Allison Crow

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Better Life Better Work Show, Coaching, Conversations, Life Coaching, Mindset and Thinking, Personal Growth, Podcast

STOP the Habit of Looking at the Past for Evidence of Future Possibility

February 23, 2020

 

Stop looking back. 

Stop framing your future based on your past. 

Iโ€™m guilty, SO guilty actually, of doing this too. But we have to actively change this pattern in order to truly move forward. 

Iโ€™m sharing this now because itโ€™s one of the two major takeaways I came away with from my mastermind last week and itโ€™s the most impactful one I can share. 

In this episode, Iโ€™m telling you the story of how I got called out on this during the mastermind and how we can actually change this pattern and reinvent ourselves.

 

If you have even an inclination that this is you, or ESPECIALLY if you think this doesnโ€™t sound like you (cough, that was me too), listen to todayโ€™s podcast and really reflect on how you are speaking to yourself. 

 

And of course, if you enjoyed this episode or it brought up any thoughts or insights, Iโ€™d love to hear! Head on over to Instagram or Facebook to let me know!

 

Love, 

Your Favorite Life and Business Coach, 

 

Allison

 


PS- Camp Star Heart 2020 registration is still open! Camp Star Heart is like a summer camp/retreat for grown ass women who love to take a weekend away to REMEMBER who they really are – because they know this investment of time, energy, and money – will permeate the rest of their lives and work. Our theme this year is Both/And, learn more about what all is included and get in while I still have some spots available! http://allisoncrow.com/camp-star-heart-2020/

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๐Ÿ’›IFS coaching for life/biz
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๐Ÿ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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