Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, Authentic Leadership, Mindset and Thinking

Pearls on Inauguration Day: A Reclamation

January 22, 2021

What pearls mean for me:

Alli

 
I understand that pearls may have many different meanings. I understand and acknowledge that VP Harris wears pearls as a nod to her AKA sisterhood. Pearls are also one of the symbols of my Chi Omega Sisterhood.
 
When I was little… the grandmothers and mothers in my community would โ€œclutch their pearlsโ€ in horror, disgust, display, and feigned shock at what they considered unruly behavior or morals.
 
I was given a set of pearls as a teen by wealthy grandparents who also left me with a complicated heritage.
As a young woman, I was given a major, and privileged leg up with education and real estate funds.
 
I donโ€™t remember affection or love from my grandparents- at least in the way I understand warm love… just money to persuade, manipulate and control. I remember sensing from a very young age a sense of never enoughness – to both my parents and to us kids….especially if we had altruistic drives instead of financial. We broke society norms… and I get some of those norms hurt people around my family. We werenโ€™t fit for society. โ€œCrow Bullshitโ€ one of my siblings calls it.
 
My memories are my perspective and certainly might be distorted and conditioned.
 
I come from a paternal lineage of prim and proper, creative and charitable…. but never wild and free.
Profit and prosperity but without honor…instead with abuse.
 
I will never clutch my pearls.
I will wear them with the symbolism ? give them.
I will create new meaning as I see fit.
I am the decider.
I am a grown-ass-woman.
I and soft and strong.
I am grace and class, and wild and crass.
I have a mind and personal power.
I love and honor my husband because he has earned it, not because of his position in our marriage.
 
I am a businesswoman. I create prosperity and profit with honor, and I adore my craft and continuing to learn about psychology, personal, spiritual, and business growth.
I have spent 35 years undoing old stories around wealth and money bs – and today, I create with clear DNA. And when I give, I give freely with joy and release.
 
I take on the wisdom and grit of a pearl. I string myself together with other pearls…. my sisters and friends. Together we are better.
I am willing for my wisdom to be formed in ugly and slimy shells trusting that I am safe. I am living the process of life!
 
I may not have the human innocence and perfection a pearl often symbolizes… but I claim ?? pearls stand for perfect imperfection and an integrous heart living a complicated life.
 
I claim the feminine beauty of the pearl. I declare pearls proper for any time of day or night.
 
With jeans and a tee, or with a little pink dress. Or with Chucks. I adorn myself as a way of celebrating myself from the inside out.
 
And today, for me – pearls represent all women. And the honor it is to have our first female Vice President of the United States, Kamala Harris.
 
Here I am. In my pearls.
 

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Meaning of Pearls
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About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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๐Ÿ’› Finding Home in the Wild Edges of Being Human

๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
Instagram post 18053763071158914 Instagram post 18053763071158914
Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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