Allison Crow

Humaning

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Achievement and Success, Alignment, Anxiety, Authentic Leadership, Breath is your BFF, Coaching, Compassionate Inquiry, Conversations, IFS Coaching, Inner Whisper, Internal Family Systems, Internal Family Systems Coaching, Leadership, Life Coaching, Personal Growth, Releasing Resistance, Sacred Journeys, Self Leadership

Connect with your SELF

March 13, 2022

White paper with watercolor word self in blue and connect in green with yellow heart.
Self Connection: Take a moment to pause and connect in your body, your heart….your breath, and listen for YOUR truth.
We are taught to demonize and pathologize any “resistance, “block,” or difficult emotion – these are NOT problems to solve..they are opportunities for SELF-connection.
 
Almost EVERYTHING you have ever been taught or sold or experienced – taught you to defer your self-connection to acceptance by others and belonging, perceived emotional safety, or to give up your power.
 
Some of my clients are at the top of their fields and industry… and even at the top – is severe disconnection – and all the behaviors that come with that disconnection.
 
Imagine, for a moment, you moved so self-connected and self-trusting in the world…. what would be light? What would be easy? What would be profitable? How would your relationships be? What would the impact be on the people in your world without having to say a word?
 
This is the work I do. It’s for the brave and willing. The ones who are done pretzeling for everything outside of them.
White paper with watercolor word self in blue and connect in green with yellow heart.
 

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About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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  • Allison sitting in a yellow chair with a big smile holding a giant gold heart-shaped pillow in her arms.4 Elements that Make Up Our Inner Systems In the Internal Family Systems Framework
  • a hand written card that says Imagine: Having the internal skills to meet your inner and outer world with calm, connected compassionate curious confident creative, clear and courageous energy. Without having to self-shame, bypass, suppress, explode or control uncomfortable parts of you. Imagine truly loving and accepting all of you, and this transforming your inner peace and outer relationships giving you confidence.The Goals Of Internal Family Systems Coaching
previous article: Come Home To All of You
next article: Building Capacity for Deeper Work – Self Leadership
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๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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