Allison Crow

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Achievement and Success, FB Live, Mindset and Thinking, Personal Growth, Releasing Resistance, Small Biz Support, Soul-Full Success

I know why you aren’t doing that thing you really want to do. It all boils down to this ONE thing….

January 17, 2018

I know why you aren’t doing that thing you really want to do. It all boils down to this ONE thing….

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by allisoncrow 

About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs๐Ÿ’›Author, Art, & Dogs

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Comments

  1. Nut Tmu-Ankh SaNut says: January 16, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    Hi Allison ?

  2. Amy Broghamer says: January 16, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    Hello!

  3. Rebecca Bray says: January 16, 2018 at 5:51 pm

    Hi!

  4. Cristina Palma says: January 16, 2018 at 5:52 pm

    and Mariama is watching with me too ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. Tracey Lee Wallace says: January 16, 2018 at 5:54 pm

    As a coach I am here to disrupt the comfortable patters.

  6. Tracey Lee Wallace says: January 16, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    Youโ€™re really just delaying discomfort

  7. Laura Adkerson Larcom says: January 16, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    Ooooh, I needed to hear this!!

  8. Ashlie Woods says: January 16, 2018 at 5:56 pm

    Hello there! Perfect timing to show up! Addicted to comfort :p

  9. Christy Chick Nash says: January 16, 2018 at 5:57 pm

    Good morning โ˜€๏ธ??

  10. Cristina Palma says: January 16, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    this is good “shit” lol ….for me and for my “strategic planning” with my client!!:)

  11. Cristina Palma says: January 16, 2018 at 6:02 pm

    “how awesome we are in discomfort” love it!

  12. Ashlie Woods says: January 16, 2018 at 6:03 pm

    I love that — > outsourcing discomfort

  13. Cristina Palma says: January 16, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    oh I avoid boredom too….big time!

  14. Suzanne Cleveland Armstrong says: January 16, 2018 at 6:05 pm

    Wtf- you are in myfreaking head. Thank you for giving it a voice.

  15. Suzanne Cleveland Armstrong says: January 16, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    Omg ? have that total thought about places I want to go too

  16. Suzanne Cleveland Armstrong says: January 16, 2018 at 6:07 pm

    Omg have that total thought about places I want to go too

  17. Ashlie Woods says: January 16, 2018 at 6:09 pm

    Oooh, yes… self-soothing is one of the most recent and valuable capacities that I’ve developed in the last few years (meditation helps).

  18. Christine Summers says: January 16, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    Itโ€™s ok to feel bad, have discomfort, shitty days happen!

  19. Suzanne Cleveland Armstrong says: January 16, 2018 at 6:10 pm

    โ€œThe avoidance of feeling bad is destroying usโ€- tears

  20. Ashlie Woods says: January 16, 2018 at 6:11 pm

    Avoiding rejection, failure, disappointment.

  21. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 6:14 pm

    Hey there!!!

  22. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    Acclimate to discomfort – yes!

  23. Michelle Schomaker says: January 16, 2018 at 6:18 pm

    Loving this. This is what’s up for me right now!

    • Allison Crow says: January 16, 2018 at 7:42 pm

      you are not alone!

  24. Suzanne Cleveland Armstrong says: January 16, 2018 at 6:20 pm

    I need to boogie- will this be replayed? I must finish listening this is so important.

  25. Cristina Palma says: January 16, 2018 at 6:22 pm

    being in India is ver “uncomfortable” some times….felt like leaving..and tired…but stay in it!

  26. Laura Adkerson Larcom says: January 16, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Thanks so much! So valuable.

  27. Paula Roelands says: January 16, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    Feeling the discomfort and being in it….and learning itโ€™s ok to feel it

  28. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 6:23 pm

    ????

  29. Mary Ann Piro-Geyer says: January 16, 2018 at 6:27 pm

    Watching again..

    • Allison Crow says: January 16, 2018 at 6:29 pm

      take notes of the questions. go slow.

  30. Rebecca Anne says: January 16, 2018 at 7:02 pm

    I have two thoughts- this was a great talk! I often think this is why we often find people with trauma in their past, moving forward into business ownership. They are forced into the discomfort and then survive. Through this they learn they can push the discomfort boundary. We have to remember these instincts of discomfort come from centuries ago when we needed to be more cautious. Also, this reminded me of this TED talk which helped me funnel those anxious discomforts into successful energy. https://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend

    • Allison Crow says: January 16, 2018 at 7:04 pm

      I love you and am so proud of you.

  31. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    โ€œOur greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.โ€ Marianne Williamson. Thatโ€™s been the thing for me I think. And Iโ€™m wondering what youโ€™re going I say. โค๏ธ

    • Allison Crow says: January 16, 2018 at 7:43 pm

      What do you think it is that we avoid when avoiding our power and our bigness?

    • Nadine Larder says: January 17, 2018 at 3:31 am

      Allison Crow for me… it feels too big sometimes. It feels like more than I can handle and take on… which goes right along with what you are saying about desiring comfort. I also wonder if it has to do with not feeling worthy to accept we are capable of such greatness. I certainly deal with that and question myself in that regard.

      What do you think it is?

  32. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:36 pm

    โ€œOur greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.โ€ Marianne Williamson. Thatโ€™s been the thing for me I think. And Iโ€™m wondering what youโ€™re going I say.

