Today is a new day. Yesterday was low, low, low….. grateful for my compassionate friend Heather and compassionate nurse Bethany. I spent half the day at the Heart Hospital having some tests (planned, not an emergency).
Here’s what I noticed about being in the hospital while Bethany was tenderly tucking me under a warm blanket for a nap between CT scans:
In the hospital- someone else makes allllll the decisions for me. An
d when this feels GOOD – it is a sign that I am physically and emotionally beat.
Normally I enjoy freedom in making my own decisions.
And I’m not alone. This isn’t just heart attacks, dogs dying, and everyday life and work stress. When I talk to my clients and friends- many of them are DONE.
The mental load is overloaded. Overstimulated. Fragile.
Then there is the internal self-gaslighting, “but most of the world has it sooo much worse, you are weary from quality problems.”
The invalidation makes it worse, and the edges fray a bit more.
But Bethany, nurse Bethany didn’t say – you’re a lucky lady. Many heart attacks are way worse. Suck it up.
She didn’t compare my difficulty to someone better or worse. She validated my experience. She didn’t hold it as a “complaint.”
I believe you.
She said,
“Oh honey, yes, this makes you really nauseous, and that is no fun. May I bring you some juice? Stay here as long as you need. We can’t have you going home feeling crummy.”
I believe you.
I believe your experience and I don’t need to invalidate it or criticize it or just because it’s uncomfortable I don’t have to squirm away from it. I believe you.
Dear Ones, you don’t owe anyone your relatability. You don’t have to invalidate your experience because it isn’t as bad as another’s. It’s YOUR experience, and your discomfort and stress are valid.
I wanna be more like Bethany – to myself and others. That tenderness heals. And when we’re healed, we can care more for those that have it way worse.
Today is a new day. Coffee in my cozy bed helps.
