Crow

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Better Life Better Work Show, Conversations, Podcast, Small Biz Support

BLBW Ep# 13 Your Questions Answered on all things Better Life & Better Work

April 17, 2017

Topic Episode #13:  Tribe Q & A

This week I took questions from members of my community on my email love list, my fb group and on Instagram.  We had some great questions that covered the gamut of Better Life & Better Work! 

 

  1. Rosie from the UK asks: Got a question I’d love to see your perspective on what do synchronicities mean? When they happen, why? What does it mean, in your opinion?
  2. Suzyreading from IG asks:   How do you shape the help that you’re given… when I’m in need my loved one tries to fix when I just really want him to bear witness and be with me as I express my feelings. Recipe for frustration for both of us…
  3. Deborah asks: My question is how to stop niche hopping over and over when things don’t seem to be attracting clients?  Also, I hear so much about marketing through talking about the problem that you solve. Do you think you need to have one problem that you solve for people to communicate in marketing? I know that you have said that you don’t need a niche on one of the videos you made but having a no niche didn’t seem to work either or was it just that I need to be me doing my thing and various things and do that long enough?
  4. Susan Asks: I AM actually narrowing my niche—My question is—how do I reach that special niche, once I have determined what it is?
  5. Linda asks: How do you know what works for you when you haven’t had enough clients to have an idea of what works? In relation to not hustling, cutting down on the tasks
  6. Missy asks:  I recently left a “job” that I had been doing for 4 years at a company that I had been with for 13.  I know that I made the right decision by leaving so why do I still have those pangs of regret that bubble up every now and again that make me doubt my decision?
  7. Casey asks: How can I keep my Art-Making and Teaching (that I’ve been doing for TWENTY YEARS!) a priority AND enjoyable, when my husband still says, “When are you going to get a REAL job?”
  8. Positively Slim on IG asks: How can we know what our online audience wants to know? I do ask often on posts and emails….
  9. Elizabeth asks: how do I set goals that I will actually feel like honoring and committing myself to? I’d love for my side business to earn $100,000 a year because I think that would lead to some amazing things in my life. And yet, I’ve done little to move forward on that goal. It feels like a good goal, so why haven’t I taken action? Is it because I’m not actually aligned to that goal? Is it because that goal is too big and too vague and perhaps the goal should be something like “send three emails a week to my list”?
  10. Kathryn asks: How do you get someone out of your head and heart. Any rituals or insights?

 


  • Other resources mentioned in the show:
  • https://allisoncrow.com/the-money-part-of-the-story-and-some-tips-for-making-it-happen/
  • Live Coaching Session on Niche https://www.facebook.com/allisoncrow/videos/10153863718589364

 

If you would like a copy of the Values Clarification Process – Register here and one will be sent to you.

Mystic Sister Painting Retreat in June  https://allisoncrow.com/painting-retreat/

 

  • Shares of the video show and of the podcasts are totally LOVED and Appreciated!  And you can rate it on itiTunes here.

 

 

 

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About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs💛Author, Art, & Dogs

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝—they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful parts—my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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