  33. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:41 pm

    Option B is Comfortable

  34. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:42 pm

    Interesting about ease and discomfort.

  35. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:46 pm

    Definitely keeps me from working out. The huge discomfort. I hate it!

  36. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:50 pm

    Makes so much sense!

  37. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:54 pm

    Boredom is HUGE for me.

  38. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:55 pm

    โ€œItโ€™s okay for me to feel bored.โ€ ???

  39. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:55 pm

    โ€œItโ€™s okay for me to feel bored.โ€

  40. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 7:56 pm

    Bali is amazing! The plane ride is brutal. Iโ€™m with you on the plane ride… no thanks.

  41. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    Iโ€™m so lucky that you are my coach! Youโ€™re amazing and I love you dearly. โค๏ธโค๏ธโค๏ธ

  42. Nadine Larder says: January 16, 2018 at 8:03 pm

    Iโ€™m so lucky that you are my coach! Youโ€™re amazing and I love you dearly.

  43. Angela C. Britton says: January 16, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    Avoid rejection

  44. Angela C. Britton says: January 16, 2018 at 8:18 pm

    #replay

  45. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:27 pm

    Watching the replay

  46. Amy D Marie says: January 16, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    ? Catching the replay ?

  47. Amy D Marie says: January 16, 2018 at 8:33 pm

    Catching the replay

  48. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:36 pm

    What if discomfort IS where are all the beautiful pearls are hiding?

  49. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:37 pm

    Acclimated to a new altitude of discomfort

  50. Amy D Marie says: January 16, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    This is so juicy! ? I’ve been chanting to myself lately… I CAN DO THIS… in the process of working through the pain of CHANGE. ๐Ÿ™‚

  51. Amy D Marie says: January 16, 2018 at 8:38 pm

    This is so juicy! I’ve been chanting to myself lately… I CAN DO THIS… in the process of working through the pain of CHANGE. ๐Ÿ™‚

  52. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:41 pm

    Practice visualizing how awesome we are in the discomfort

  53. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:44 pm

    Yes I love your podcast!

  54. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    What if our greatness, our true amazing ness is found in the discomfort!!!

  55. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:47 pm

    Avoiding the discomfort is a way to keep us in the โ€œwantingโ€ and in the victim mode

  56. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:48 pm

    Totally creating new neural pathways in the discomfort

  57. Leslie Typrin says: January 16, 2018 at 8:49 pm

    The avoidance of feeling bad is destroying us!

  58. JC Williams says: January 16, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    Hey gorgeous ??

  59. JC Williams says: January 16, 2018 at 8:55 pm

    Hey gorgeous

  60. Joelle Collins Bohart says: January 16, 2018 at 9:17 pm

    So hereโ€™s the question- how do we counteract the mind-spinning when weโ€™re uncomfortable?

    • Allison Crow says: January 16, 2018 at 9:24 pm

      Breathe.

    • Ashlie Woods says: January 16, 2018 at 10:43 pm

      I second that breathing ๐Ÿ™‚ I find that taking awareness into the body (breathing being a prime way, movement being another) is key to slowing the thoughts down. It takes the attention and puts it somewhere other than thought which is like taking your foot off the pedal.

  61. Michelle Jeanette says: January 16, 2018 at 11:34 pm

    I’m in the discomfort now โคโคโค but I’m going to make it my BFBF ?

  62. Michelle Jeanette says: January 16, 2018 at 11:52 pm

    I love your stuff ? I love you ?

  63. Ana Caragea says: January 17, 2018 at 1:56 am

    Pure gold! Thank you!

  64. Tracey Lee Wallace says: January 17, 2018 at 2:12 pm

    I play backgammon when I poop

  65. Tracey Lee Wallace says: January 17, 2018 at 2:18 pm

    Yes AND on the way to feeling good we must be willing to move through everything that is in our way!

  66. Allison Field says: January 17, 2018 at 2:43 pm

    This is so wonderful and helpful being present and embracing discomfort!

    • Allison Crow says: January 17, 2018 at 3:29 pm

      Thank you ?

  67. Minaye Tefera says: January 18, 2018 at 1:19 am

    Thank you Allison great video! For me i avoid discomfort by doing something i know how to do like starting or planning new project or routine, working around the house even if i have presentation to do……

  68. Helen May says: January 18, 2018 at 11:44 am

    I’m so guilty of glorifying ease

    • Allison Crow says: January 19, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      Glorifying ease is better that glorifying productivity. ???? I love ease. And we canโ€™t bypass the discomfort.

    • Allison Crow says: January 19, 2018 at 8:44 pm

      Glorifying ease is better that glorifying productivity. I love ease. And we canโ€™t bypass the discomfort.

  69. Christy Chick Nash says: January 19, 2018 at 6:16 pm

    I ask this question often.

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๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง ๐„๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐š๐ซ๐ž ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐จ๐›๐ฅ๐ž๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐›๐ž ๐Ÿ๐ข๐ฑ๐ž๐ ๐จ๐ซ ๐š๐ฏ๐จ๐ข๐๐ž๐โ€”theyโ€™re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful partsโ€”my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesdayโ€™s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
Instagram post 18052656569149431 Instagram post 18052656569149431
For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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