Hi,ย
My name is Allison, and I am a recovering OVER ACHIEVER who has tied her worth in with her work.
I’ve been self employed for 8 of the last 10 years. The first year I worked for myself, I accomplished things that astonished and were accoladed by others. I survived and thrived after an unexpected divorce that left me feeling worthless and unchosen. During that time I experienced a drug like high – That I was worth something because I accomplished something (WARNING WARNING EGO taking HOLD here).
When you work for yourself, there is no one giving you hours or a list of things to do. ย There is also no one to remind you to schedule time off for yourself at the holidays. ย For years I didn’t take more than a day or two off. ย And this year, I planned to give myself 2 full weeks off during the holidays.
I admit it is a bit of a challenge for me to take some time off and do NOTHING. Because ego thoughts – separate from soul – try to tell me that I am nothing without the work that I do, or the performance I accomplish…that I AM my business…or that money will dry up if I take time off. ย This is where the stench of being a recovering overachiever show up and clashes with the aroma of my peppermint mocha.
It shows up in the form of anxiety about “business slowing down” if I stop working. ย I absorbed this toxic idea working in real estate. ย And so today, this recovering overachiever takes a few deep breaths and remembers that everything is taken care of, and that the Universe supports my journey and my seasons – both those of hard work, high visibility, and those of wintering, resting, and restoring energy in both my body and life, and in my coaching practice. ย And that I AM NOT my coaching practice.
It shows up in the form of SHOULDS – these are directly caused when I allow that little thief of JOY in…the one called Comparison…. ย My yucky voice shows up and berates me with these thoughts:
- I should be blogging
- I should be sending an email
- I should’ve made a holiday sale offeringย
- I shouldn’t hire coaches now
- I should have more people on my rosterย
- I should go back to the online marketing way of things instead of this deeply relational
- I should paint (yes even that)~
- I should have a better wardrobe (oops…. and yes…this slips in after watching 13 episodes of Scandal and seeing Olivia Popes obscenely expensive and gorgeous wardrobe. ย
- I should have gotten everyone presents so that I would be valuable (yes this bull shit creeps up).ย
- I should be responding to those important emails….
and blah blah blah.
And then I take a deep heart centered breath…I come back to my holy truths, spoken to me in love and peace by my Inner Whisper and Divine Business Manager:ย
- I write when I am inspiredย
- I email my tribe when I am inspired – I ditched the formulaic auto-drip emails in favor of authentic relating via natural energies.ย
- I didn’t make a holiday sale offering because I wasn’t inspired to do so. ย Money always comes, I have plenty, and there will be plenty in the future. ย Blessings and hooray for those colleagues who did.
- Of course your are hiring coaches now. ย You are completing a cycle and your Inner Wisdom has guided you well in the past and is now. ย Hiring Rich and Rafael was and is the perfect thing to do and now is the perfect time. ย PS…you thrive on these kinds of risks, Darling Allison. ย
- I have just the right number of people on my roster – exactly the number I chose to work with. ย Remember when you had 47, and 72 people…how exhausted your were and how you couldn’t really go deeply with any of them. ย YOU created this space because you desired the space, and depth and connection. ย BREATHE baby… it is perfect. ย And even now, Spirit is stirring a few new people… people who are looking for EXACTLY what you are offering. ย
- Regarding the online model and marketing thing, Allison. – There is no right and wrong. ย There is only what delights you. ย If it delights you…do it. If it repels you…then by all means, don’t. ย Stop taking things so seriously and have more fun. ย Follow your feel good. ย It is the BEST BUSINESS PLAN you have every worked. ย So keep working it…not only in business, but in life, my love.ย
- Paint when you are inspired. ย The guy who wrote WAR of ART – and anyone else that tells you to WRITE OR CREATE OR PAINT everyday because you should…is only telling you what works for them. ย So Allison, what works for you? Does it work for you to paint today? Then paint. ย If not then don’t.ย
- Enjoy the beauty of those clothes…and enjoy the comfort of your cotton and jeans and comfy shoes. ย When your spirit is in alignment –you LOOK GOOD and don’t have to wear high heels or swanky suits to support those you love and work with. ย If you want some sassy clothes… go get them….but you know you love your own unique version of style. ย Look in the mirror and see how beautiful you are NOW -today, even in your pjs and no make up. ย YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.ย
- Christmas – boy has it gotten messed up. ย Christmas isn’t about presents…it is about PRESENCE. ย The best gift you can give others is PRESENCE. ย BE PRESENT with your family and friends….but first and MOST importantly, be PRESENT with yourself. ย BE PRESENT with ME!ย
- Allison, my love, emails and anything else on your to do list….. they can wait. ย Remember…just be PRESENT. ย Follow Your FEEL GOOD. ย Trust your INSPIRATION. ย Go with your FLOW – even if it ebbs. ย Check in, CENTER…get in alignment. ย You know how to roll with this. ย And enjoy NOT being in email for a few more days love…. it will help with the PRESENCE. ย
AH yes….just a few moments to STOP the ego and inner critic thoughts. ย To hear what they have to say, and then gently listen to my Inner Wisdom and what she has to say. ย To allow myself that Divine Support. ย To know that I AM, simply because I exist. ย That, while yes, I contribute to the world and have created the gift of work that I love, and that I am not that work. ย I am not even the greatest of my contribution. ย I am simply spirit…that wants from time to time, to be PRESENT with ONENESS. ย Not so busy in the To DO’s of life and work.
Achievement — nothing wrong with it. ย Nothing wrong with hard work –and…remember who you were before you got lost. ย REMEMBER WHO YOU WERE BEFORE YOU GOT LOST. ย Get back in alignment with HER…and Just BE and watch life unfold perfectly.ย
Free Your Soul Babe…detach from all the thinking. ย Just because you think it…does not make it true. ย Tune in, center and just be— just be whatever your desire in each moment. ย