Allison Crow

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Personal, Podcast, Recovering Overachiever, Releasing Resistance, Small Biz Support

BLBW Ep #18: Cracking Up – The Follow Up to the Meltdown

June 27, 2017

This is what I call my crazy-lady crack up episode.  And before you judge the insanity – know that every time I break apart – or life breaks apart – it actually gets rebuilt better.  

If I’d only known what I know now when this was recorded just a few weeks ago.  This is really an epic story – and I’m sure you’ve had or are having, or will have your version of it some day.  If you missed the last episode you will want to actually go back to 16 and 17 to get some context for this one — and then stay tuned for the miracles that are unfolding even today.  

This was not really set up to be a part of the show but was an update given on FBLive – about what was actually happening to cause my meltdown. This was the day after the surrender.  You may have heard the phrase, the breakdown comes before the breakthrough.  This is the afterglow of the breakdown and surrender.    

And yes, it feels a little awkward to share, but dang it? I’m so tired of only seeing the shiny side of leadership.  And I want you to know you are not alone, and that it IS possible to have soul-full success even if everything stops working or feels like it is falling apart.   And believe it or not, I actually had a new client reach out and say – she wanted to work with me because of this breakdown – because of this truth that most people don’t share.  

I can’t NOT share these stories— and when I do – I find that so many of you are inspired, that so many of you stay the course, or surrender, or hear a deeper wisdom in the midst of your own shitty story…. and in the end, it helps.  And shortly after this —- because of the surrender – life and work opened up a whole new world of miracles to me – that were there all along, I just couldn’t see because I had my head up my ass.  

Sending so much love and appreciation for those who stay tuned in even when things get messy.  The Mess is the Masterpiece.  

Love,

 Allison 

 

ps, you can find the video version here.

 

 

 

 

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About allisoncrow

Advanced Personal Development Life Coach for Experienced Business Owners & Execs💛Author, Art, & Dogs

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𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐱𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝—they’re messages from different parts of you. Rather than labeling them as good or bad, approach them with curiosity. Each emotion is a part of your system trying to communicate something important about your needs. By listening with empathy to these parts, you deepen your understanding of yourself and build emotional intelligence. This practice of compassionate inquiry helps you strengthen your connection to your internal experience and empowers you to respond in a way that aligns with your true Self.
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Overthink Much? I have this mental ideal that is Overthink Much?

I have this mental ideal that is embedded in my brain that I would be able to wake up and move forward with all my intentions.  I can see the clear direction and simple steps. I can envision all the "results" and the relief I make up those results would bring. 

One of the things I'm teaching myself to do - is try to write more from a professional voice for you instead of blab in inner processing out on this little white pop-up box. 

How's that working, Alli?

Buahahahah.... all my sweet and striving little parts trying to hold my life closely to that ideal.  I sense the squirm of these parts in my body even when my "thinking" is clear.

I now know this to be a signal for me to slow down and meet those parts with calm and curiosity. First, I must get past one of my sneakiest and most powerful parts—my "awareness" part. This is not Awareness from my core self. 
In IFS - we call these self-like parts. The distinction is that the awareness part carries the burden and tone of "You're doing it wrong."

I asked my clients to notice the part of them that is "mindful and self-aware." What are the words that the voice uses? What is its tone? 

Is it SELF-calm and compassionate, deeply connected? Or is it cognitive and managerial with a motive? 

OOOOF...sending sweet love and compassion to all my thinking, overthinking, and trying-to-get-it-right-for-some-imaginaryideal-parts, and to yours. 

These parts need our somatic connection and attunement. They do not need judgment and alienation. They are scared and holding ages of fear and pain. 

Hello, inner managers, and judgers, and thinkers.  I see you.  I am here for you.  I see your skills.  You have done nothing wrong.  No matter what you feel, you deserve more love, not less.  Let's just breathe together, and then you can share your fears and concerns.  I am here for you.  I will not leave you.
This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left This sweet girl. Only a few taco Tuesday’s left before they move across the state.
In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads In the IFS community, we call triggers "trailheads" or say, "This part of me is really activated." Identifying and caring for emotionally reactive parts gives us the opportunity to respond with intention rather than impulsively. By practicing emotional regulation and internal partswork, you can create space between stimulus and response, allowing for more thoughtful and grounded decision-making.
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For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and b For me, it was the fear I would disintegrate and be insignificant.  For many, it's attached to conditional love.  IFS coaching helped me in places typical coaching couldn't.  It helped me compassionately understand and connect with these parts - and ya know what? They began to relax, build trust, and step back, leaving space for my natural creativity, grounded confidence, and clarity to lead in my work & life.  This is available to you.  #ifscoaching
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