Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, Authentic Leadership, Coaching, FB Live, Leadership, Mindset and Thinking

Why I won’t use this effective coaching strategy: Lessons from real life coaching.

May 28, 2019

Why I won’t use this effective coaching strategy: Lessons from real life coaching.

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & ExecsπŸ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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previous article: Behind The Scenes: Identity Shifts & Big Changes
next article: Why I Almost Quit

Comments

  1. Christy Chick Nash says: May 28, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Hey! ???

  2. Megan Winkler says: May 28, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Hey there!

  3. Antonia Warren Garcia-Vaso Canovas says: May 28, 2019 at 8:05 pm

    ??❀️

  4. Richard Morgan says: May 28, 2019 at 8:06 pm

    Hello ?

  5. Ashlie Woods says: May 28, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    ??

  6. Christy Chick Nash says: May 28, 2019 at 8:11 pm

    YES! YES! It’s for me! And for my dreams!!

  7. Lauren Stepanek Holder says: May 28, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    Hi there.

  8. Richard Morgan says: May 28, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    I just signed up a new client today. I told him I would not hold him accountable. I Will have fun exploring his creativity. ??????

    • Allison Crow says: May 28, 2019 at 9:45 pm

      Richard Morgan congratulations on the new client!

  9. Anonymous says: May 28, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    I just signed up a new client today. I told him I would not hold him accountable. I Will have fun exploring his creativity.

  10. Kecia Robinson says: May 28, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    Hey Allison!!❀️

  11. Lydia Michelson-Maverick says: May 28, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Yes!!!

  12. Malinda Baum says: May 28, 2019 at 8:21 pm

    <3

  13. Angela Kirschbaum Lammers says: May 28, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Create not Enforce is lovely.

    • Allison Crow says: May 28, 2019 at 9:45 pm

      Angela Kirschbaum Lammers I have seen the damage that had done. Create all the way.

  14. Yvette Lamidey says: May 28, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    Loved listening to this, thank you xx

    • Allison Crow says: May 28, 2019 at 9:35 pm

      Yvette Lamidey thank YOU ?

    • Allison Crow: SoulFull Living: Coaching & Strategy for Life & Business says: May 28, 2019 at 9:35 pm

      Yvette Lamidey thank YOU

  15. KT Ronshausen says: May 28, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    Thank you for not creating death to self! ??☠️

  16. Anonymous says: May 28, 2019 at 9:29 pm

    Thank you for not creating death to self!

  17. Michelle McMahon Stephens says: May 28, 2019 at 9:35 pm

    Replay! ???

  18. KT Ronshausen says: May 28, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    My dreams ARE the motivator!!! ???

    • Allison Crow says: May 28, 2019 at 10:33 pm

      YES! Woman!

  19. Anonymous says: May 28, 2019 at 9:39 pm

    My dreams ARE the motivator!!!

  20. KT Ronshausen says: May 28, 2019 at 9:40 pm
  21. Cara Wykowski says: May 28, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    Replay.

  22. Christy Lancaster Tornelli says: May 29, 2019 at 1:50 am

    So thankful for your presence in my life. This rings SO true in working with parents. Thank you for sharing!

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 2:36 am

      Christy Lancaster Tornelli no one deeply responds well to shame. We can be firm and loving. We can be clear and direct and β€” the client is more powerful than they think!

  23. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 1:54 am

    Thank you for being the coach we love! ?

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 2:36 am

      Jacqui Bowman yay!!!

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 2:41 am

      Jacqui Bowman oh look. There are two of me! (Still figuring out how to work from primarily my page ???)

  24. Anonymous says: May 29, 2019 at 1:54 am

    Thank you for being the coach we love!

    • Allison Crow: SoulFull Living: Coaching & Strategy for Life & Business says: May 29, 2019 at 2:41 am

      Jacqui Bowman oh look. There are two of me! (Still figuring out how to work from primarily my page )

  25. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 1:55 am

    Yes!!! Self leadership. Xoxo ?

  26. Anonymous says: May 29, 2019 at 1:55 am

    Yes!!! Self leadership. Xoxo

  27. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 1:56 am

    I would love to commit to some new things in my becoming!!! Yes! I need this!!!

  28. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 1:58 am

    #PullOutTheDeciderInThem

  29. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 2:00 am

    MyDreams and desires are my motivation! Yes! ?⭐️?⭐️

  30. Anonymous says: May 29, 2019 at 2:00 am

    MyDreams and desires are my motivation! Yes!

  31. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 2:04 am

    #Autonomy #ImTheDecider

  32. Jacqui Bowman says: May 29, 2019 at 2:16 am

    I don’t want to enforce… i want to create!!! Love that!

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 2:35 am

      Jacqui Bowman you know it!

  33. Shanti Zimmermann says: May 29, 2019 at 7:30 am

    Every SINGLE YES!

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 8:58 pm

      Shanti Zimmermann ahhhh I know you don’t play this game either.

  34. Ana Caragea says: May 29, 2019 at 7:42 am

    Yes! ???

  35. Ana Caragea says: May 29, 2019 at 7:50 am

    Love this live video!

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 12:56 pm

      Ana Caragea thank you.

  36. Ana Caragea says: May 29, 2019 at 7:50 am

    #createoutofjoy yes!

  37. Wendy Johnson Burge says: May 29, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    #replay. ?Self Leadership!

  38. Anonymous says: May 29, 2019 at 2:38 pm

    #replay. Self Leadership!

  39. Wendy Johnson Burge says: May 29, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    ? positive reinforcement.

    • Allison Crow says: May 29, 2019 at 8:58 pm

      Wendy Johnson Burge miss you woman.

  40. Anonymous says: May 29, 2019 at 2:44 pm

    positive reinforcement.

  41. Casey Choate says: May 29, 2019 at 6:02 pm

    Replay

  42. Shanti Zimmermann says: May 30, 2019 at 5:39 am

    Nope ?✨

  43. Taylor Kay Stephens says: May 31, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    I agree with you! To me it’s a short-term fix like a crash diet. It may get results temporarily, but not lasting change. It needs to become a lifestyle.

  44. Wendy Johnson Burge says: June 1, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    This is a powerful teaching point. Thank you. I keep listening to your insight into this. ?

  45. Anonymous says: June 1, 2019 at 2:22 pm

    This is a powerful teaching point. Thank you. I keep listening to your insight into this.

  46. Diane Reiner says: June 5, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    We do shame blame and guilt bad enough to ourselves.

    • Allison Crow says: June 5, 2019 at 8:30 pm

      Diane Reiner right?! No more. I will not pick up those weapons.

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛π₯𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 π›πž 𝐟𝐒𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 πšπ―π¨π’ππžπβ€”they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsβ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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